Back When the Lights Shined

Chapter SIx

I wake up the next morning halfway on top of Ashton. His arms are still wrapped around my waist, lightly resting. My head is tucked underneath his chin. He smells like the earth: clean and beautiful. The cold is unnoticeable; since we’re lying so close our body heat keeps us warm. I move my head a little, waking him up. We both sit up awkwardly, not saying a word about it. Ashton looks up at the sun.

            “We’re late. We need to get you across the border before you miss scheduling,” he says. We both know the consequences of that. People will ask questions, and there is a possibility of them finding out what’s been going on. If I want to be a spy, that can’t happen.

            Ashton jumps down from the tree like it’s no problem. I prefer to climb down, taking the safer route. Then, we head to the fence. This time, Ashton walks with me.

            “I know your friend, Jason¾” he begins.

            “Jaydon,” I correct.

            “Right. I know he already knows you crossed once, but he can’t hear about it again.”

            “He’ll notice I’m late. Jaydon’s smart. Figuring it out will be too easy for him.”

            “Well, don’t give details. Not about the wolf incident, and definitely not about last night in the tree. If you’re going to be the spy, everything across that border has to be a secret.”

            “Ashton, are you not wanting me to be a spy?” I question, thinking of his reaction last night.

            “No. That’s your choice. I’m just worried… I want you to be careful, I mean. It’s a dangerous job. I don’t want you getting hurt because of it,” he says. Shocked, I look up at him, completely in awe. No one has every worried about my safety except Jaydon. But even he is never absolutely worried for me.

            Suddenly, I realize what’s happening. Clammy palms. Fast heartbeat. The chill down my spine whenever he touches me. Lying next to him so comfortably. Trusting him so easily. Mesmerized by everything he tells me. Over the course of these two weeks, I’m falling in love.

            Finally, we reach the fence. Instead of heading across immediately, I pause, thinking it all through. What exactly does it mean to be a spy?

            “What do you want me to find out?”

            “Anything. You’re in training, right? Tonight, tell me what goes on in there, and I’ll pass it on to Sarai.”

            “I can do that,” I say, turning to the fence. Ashton lightly stops me by grabbing my arm.

            “Zena, don’t snoop around just yet. It’s way too risky,” he says, shaking his head. I feel his hand run down my arm to find my hand. He gently folds his fingers in-between mine. Electricity is running through me. I can’t help but wonder if he feels it too, or if I’m alone in the feeling. “Please be careful.”

            “You’re scaring me. I’ll be careful, I promise,” I say. I can tell he’s still worried for me. As twisted as it seems, I’m glad he’s worried. At least I know he isn’t using me for this.

            “Good luck,” he says, regretfully. He pulls me in for a hug, wrapping his arms around me. As we draw back, we lock eyes. He holds me there for a second, staring back at each other. I feel the connection between us growing stronger.

            Then, the unthinkable happens. We lean in towards each other, slowly closing our eyes and parting our lips. Then, we’re kissing. I can feel explosions of adrenaline and excitement going off in my head and butterflies dancing in my stomach. He pulls me closer, kissing me again. Every inch of me is screaming: No! Crazy! Stop! Dangerous! Then, it’s as if every part of me was converted. The voices cease, forming a single whisper. The same whisper now overpowers everything else. It says the same word: Go. Go. Go. Then, it says others: Perfect. Real. Safe. That’s how I feel here. Safe. Right here, on the wrong side of the border. Except, it doesn’t feel like the wrong side, anymore. I feel like I’m meant to be here, hiding in the mountains. Where people sleep in the trees and decide things for themselves. Here, with Ashton, in this perfect moment.