My shoes clack as I walk across the office. The
sounds seem to echo off the walls as is if to alert
my presence. Encouragement coming from myself
to shield my body from the doubt being thrown at
me like rocks against a window. I have to remember
to hold my head up high to keep my confidence
afloat; eager sharks lurking in the water, waiting
to snatch it the moment my head hangs too low.
I put on my tough skin this morning., zipped it all
way up and hoped it would be warm enough in this
cold place. Sometimes I forget it at home and have
to bare with the chills causing goosebumps on my
arms. Faces staring at me trying to figure out, who
I am, not knowing that my hair does not define
who I am. Too wide smiles, pull their skin while
saying they understand if I do not understand.
Mocking. And pursed lips cause wrinkles when
I say, I do understand. Misguided anger directed
at me, when I was simply following their directions.
Missed anger at the ones actually at fault. Goading me.
And their already pursed lips dip down when I
don't reflect my rightful anger back at them. My too
wide smile pulling my skin as I say, I understand if
you do not understand. The hours go by slowly, like
watching a pot and waiting for it to boil. The mental
strain of being a black sheep among white wool,
easy for the wolf to come feast; is draining. Like
Cinderella, when the clock strikes, I leave without
looking back. Leaving only my hard work behind.
My feet clack as I walk across the parking lot but
there is no echo, only the sounds of keys jingling as
I leave for the day. I walk into my apartment and
breathe a sigh of
relief.
A/N
As an engineering major, I'm almost always the only black women or one of the only few women in general at my internships.It's hard because you feel like you don't belong while constantly trying to prove that you do. It actually takes a strain on your mental health sometimes.
But whatever occupation you hold, remember
you earned that position for a reason, don't forget that ❤
YOU ARE READING
Philautia
PoesiaPhilautia phee-lav-TEE-ah /fɪˈlɔː.ti.ə/ Greek (n.) Love of the self How deep is your love for yourself? Have you explored the journey to the depths of who you are and accepted yourself unconditionally? Flaws and all? Insecurities? A collection of p...
