Dangerously Beautiful (Gozar Sisters #2)

Chapter 12

Samuel Orsini

In my whole entire work life, I've never been distracted. Work always comes first because it's the source of my living and I don't have any reason to be distracted. I didn't have friends outside work. I was always a loner.

Napahilot ako sa aking sentido at napahikab. Dalawang oras lang ang tulog ko dahil hindi ako dinadalaw ng antok. I shut the laptop at ipinatong ang ulo ko sa table.

I'm sleepless and probably will be jobless if I continue being this incompetent. Sa loob ng isang linggo na hindi ko nakikita si Miranda ay palala ng palala ang behavior ko. I can't finish any work. I always lash out on Charity even though she made a fùcking teeny tiny mistake. Goddamn it, I hate myself for that. I already apologized to her and used all my energy to keep my cool.

Ngunit nawawala iyon tuwing naalala ko ang nakita ko sa bookstore.

Miranda and another guy...laughing and talking to each other as if they've known each other forever. That rages the fùck out of me. I can't bear it. Nakakagalit at masakit.

I'm so fùcked because never in my life, I felt this way before. I've never been jealous of anyone until now. The idea of Miranda being with another guy--

"Fùck! No!" I shouted and bashed my fist on the table until it hurt and became numb.

Hindi pwede. I promised her that I wouldn't fall in love with her pero tangina ang hirap naman non dahil sobrang sarap niyang mahalin at alagaan.

A lone tear escaped from my eye. Hulog na hulog na ako sa kanya. I broke my promise and no matter how I thought about it and even if I get a chance to go back in time, I would absolutely do it again and again without a fùcking blink.

She makes my heartbeat so fast and whenever I see her, I see a fùcking future that probably will never happen because she made it clear that we're just fùcking each other.

Nothing more.

And I can't seem to accept that. I just don't want to have sèx with her, anymore. I want to do more with her and be somebody more than just a fùck buddy.

I can't fall asleep. Everynight, I'm in my living room. Hawak ko ang bote ng Hennessy at nakatitig sa kawalan. Si Miranda Gozar ang laman ng utak ko. I don't know if she bewitched me but right now, all I want is to be with her.

I miss her touch, her smell, her smile, her dirty jokes, just all of her.

Tinungga ko ang alak at gumuhit agad iyon sa aking lalamunan. I drank until I passed out.

I'm gonna try to contain whatever this is, I'm feeling because I'm gonna scare her away if I admit it. She's going to end the contract and she's gonna leave me, I can't let that fùcking happen. That's why I texted her that I can't see her this weekend.

I have to calm myself, so, when I meet her next week, I'll be normal. 

Kinabukasan ay pumasok ako ng may hangover at kulang sa tulog. It's lunchtime and I decided to meet Nana and Lolo Romwaldo in a coffee shop nearby. They were at the mall, having a sweet date and they texted me If I could meet with them. I gladly agreed.

Sana all may sweet date 'di ba?

When I was a kid, hindi ko mai-pronounce ang 'grandma'. I had a hard time pronouncing words, growing up. So, instead of saying 'grandma' I say 'Nana'. 

'Yon na ang nakabihasnan ko so up to today iyon ang tawag ko sa lola ko.

Nana had my mom years after she went to the War. My grandfather bailed on her when she got pregnant with my mother. She met Lolo Romwaldo when she was seventy. That's the proof na walang matanda or too late for love. If there's someone for you, darating at darating 'yun.