Philautia

Green

"The moment you look at her, an unpleasant feeling crawls up your throat. Its hard to swallow, and you're left with a grimace on your face. Her teeth are aligned in a straight row when she smiles. While yours seem to overlap, which leaves you with soft smiles showing no teeth. Her body curves in the right places, while yours curves too much one way and not enough in the other."

"Look at her. She's so smart, her brain seems to absorb everything, leaving no confusion. While your stuck, lost, unclear on which direction to take. You sit, pretending like you know what's going on, with your head in a constant nodding motion. Barely getting through one class, while she is balancing six harder classes and still making better grades than you. You wonder, how do I get like her?"

"You sit, invisible. Blending into obscurity in the couch. While she shines, everybody in the room enraptured by her aura. You try, but an anxiety creeps around your shoulder like an old friend and stops you. You wish you could be carefree. Like her.
Making her way around the room, dancing, bringing a smile to people's faces. While you, attempt, but feel like your awkwardness illuminates more than your effort, and in a room full of people you feel exposed."

Envy can be a dangerous thing. It could be the devil on your shoulder, his whispers singing a song of bitterness. It could be your reflection, as it stares at you like you're not enough. It is the depression, sadness, and coldness of the blue hues mixed with the irrationality, deception, and emotional fragility of the yellow pigments. Making green. Turning you ugly, not on the outside, but on the inside.