Change Your Ticket

A rebound?

Harry's POV

"So?"

"So?", I repeat him, to which he gives me a fond smile. We are sitting on a bench close to the Seine. A light breeze is tickling our faces, striving through our hair, and the sun rays are falling right on Zayn's face, illuminating it in a golden light. There are a few inches space between us so that if stranger were to sit down with us, they could. And as much as I'd like to scoot closer to Zayn, we both know that we'll get done talking way sooner when we keep a bit of a distance. Although, I do have a really hard time right now, restraining myself from reaching out for his delicate brown hands with mine.

"I'm sorry", I am the first to speak again, taking up all my courage "I shouldn't have run out this morning like I did. And I also shouldn't have acted all jealous back in that club a few days ago. I had absolutely no right to do that. So, yeah. I just wanted you to know that."

"Why did you run out this morning?", is all he says, his eyes oozing of curiosity and maybe hope. Hope for what? I should rather focus on what I'm gonna say now rather than trying to read him. Here it goes.

"I tried to avoid you. This is why Niall, Louis and I left so quickly", I start explaining, knowing that I also have to go further into detail, "Louis thought that I'm developing feelings for you and that it would make me miserable in the end." Gosh, this is so uncomfortable to talk about. I just really want this to be over already.

"Why would it end with you being miserable", he questions further and my cheeks are definitely reddened by now.

"Because...", I'm stumbling on my words, "because you wouldn't feel the same about me and to you it would all have just been a bit of fun during Spring Break, while I would have gotten up my hopes of maybe the two of us becoming more. See, you probably have had these flings, but you're my first...like...you know what I mean", I can't help but stop speaking, because this is becoming more and more intimate, but also embarrassing for me.

"And maybe, that is why I have caught feelings so quickly. Or it's just you. Or it's a mixture of both...all, Lou and I thought was that it's probably better to end it...whatever this is", I am pointing in between of us with my finger, "before it really starts. Or fails."

Zayn's eyebrows are furrowed. He is now resting his index finger on his upper lip, seeming to be musing and deep in thought.

"Thank you for sharing that with me", he finally starts speaking, "I gotta be honest with you. In the beginning this is what I had planned. To just have a bit of fun with you." His words sting, but his expression is filled with guilt and maybe, that means that he might has changed his original plan. Maybe, he accidentally caught feelings as well?

"You see...", he is placing his hands on mine now, his big honey colored eyes staring right at mine, "this trip wasn't actually meant for Liam and I, but for my fiancé Perrie and I." Perrie. That was the name he has mumbled in the morning. Now I understand.

"Oh", is my not so thorough reply.

"Well, ex-fiancé. But Liam still insisted that I should at least have a bit of fun after I just found out that Perrie had cheated on me with another bloke. And that's all I was looking for. Fun and a distraction", he admits. Even though, I am glad that he is being honest, I don't know if I want to listen to him anymore. Fun and a distraction I repeat the words involuntarily in my head. So, Louis has been right to warn me about Zayn. Why do I always have to fall for the wrong people. He is obviously still in love with his ex, why else would he have mumbled her name in his sleep? Mentally groaning, I retract my fingers from his, needing a bit of distance again. As soon as I do this, Zayn's expression drops a bit, I can see that he is somewhat disappointed, but what else am I supposed to do?

"You're not just that, Harreh", he sighs, sounding aggravated, almost frantic, "fun and a distraction, I mean."

"Then what am I to you?", I bravely question, adding pettily, "a rebound?"

"God. No!", Zayn practically yells at me, "for fuck's sake. You're not just a rebound either."
"Okay", I retort, needing to calm down again, although I don't know what has suddenly worked me up in the first place.
"Do you know that you have basically been on my mind since the day you introduced yourself to me? That wasn't even the case when her and I met back then", he says softly, reaching out for my hand again and I let him.

"What are you saying?", I need him to clarify what I'm hoping for.

"I am saying that you are not alone", he gives me a reassuring smile, his hand squeezing mine lightly at the same time, "I couldn't escape your spell, Curly." My expression must still look confused and unsure, because the next thing he says is: "God, damn it. I like you, Harreh. I want this to be more too."