Who am I?
This is a question that should be easy to answer but just isn't. This is because it all depends on perspective. There are so many fill in the blanks to be included.
To my classmates I'm the nice girl or the sweetheart. The one who is weird but wouldn't hurt a fly. The girl who is approachable and is always smiling. The one who has all the supplies you could ever need in her backpack along with a sketchbook. Or at least I am to the peers that get to know me. To the ones who know me through rumors I'm that poor girl who got cheated on last fall, but didn't let it define her. That or I'm a teacher's kid.
To my older peers who have graduated and have their own lives now I was the kid. The reserved freshman who just wanted to survive. The easy going girl who was a hard worker and was always around. No I wasn't a stalker, but I did enjoy their company more because I was constantly learning from them.
To my friends I am "The ray of sunshine." The one who brightens their days. The one with the annoying dad jokes and puns that they secretly love. The one who is loyal and super cringy. The girl who is honest, and a lot of fun to be around. I'm the girl who seems to know all the kids in school, even though I don't. To them I'm the goofball who does random dance moves or something else stupid of that nature just to see them smile. The crackhead of the group if you will. The one who is basically a big kid.
To standardized tests, colleges, and surveys I'm the "smart" black girl. The one who gets decent grades and doesn't act a fool in class. A statistic if you will; another number that the school system can brag on. But what they don't see is the late night studying, constant breakdowns, and tears that I'm forced to hide. The very tears that if the public eye saw them I'd be weak or labeled as another angry black woman.
My school children see me as many things. A mentor, friend, mom, and overall cool person. These kiddos keep my head on straight, yet still manage to keep me running. i took them under my wing because in some way they all reminded me of myself. Either what I wanted to be or what I used to be at their age. Most of them are juniors now but they will always be my babies. To them I am a shoulder to cry on, someone that listens. I am an advisor and protector. I guide them away from making the same mistakes that I've made while they teach me new tricks. We are each other's teacher and rock if you will. A family that diverse in race/ethnicity and personalities.
To my so called "enemies" I'm that spoiled brat who gets whatever she wants. The girl that gets along with everyone and is "little miss perfect." The one that knows the entire school building. The girl who they only see flaws in and wants to bring me down. I'm the one who they give dirty looks to and who's buttons they enjoy pushing. Yes, this is jealousy but to someone that is who I am. So when asked this question technically they are right.
So who is Niani? I am an empathetic, curious, goofy person. I am someone who is unapologetically herself no matter what. I'm a person who has feelings but struggles to express them. I am a person who just wants to make the most of life. The girl who can get along with most people but takes time to warm up to them. The one who didn't let being cheating on define her. The one who always has a song stuck in her head, even when she doesn't want to. I am Niani.
