Wicked Things We Crave

Chapter Twelve

Leaving her apartment and closing the door behind him almost felt like the end of an era; an end to his life with her in it, which would cease being a real life at all if it turned out to be true. He'd felt physically ill on the drive, enough where Jonah had to pull over to vomit. He'd left before he had to watch her truly break, and before she could see it in himself.

Jonah didn't go straight home. Instead, he took the ten-minute drive over to Scott's house. It wouldn't be to tell him he fucked Scott's daughter last night, but there was something they needed to talk about. Jonah only hoped he could look his former best friend in the eye when the time came.

He'd fucked up astronomically. Everything that was happening within him and soon to him was a recipe of his own making. He'd watched her the entire night at the bar, even when he looked occupied with other things. Jonah had watched her smile, watched as her hips swayed to the beat of whatever song Anya was performing, watched her eyes sparkle in conversation with some girls he guessed she knew. Then he watched that guy hit on her, seeming to get further than the guys who'd come before him.

Looking back, it was probably that moment when the jealousy in the pit of his stomach and the anger burning in his brain told him the bitter truth. Jonah didn't just want guys to stay the hell away from his goddaughter. He wanted her for himself.

It would have been so easy to blame it on the way they danced. The way her fingers felt against his arm, the way her small hand felt beneath his own, the way her breath heated his chest, the smell of skin and hair. Unfortunately, he'd felt this way once before.

Jonah had surprised her after she left for college, sneaking his way into the building and knocking on the door of her dorm room. When she opened it, the biggest smile he'd ever seen her wear graced her face, and she leapt into her arms, causing him to drop the flowers he'd gotten her and petals to spread across the ground. She'd kissed his face four times between words of pure joy, never touching his lips. He remembered for a brief second wishing she had made that mistake.

He pushed those feelings down into the deepest, darkest corners of his mind, and last night every one of them lit up like the Fourth of July.

Jonah didn't even remember knocking when the front door flew open, Scott on the other side with an unknowing grin splashed across his face. He'd grown his beard out a little since they last saw one another, but besides that, nothing appeared to change.

He pulled him into a one-armed hug before pushing him inside the house. "When the hell did you get back into town?"

"Late Friday night," Jonah admitted, keeping his eyes focused on the wall just above Scott's head. "Slept most of Saturday, then celebrated Astrid's birthday with her last night."

Scott hung his head and shook it, his smile remaining on his face. "Of course she knew you were in town before I did. Looks like you had a rough night after, huh?"

Jonah hadn't really looked at himself in the mirror that morning. There was likely bed head. The subtle smell of sex he hoped Scott hadn't picked up on. He was slightly paler than usual. And he still felt chunks of vomit in his mouth.

"Yeah, I'm gonna need some coffee and mouthwash, I think."

Scott let out a hearty chuckle. "Drinking isn't as easy as it used to be, is it? I remember when we used to go out and barely have a hangover the next morning. Now I drink three beers and have a headache for hours the next day.

"Coffee's on. You know where the bathroom is, and there should be an unwrapped toothbrush in the left cabinet."

Jonah nodded and dropped his gaze down to the floor. "Thanks."