The Degenerate (Mythics Book One)

13

Rafe turned back, slowing his pace to line up with ours. His hair had come free from its gelled obedience, tousled into an artfully messy arrangement. The strands seemed to glow a blood-red in the darkness, fading from dry to fresh to the color of cherries just begging to be picked. Everything about him was impeccable for the odd timing, and it almost made me feel like the rest of us were hobos in comparison.

"How are you feeling?" he asked me, watching me carefully.

"I'm fine," I replied. "I just need to know how much farther we have to go."

Rafe eyed me for a moment, like I was hiding something, then said, "We're about there. Just a few more minutes. There, we'll be able to have you both checked out in the infirmary."

Anxious to keep a conversation going, I stopped him from heading back in front of us. "What exactly is the Sanctuary?"

A beatific smile lit up his features and he humored me, saying, "It's a place where anyone and everyone can find a place to hide, for however long it's needed. The world is harsh, so I scraped together some things, some supplies, and I opened for business." Suddenly, his face grew serious. "You should know now, both supernaturals and humans are welcome there. I say this only because I hate banning people for unwanted discrimination."

The way he spoke had me wondering just how big this Sanctuary was. How much work went into keeping such a wonderful place running smoothly? I found myself looking at Rafe through a slightly different light, a respectful and kind of awed sensation. "It sounds like a beautiful place."

"It is," he agreed, a little off-put by my openly admiring gaze. He glanced away, and it was then I realized that my base nature might be affecting the mood. I had to be careful with every positive emotion in relation to a boy, my powers amplifying things in all the wrong ways. I tried to rein back my emotions. I was all too aware of how uncomfortable it made Rafe feel and that was truly the last thing I wanted.

Vaguely, I could sense that he had feelings for someone else. Something tinted those emotions, however, in a startling shade of darkness. I couldn't tell what, but it made me sad just thinking about it.

Rafe turned an understanding grin toward me, and I wondered if he'd ever encountered a siren before. "Now, forgive me if I'm being nosy, but I'm a little curious about how you two managed to get caught by NME so easily."

"No, it's... wait, NME?" I raised my brows. "That wasn't NME. That was the Department of Defense."

Rafe shrugged. "It's all one and the same these days. Something about a binding deal that went on a couple months ago. I'm just surprised you haven't heard of it yet."

An oily black pit opened up in my stomach. "I am too."

Theo seemed to materialize beside me. "But we're safe at the Sanctuary, right?" he asked tersely. It was almost as if he were pushing the limits on something, purposefully trying to press buttons.

I frowned at him.

"As safe as we can be," Rafe said, leveling a look at Theo. "Nowhere is completely safe. You should know that better than anyone."

Theo's stare hardened, then flickered uncertainly. He glanced away. His posture was rigid, but his voice was genuine when he said, "Forgive me. I haven't been feeling like myself. Must've...must've been a side effect, maybe?"

Concern pressed down on my shoulders as I watched him stride ahead of us, a carefully measured distance between people. He wanted to be alone. I knew that. Still, I ached to be with him, to help him feel better. Theo normally kept such a tight leash on his emotions and instincts. It was odd to see him acting differently, even if the differences were relatively small.

"They gave him an amplifier," came Rafe's voice, grave and slightly concerned himself. I turned to him. "I've seen things like this before. It's usually a small injection that kicks in rather fast. Makes sense that they wanted to amplify his healing and immortality and wake him up sooner. It looks like it could be ratcheting up...other...things too."

Screw it. "Theo," I called, jogging up to him. His eyes flashed when he turned to look at me.

"What are you doing?" he asked softly.

"Making sure you're alright."

He tilted his head, sighing. "I'm not."

"I know. Rafe told me about the amplifiers you were given. He said---"

Theo growled. Actually growled. I looked at him in astonishment. "I don't care what he says." He seemed like a tightly coiled spring, pent up energy with nowhere to go. "There's no way that guy's just going to take us in without stealing from us in return. He wants to use us for something, I bet. We have hefty bounties on our backs. Maybe he wants money." Luminous eyes met mine. "And if he so much as touches a hair on your head, I'll escort him to Hell myself."

His words pierced straight through me. I stared at him, jaw slightly agape. The words held real power, and I had no doubt that in that moment he would do everything he could to abide by them. Hearing him say something so strongly, so aggressive, made my heart race. From nervousness or not, I wasn't quite sure. We had stopped walking, the others in our makeshift group now several feet ahead of us. "You're not making any sense right now," I told him, trying to keep my voice stern.

"I think I'm making perfect sense." His voice was low and sultry and it sent tingles down my back. I'd never heard him like this before, with such intent. Suddenly we were facing each other, a mere handwidth apart. Every inch of me seemed to spark like a livewire.

I looked at him. Theo's eyes were dark, the pupils swallowing the irises. His lips--- I couldn't stop staring at his lips. They were full and sensuous and I wanted them, I wanted them on mine.

He pressed his forehead to mine, then shifted, letting his lips drift over my cheek, my jaw, never kissing, only breathing me in. I swear I could have melted right there. I could have lived among the stars, because nothing until this moment had ever felt so right. So...natural.

Theo stopped moving, seeming to hesitate. Then he looked at me.

I stared right back, flushed and breathing much too fast. Do it, I wanted to say.

But I...knew. I knew this wasn't him. He was sick. He was drugged. I couldn't...I could never...

I closed my eyes as his lips neared mine. "Stop," I whispered.

He froze.

I pressed both hands against his chest, where I felt his heart beating even faster than mine. I opened my eyes and met his, which watched me with a somewhat defeated look. "Stop now," I said quietly.

All at once, his entire demeanor seemed to shift from brash and bold to normal. To my Theo, with his careful control and confidence. He snapped out of whatever hold he was in and seemed to come to his senses, staring at my mouth, my eyes, my hands on his chest. He took a few staggered steps back, cursing. Running a hand through his hair and leaving it sticking up wildly, he looked at me.

"I---I didn't mean..." Theo's voice trailed off as he gazed at me hopelessly. He rubbed both hands down his face, a broken sound escaping him. "I'm so sorry."

I neared him slowly and he tensed. Without hesitation, I wrapped my arms around him and buried my face in his chest. He shuddered and held me, his chin resting on my head.

"Everything's okay," I told him.

I felt Theo shake his head.

"It wasn't bad," I said. "You didn't do anything wrong."

"It's not just what I did. It's what I could have done." Loathing and self-disgust coated his words.

"But you didn't!" I burst out. "If I'm not allowed to hate myself, then you're not either," I added, only half joking.

Theo didn't say anything more. We both steadied ourselves, then continued walking before the rest of the group could get too far. I knew this little issue would weigh on him for a long time, and I wished there was something I could do about it. But there wasn't, not really. Sometimes people could only feel better by choosing to.