Mend my heart

Insert 6

Nkanyiso
I drove with my uncles in the car and my mom. My life has been a nightmare and everywhere i go they say i need to make right where i went wrong and the only wrong that I remember in my whole existences is lulama and the baby I made her lose. Yes I showed my family where I made lulama dig for the baby and burry it. We went there and found the plastic. We got the sangoma to do all that they need to be done in order for things to be okay but still abadala( ancestors) want me to cleanse the mother and to apologise and have her accept the apology. So now here I am after 4 miscarriages and my wife has left me and got pregnant 5 months after leaving me to show that am the problem and my business at the bleak of going under. I have exactly 6 months to sort the mess out. I have confessed to my wife and she has left me asking for a break and went home. Iv distanced myself from the business and left it at the hands of my friend and some how its striving with her. Iv been having nightmares and iv been losing weight. My child spirit has been haunting me and all because Iv hurt the one woman who has ever loved me and adored me. The one woman who was going to withstand everything that I am. The one person who I was blessed enough to have kids. And now I have to go back and I undo my mess. I parked outside the Phongo resident and my mom rubbed my shoulders.
Mom: kuzolunga mntanami( it will be okay my child)
Uncle: asibe ethembeni( let have faith) we got out of the car and we said all the clan names and praises as we walked into the yard with a goat. The goat was an apology for coming un announced.

Lulama
I ran out of the shower as my phone was ringing. I finally got to it and it was J.T. I sat on my bed with a towel wrapped around me.
Me: Hey. I paced my breathing after the run from the bathroom.
J.T: Hi, did I disturb you?
Me: just came out of the shower.
J.T: oh sorry.. There was silence than he sighed and I waited.
J.T: uhm just wanted to see if we can do dinner. I was taken back by that and I had no idea how to react to that.
Me:uhm, am not really a crowd person you know.
J.T: we don't have to be in a crowd than.
Me: how?
J.T: say yes to dinner in an hours time and you will see what I mean by that. I kept quiet for awhile not knowing what to say or do.
Me: what must I wear? He sighed a sigh of relief
J.T: am taking that as a yes than
Me: depends on what you want me to wear? He laughed and I heard some shuffling.
J.T: its a little chilly outside. Causal warm will be fine
Me: Than its a Yes than.
J.T pick you up in an hours time. I hesitated not wanting to share my address with him.
Me: uhm
J.T: i wont bite and you can share my number plate with your friends and even send them a picture of me. I promise i mean no harm. I kept quiet for a while and than looked at the phone for a while than sighed.
Me: okay, ill send it to you
J.T: I promise you won't regret this... he hung up and I felt myself smile and jumped up and down kicking the air. So am seriously going to a date with a man I don't know after all that man has ever done to me. Wow girl. I stood by the mirror looking at myself and the smile that was playing on my lips. Really going to do this? I opened my closet and stood there thinking what can I wear that subtle and yet banging. oh gosh am really going on a date!!!!!

J.T
I called a friend of mine that owns Foundry in Parktown in Johannesburg.
Me: KG
Kg: sho ntwana( greetings)
Me: good, i need a favour. I know you about to open but I want you to close up and can I book you for myself?
KG: woah, who is she?
Me: That obvious?
KG: iv seen you shoot a person in a room full of people and no one notice but me and I noticed cause I was walking with you. Now who is the special lady that going to make you spend 80k just for dinner because that how much am charging you for the request. I laughed so much giving how such a straight talker he is.
Me: I think she is the one. There was silence for a moment and he breathed.
KG: does she know about you? Your job? Your family? Your situation? What you are?
Me: No
KG: well my friend let me prepare a night for her that she will never forget. See you in an hour and a half?
Me: that good Ill have to drive really slowly. He laughed and hung up as I went upstairs to my closet and got out my flannel pants, top, jersey and sneakers. I was so nervous this was my first ever proper date, no scratch that my first ever date. Yes iv had fuck buddies all my adult life but to actually want me from a woman either than just mere sex. I calmed myself and went to the garage drove out in my black Audi TT sport to her place......