The Past Wont Change But You Will

The Beginning

NO! NO! NO! STOP PLEASE STOP! That's what i would scream everytime it would happen. It never stopped not once. I know you're wondering what the hell i'm talking about and dont worry we will get to that part. Hi my name is Noel i'm a 17 year old girl in high school. I'm from the capital of the great amazing country Sweden(capital; Stockholm)!! Now lets get back to things. When i was younger life wasn't so easy as it seemed. I would not be known as your typical teeneager i'm very much so DIFFERENT! I've never really stood out in the crowd, because it just wasn't my type of thing. I grew up in what we call "lägenhet" which just means apartment. I have always lived in one, not once have i lived in a house. What can i say, we just never had money. Our home had one bedroom, one bath. Guess how many people lived there? Nope not 1 or 2, but 5 people. These people consisted of me, my brother(Elliot), my sister(Erin), my mom(Beth), and my step dad(Tage). We were kinda a big family i guess, but do you really think we were happy? HELL NO! I couldn't stand any of it i just couldn't.

How could anyone deal with the fact living in a one bedroom apartment. Even though it was tough it was still home to me. It meant something, their were memories there, yes bad and good. I wont be able to hide from them, but im hoping to get ride of all bad things that have happened. Everyday there is someone out there that get raped, molested, ect. I for one happen to be one of those people. It all started when i was around five years old. It was someone really close to me, but i'm sure you will never be able to guess jsut who it was. No it was not my step dad if that's what you're thinking. So many people always think it's the father or step father, well in this case it wasn't. It was someone i thought i could trust with anything and everything. It was my fucking sister. Let me guess, you are wondering what the fuck thats's so nasty how could she. Well i was thinking the samething everyday. Erin had finally left me alone when i was 11 years old.

Erin was the oldest out of all of us she is 6 years older than me. Sometimes i still ask myself why did she do such a thing to me, and does she regret what she did. I've never been striaght up with her about things, and as to why she did it. She would just deny all of what she did anyway so she wouldn't seem like the bad person. There is so much to do with my sister and how she is. She's not always the best, but sometimes she can be.

A lot of what has happened to me when i was younger has affected me in so many damn ways. I can say i am a lot stronger than i use to be.