the bucket list | lrh

47 - running away

Valentine tried not to dwell. It was something both her sister and Mary did often, and Valentine wanted to learn from that. She'd spent years trying to figure out how to cope properly, and she was well educated in how to calm herself down after a life altering moment.

Nothing could prepare her for reading her birth certificate for the first time, though. Nothing could ever prepare anyone for that moment. The sinking feeling as you realize you'd been lied to by your closest peers and for years at that, it will scar you no matter what the circumstances.

So despite having been through plenty of difficult situations and surviving just fine, this time Valentine felt defeated. She didn't know quite what to do or think as she huddled for warmth with Luke in Kellianne's old shed. She didn't know how to process what she'd discovered, she just didn't know what to do with her thoughts at all.

Despite building up her tolerance to grave despair, Valentine felt lost at sea then.

Luke acted as the door Jack helped Rose onto, the one that saved her life in the end of Titanic. He was that salvation for her, and even more. The two leaned on each other with such an understanding and caring nature, it would've made Scout wonder when his little girl had grown up. It seemed to be sometime overnight after she met Luke, that's for sure.

"It's just... I didn't even know my mom. Why hide it from me when I didn't know her in the first place? And did Adeline know? God, if Adeline didn't know either..." Valentine trailed off, thinking aloud to Luke who genuinely seemed interested by her restless theories. He even followed along with little hums and nods, paying close attention to the way her lips moved as she spoke. He was mesmerized by her, as always.

"Maybe you should talk to your dad about it, whenever you're ready," Luke suggested, admittedly out of sympathy for the pain on Scout's face when Kellianne told Mary. He didn't want the poor old man to hurt, but he still prioritized how Valentine felt. So when she shook her head slowly, he didn't push her nor did he expect more from her.

"I don't think I'll be ready for a while..." she breathed out, leaning her weight back on the pile of wood behind her.

"That's fine," he breathed out, rubbing gentle circles into her leg where his hand was resting. It was a simple gesture, but it did wonders to Valentine. Somehow, with his hands on her, everything was a little easier. He was like a drug to her, helping her cope through the losses of her normality.

And he knew that. Which is exactly why he grinned as the girl suggested leaving town for a little while. She liked the way she felt when she was away the last time, and she wanted to feel it again.

Meanwhile, Mary was struggling to form anything coherent to her mother. The two had been talking, and Kellianne had been explaining, but Mary just didn't seem to get it. She couldn't comprehend how her mother could lie to her for so long, and how on earth she had managed to wrong Valentine so drastically.

"I'm sorry I just... I don't get it, mom. You realize she's going to be scarred?" She had given up on having that signature attitude in her words long ago, not having the energy within her to successfully do so. She was exhausted by the news, it made her feel like she needed to take a nap.

"Yes... I understand that, but I didn't know what else to do," Kellianne repeated for the fiftieth time that night, or at least it felt like that to Mary. She was tired of the excuses, and she just wanted to go upstairs and lock herself in her room.

"I'm just... I'm gonna go," she mumbled, standing from where she was seated at the dining table. Scout's eyes looked panicked from the chair across from her, but neither adults said anything as Mary stalked up to her room. They didn't bother running after her, and rather just let her retreat for some alone time.