The Sackler Trap

Uncharted Waters

Eve agreed to stay, not only through breakfast, but throughout the rest of our weekend and I couldn't have been more pleased. While I took over cooking duties I watched as Adam and Eve, as friendly and affable as if their spat had never taken place, bantered back and forth and occasionally howled with hilarity at some remembered occurrence of their shared past.

They quoted old lines at each other over breakfast and cackled uproariously when the other would get it wrong.

"Remember how we drove Sharon and John crazy with that first kiss last season?"

Adam dismissed Eve with a wave of his hand. "I don't know what you're talking about, I was totally professional!"

Eve's mouth dropped and she laughed. "You? You kept fumbling on purpose! Like you'd never kissed a girl in your life!"

"You made fun of my fucking nose!"

"I wasn't making fun of it," Eve protested, her eyes glittering with humor. "I was wondering what you'd do with it when you went in to kiss me."

"It's the same fucking thing!" he cried, but he was smiling.

I lowered my head and covered my face with my hand to hide my laughter.

"Either way, you contrived to make it the absolute worse kiss I've ever received," Eve retorted.

"I was just trying to be nice to all your..." Adam stopped short and looked sheepish.

Eve's smile dropped a bit. "Yeah..." she said slowly, getting up. "Look, this was great, Julie. I'll wash the dishes. Why don't you two go...I don't know...make a porn or something?"

I gawked and felt my cheeks go red with heat. Adam grinned mischievously at me and caught his bottom lip with his teeth. I shook with silent laughter.

Apparently, Eve wasn't finished. She smiled as she carried dishes to the sink. "I just hope you're still using your ring, Julie."

I frowned in confusion. "My...what?" I asked with a confused laugh.

Eve spun around and assumed a pose. Using her thumb and forefinger as if she was holding something small between them, she said with a bright smile, "Annovera is the only birth control I trust with my busy lifestyle!"

I covered my face with my hands and groaned in embarrassment while Adam giggled at Eve's mockery of my commercial.

"It's so small neither I nor my partners can feel it!" she went on.

"That wasn't in the commercial!" I cried, my flushed and hot with humiliation.

"Plus, it's 99% effective at preventing pregnancy!" she continued, oblivious to my red face. "Adam, just think...99% effective and you can't even feel it! It fits comfortably inside the vaginal canal..."

I slapped the table with my hand. "O-kay then," I said getting to my feet. "I felt bad about letting you do the dishes, Eve, but now...you can have at it."

Eve was laughing merrily and ruffled an amused Adam's hair fondly as she took his plate. "It's ok, Julie. Adam's seen your commercial, we watched it together. A girl has to eat between jobs." She did her best Nicole Kidman in Moulin Rouge impression sending Adam and me into fits of laughter again. "Did you know Adam once did a very depressing commercial for an anti-depressant?"

Adam groaned and wrinkled his nose. "Ugggh, Eve, no!"

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