Change Your Ticket

I think it's called flirting

Harry's POV

"So you're from Bradford?", I can hear Louis asking.
"Correct", a sort of already familiar voice replies.
"And what have you guys been up to so far? Harry, who is the one sleeping", Lou talks further and I bet that right now he is pointing at me, "has already been here once so it's not like he doesn't know any places. However, he was rather little and visited with his family, which you know... it's different from what you'll do with friends."
Great, Lou! Just tell them all about my freaking personal life.
I don't even know why I am already so worked up. Maybe it's a little hangover? Or maybe it's just that stupid good sounding Bradford voice already getting on my nerves .
"Maybe we can hang out together?", a strange voice suggested, "Zayn, here already told me you guys had a bit of fun yesterday. But we could still check out some clubs."
Don't say yes. Don't say yes, Lou!
"Sure, that sounds good. I'll let the guys know. Meet you back here at eight?", Louis says cheerfully and I internally groan out loud. Why does he always have to make friends with anyone?
Not wanting to face Zayn whoever is also with him and Louis, I further pretend to be asleep until I can hear the clicking of the door, signalizing that they have left.

"What's up with you, Haz?", Lou gently nudges my side, his voice laced with a bit of concern. It's not like I deliberately have tried to be in bad mood, it just kind of happened. I can't just tell him though that I am somewhat drawn to Zayn. I mean, I love my friends, I really do, but if it comes to my crushes I rarely tell them. Just because maybe, I like to keep it secret. And if I told them, I'd be mocked about it even though my feelings might be real - so nope I don't like that option. On the other hand, not telling is also driving me insane because I can't give them a valid reason for my distant behavior.

The three of us have been walking through the little island Saint-Louis, stopping at a crêperie, buying a few souvenirs and ending with staring at the now not that beautiful Notre-Dame, since the church is obviously under construction.
All of this time, I haven't been able to stop thinking about these captivating brown eyes and that raspy voice. It's like they are haunting me, striving to consume mind. For whatever reason, I just really want Zayn to like me. Not that I have been acting like that in front of him. The opposite, actually. And having figured that out now, I just feel hopeless, because someone like Zayn doesn't care about someone like me. Heck, he didn't even look at me when I had greeted him. Do I really look that ugly?

Okay, now I am being over dramatic. It's not like I have the lowest self-esteem. I just once in my life want , someone that I think is attractive, to like me back. That couldn't be too much to ask, now, could it? And maybe I also kind of want Zayn to be that someone. Yes, I have had some crushed in school, but none of them got me thinking about their eye color because I am merely eating a cake.
None of them had had such a beautiful husky voice. None of them had had such golden brown skin. And not of them had had such a beautiful name as he does.
Z A Y N. I wish I could savor that name. I wish I could...
"Harold!", Niall's shrill voice disrupts my insane thoughts.
"What?", I involuntarily snap at him.
"Are you okay? Was your crêpe not good, or what?", Niall asks sarcastically and because he always makes stupid remarks about food, I have to chuckle bit.
"No, Nialler. The crêpe was très bien", I retort, "I am just being stupid. I'm sorry. I don't want my bad mood to drag your good ones down."
"Well, Harold. If you'd tell us about the cause of your apparent bad mood, we might be able to fix it", Lou wiggles suggestively with his eyebrows and in this moment I'm so thankful for having such dorks as my best mates.
"It's just...", I'm fighting in my head if I should tell them until I eventually give in, "it's Zayn."
"Zayn?", Niall repeats questioning, "the guy from the hostel?"
"Yeah. I don't know how to put it. I somewhat can't stand him", I continue to explain, "but I also kind of want him, you know?"
Now, that I have said that I feel totally embarrassed Bashfully, I hide my face by covering it up with my hands.
"You want him? Like you want to fuck him or him to fuck your? Or like...", at that point I slap Louis on his arm, not being able to listen to him anymore.
"Forget it. Forget that I mentioned anything", I sigh annoyed, just wanting to forget about Zayn in general.
"But it just got interesting", Niall protests. However, when I look at them, they finally stop nagging.
"Just one more thing though...", Lou adds, "what are you gonna do about it? Are you gonna do something?"
"Of course not!", I exclaim disbelieving, "I would never even see him again even if we had a thing. Besides, have you seen him? How can I compete with that?"
"Jeez, Harry. I didn't think you were that outraged about liking him", Louis says defeating, "however you shouldn't worry about your looks. You know that you are beautiful."
Even though I know that Lou is just trying to cheer me up, it just doesn't really help. I don't care if he thinks I am pretty. I don't care when my mom calls me beautiful. They just don't count. I want to be called beautiful by, by, by someone like Zayn.
"Let's just switch topics. I don't know what I'm gonna do. That tiny crush is most likely gone within the next to days and as for tonight, I am just gonna avoid him."
"Okay then", they both say, finally dropping the subject. Although I have to admit, it does feel a bit better to having said it out loud. And maybe, I know that I just behaved a bit like a brat, but I can still apologize later, knowing they won't be mad
about my little mood swings.

At eight o' clock, we are back at the hostel and already have taken showers and put on some clean clothes. I might have said I will kind of ignore Zayn today but that doesn't mean I don't want to look good. That is why I change back into my black skinny jeans from the day before, combine them with a loose flowered dress shirt and my brown Chelsea boots, comb my messy mop of curls, put on some Gucci perfume and a few of my rings.
Feeling a lot better, I get out of the bathroom again to be the center of attention, since my best mates, Zayn and the stranger all suddenly look at me.
"Hey", I shyly mumble, all confidence gone again. Damn you, Zayn. I don't even know you and you still mess me up.
"Hey Harry", Zayn slyly greets me and I can't say that I don't feel a tad irritated. Why is he even paying attention to me?
"This is my best mate Liam", he motions to the other guy and I smile briefly at him.
"Now that the last introduction has been made, let's go", Loui zealously says, leading the group out of the hostel.
"You look good, Harry", Zayn's voice is suddenly whispering into my ear, sending shivers down my spine.
"Thank you", I almost say back questioning, because why is he suddenly being nice?
If Louis and Niall have had their hands in this, I'm gonna kill them.
"In fact you look beautiful", he speaks further, his one hand now gently placed on my back, as if he wanted to guide me through the crowded city. The rest of the lads are walking a bit ahead of us, what I just have come to realize.
And I am completely overwhelmed, not having a clue of what to do. Only knowing, that Zayn's hand on my back is now moving up to my side, sneaking under my dress shirt. Skin presses on skin. His fingers are tenderly drawing circles and all I can feel is his touch and my erratic breathing.
"Zayn", I somehow manage to speak, "what are you doing?"
"I think it's called flirting", he retorts bluntly, a hint of sass shaping his tone.
"You don't like me, though", I rather state than ask, my heart still beating wild in my chest.
"How would you know?", he questions back,we barely know each other."
"Correct. And I think we should keep it that way", I bravely remark.
"You don't want to though", is all he cockily states, "I know you like me, Harreh."
"I just said I want to", I hiss quietly, feeling the blood rushing to my cheeks and my hands becoming sweaty.
"Then why...", he hotly breathes against my neck, "why have you still not pushed my hand away?"
That is the moment I am realizing that Zayn's soft hand is still placed on my bare skin.
Quickly, I push it away. He only lets out a light chuckle, seeming to be amused by my contradicting behavior.
"Just, stay away", I weakly demand, then hurrying up to walk beside Niall, who is at the moment occupied with munching a big of chips on the way to a restaurant. Not very clever if you ask me, but it's not like I care about that right now. I just need to get away from Zayn.

Q: What do you think of Zayn so far?