Red Princess

49. On the brink of death

Kaidon

"Kai.."

There she is. Alice.

"Look at me."

I can't.

"Why?"

I betrayed you.

"No, you didn't."

For that one split second, I knew that I wasn't under her control, under the influence of her powers. For that one tiny moment, I really wanted to kiss her, Ariel, and I did.

"I am happy that you did. You are moving on."

I felt a soft breeze. Her frail hands curled around my waist as she rested her cheek against my back.

I know this isn't real, she isn't there, that she is just a figment of my imagination. Yet, I can't let go of it. I often drown myself at nights to the point of insanity, and it is only then that my brain creates the illusion of her presence.

Sometimes I really wished my mind could create a more selfish image of hers. One that would scold me, shout at me for betraying her, and getting her killed.

It never happened.

Even now, the beautiful person that she was, her memory kept telling me to move on.

"She is my brother's girl."

"Did that stop him from falling in love with yours?" Her soft voice echoed in my mind. "It's a start. You don't need to chase her. But once you let her in, you will let me go."

"She isn't you. She is... she is like.. Seydon. That sounds so horrible."

She giggled. I was relieved that my unconscious mind still remembered the musical sound of her laughter.

"Perhaps, that is what she needed to become to survive." She said as she gently caressed my arm. "Perhaps if I were more like her, I could have lived. Tell me the real reason, Kai. Why are you pushing her away?"

Why am I pushing her away?

I came across countless girls in the last five years. I never made a conscious effort to keep my distance, to antagonise myself in their eyes.

If I truly believe it isn't you, why am I so hesitant?
.
.
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Because she is exactly like you... and I am afraid of falling in love again.

She vanished. The effect slowly started fading away as I drank less, and gradually became sober. I sauntered around the room, and my feet decided to pull me towards the open window to enjoy the full moon of the night. I rested my elbows on the window sill, admiring the night sky. My eyes lazily dropped down to where the swimming pool was.

I can't believe he is my cousin. He's such a materialistic mad man.

I watched a figure float in the middle of the water, hands spread wide in perfect balance. I narrowed my eyes, and I noticed the red of her hair, spread brilliantly like a blazing fire burning over the surface, the moonlight shimmering over her silky curls.

I kept gazing at her out of curiosity. She was wild that morning. I knew that the Fords were known for their swordsmanship - how ironic to describe a girl with that term, perhaps 'swordswomanship' - but she was exceptional. Her brother was equally talented.

Fords were the honourable ones—the warriors who would look the enemy in the eye and give them a fair chance to retaliate. Crosses were the smart ones. I wouldn't call them dishonourable because they took the efficient way out of crises. They wouldn't hesitate to resort to underhanded ways to settle disputes and to get rid of an enemy. This was what always drove a wedge between our two families.