Succumb (A Severus Snape Fanfiction)

|chapter eleven|

Warnings: Mentions of violence

A/N: This chapter will slightly address some darker parts of Kathryn's nature. I know I have put her in the general direction toward redemption, but she is still a Death Eater that has to do bad things and is addicted to using her powers for evil. I feel it would be unrealistic for her to just turn that off because she wants to be good. She's imperfect, and is in fact a villain despite her desire not to be.

I hope you enjoy, and thanks so much for reading

I shifted on the uncomfortable barstool beneath me, eyes glued to the scuffed, wooden surface of the bar in front of me. I was finally free from the walls of Hogwarts, if only for a brief time. Like most other times after carrying out whatever services Voldemort required of me, I was putting off my inevitable return to the school. Though in place of my usual firewhiskey, I was nursing a butterbeer.

The pub was booming with noise, but I could hardly notice it over the sounds of what I had done that night resonated through my head on repeat. Screams, so much screaming. The young couple's pleading cries as shadows surrounded them.. as those shadows grasped and pulled and tortured.

Fuck.

The question that most often weighed on me after nights such as these surfaced. How was I supposed to just return to Severus as if I hadn't just been the one to inflict such agony on other people? Would he still find my actions so excusable if he were there to witness my indiscretions first hand?

It was true, perhaps, that I didn't have a choice but to follow Voldemort's orders if I wanted to continue my part as a loyal follower. To blame my powers was easy, but they were what I was made of were they not? How much longer until Severus finally saw how monstrous I truly was?

Dumbledore had once told me of the Shade called Valentina Ricci, how she had claimed that her child had saved her from the darkness. That it was love that kept her grounded. I had that- love. I had Severus, Poppy, and now I even had a child of my own growing inside of me.

Had Valentina continued to struggle as I was struggling? Severus kept me grounded, that was for certain. There were moments when it was just him and I that sometimes I could pretend I was just a normal, boring person, but it never lasted.

The desire for destruction was always there, creeping in the back of my mind, whispering to me during my time alone, consuming me when following Voldemort's orders.

I thought back to our conversation the night I told Severus I was pregnant. Could Azkaban even hold someone like me? Was it foolish to think that after the things I had done, the Ministry would even take that chance?

What if they simply decided to execute me? Merlin knew it would be the safest decision for everyone, but despite the fact that I deserved it- I didn't want to die. I hadn't voiced that fear to Severus, but it was there.

"You really should work on not being so predictable." I didn't bother glancing over as the empty stool next to mine was taken.

"It's wonderful to see you, Narcissa," I replied dryly, "If you could just fuck off, though, that would be even better."

"We need to talk about Severus."

I finally turned to face her, "We have nothing to talk about when it comes to Severus."

She looked as imposing as ever, not a hair out of place as she regarded me with a cold stare.

"I beg to differ. What you're doing.. this relationship between the two of you- If you care about him at all, you'll end it. For good."