Wicked Things We Crave

Chapter Seventeen

Her father plopped down on the couch where customers sat and watched TV while their vehicle was being repaired. The customer vehicles they were working on, one went out to breakfast down the street while the other would pick it up after work. It was just her and her father in the room at the moment, heavy rock playing in the background from the garage area.

"You saw Jonah on Saturday, didn't you?" Her father's voice came out like worn leather; smooth and faded. His vibrant brown eyes looked as if they hadn't slept for days, although Jonah had only spoken to him the day before.

Astrid knew the only way to answer her dad's question was honestly, seeing as most others she'd be answering until they came clean would be saturated in lies.

"I did. We went to the fair, then went to hear Anya's band play after."

Her dad nodded, the minor act using up the little energy he had. "Did he seem off to you or say anything about what's going on with him?"

The best lies were ones which held some measure of truth. They were easier to remember and held a believability. The liar had a better chance of selling their deception. "He seemed like he was having a good time," Astrid answered, trying to hold back the cringe the words had built within her. "Why? What's up?"

"He showed up at the house yesterday. Wants to sign over the business. Told me he's moving, but wouldn't tell me why."

Astrid parted her lips, trying her best to look surprised. "He didn't say anything about that on Saturday." Measure of truth. He'd told her Sunday, after talking to her father about it. She knew what was going on with him, but Jonah had his reasons for not speaking up about those and like hell she'd tell her father what those reasons were. "He didn't say why?"

Her dad shook his head. "No, and it's bugging the crap out of me. Jonah's always talked to me about shit. We lived together for a while, started two businesses together. Hell, we raised a damn kid together, in a heterosexual, masculine way," he added in for good measure. "He says he'll tell me before he goes, but not knowing what's going on with him... it's gonna drive me crazy, Astrid. What if it's drugs or gambling again?"

Her surprise was no longer feigned. "I'm sorry, what?"

"It was years ago, honey. You were only three. After his sister died, Jonah struggled. Started acting out. Got kicked out of college for running a gambling ring. Did damn well for himself too. We didn't find out about the drugs until later.

"Like I said, it was a long time ago, and he's been clean ever since from what I can tell. If it's that, none of us are abandoning him. We'll check his ass back in to rehab and be there waiting for him when he gets out. He'll need a support system."

While Astrid wasn't sure what to make of this new revelation, she also knew whatever problems Jonah had in the past remained in the past. He may have never told her about the dark period in his life, but Astrid assumed it was because he'd moved on from it all and didn't want to relive the pain. As her father said, she was a child when this all happened. There was no reason to tell her then, just as there was no reason to tell her years after the fact.

Jonah had told her he didn't ask for any money for the business, which she thought was a somewhat stupid move considering how much he'd put into it. Unfortunately, her father hadn't mentioned that part to her, so Astrid wasn't supposed to know. If it was brought up, she'd be able to point out that if it was a gambling or drunk problem, he'd probably be desperate for any compensation for the business.

"He seemed happy on Saturday, and it didn't appear drug induced. If he carried that weight around, I would have felt it," Astrid went with instead.

Her dad sat up, straightening his stance to look her square in the eyes. "Well, he was carrying around that weight on Sunday, so either something happened after he dropped you off, or he's trying to protect you from what's going on. I don't know about you, but my money's on the latter."

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Jonah didn't get into work until one in the afternoon. By then, there was a dark cloud above the garage, bringing an uncomfortable silence after the news had made its way to every employee. Her dad had already left by then, going home to work on a game plan on how best to help Jonah through his possible relapse.

When he walked into the office, Jonah closed the door behind him before leaning against it. "Everyone in there just looked at me like I was dying."

"I haven't heard that theory yet," Astrid told him. She'd heard plenty of other's, but none that made much sense.

"Which one's have you heard?" Jonah asked curiously.

It was the best in she'd ever get. "My dad had a couple."

When her eyes remained on his for a full thirty seconds without further explanation, Jonah's lips pinched together and he gave a slow nod, then walked over to the couch to sit in the same spot her dad had sat in. "I'd ask for three guesses, but something tells me I'll only need one."

"It's okay that you never told me. I get it," Astrid reassured him.

A slow smile formed on his lips, but seemed to disappear at the same pace. "My sister died in a car accident when she was nineteen. I was about to start my last year of college. After the accident, I lost my shit. I was self-destructing. I knew this, but I didn't care. When the school found out I was running a poker game in the library after hours, they expelled me. Lasted about a week at their house until I moved in with you guys.

"Scott could see I was unraveling, but figured it was just grief and booze. Your mom and him went out one night for a date, and I was supposed to watch you. She wanted your grandparents to do it, but I said I could handle it. When they got back, you were crying in your crib and I was lying on the floor overdosing on coke.

"Your dad checked me into rehab the next day. Told me if I didn't go, our friendship was done forever and I'd never be able to see my goddaughter again. After I got out, it took about six months for our friendship to feel normal, and a little over a year before they allowed me to be alone with you again."

Astrid wasn't sure what she was thinking when her father mentioned a drug problem. She assumed something more mild than cocaine. It felt like her father had downplayed the entire story, realistically, but she assumed he did so in a way to protect her from the reality of Jonah's past. "So my dad saved your life."

It was meant to be just a statement, but the gravity of it became so much deeper once the words escaped her lips.

"And now I'm about to stab him in the back and rip out his heart."

They'd been through so much, Jonah and her father. Much more than she ever imagined. They'd been knocked down together, challenged, and come up victorious, and they'd done so because of the power of a friendship that would come to an end.

"You don't have to do either of those things," Astrid told him. "You can still choose him and you and I could just go back to being friends."

The small laugh that sounded from Jonah's lips wasn't a genuine one, nor was the smile that accompanied it. "I already have, sweetheart. Just because he hasn't felt the physical or emotional pain of it yet doesn't mean it hasn't happened. And I have no intention of choosing anyone but you with this or anything else. Everything I've done for the last twenty years, getting clean, staying clean, sticking around this town even when I felt it was suffocating me, has all been to keep you in my life. I just didn't understand why."