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It's been 5 years since your mother passed away in a tragic accident. She was protecting the 7-year-old you from getting hit by a car when you were trying to get your (f/c) ball which rolled to the middle of a road. You witnessed the scene with your own pair of eyes. Blood, splattering, your mother holding you tight, people screaming loudly telling each other to call an ambulance. They brought you and your mother to the hospital but only you survived.

Then, the funeral. It felt as if time stood still; like reality was just an endless nightmare and you were trying everything to claw your way out. Each person takes a turn paying respect for the dead. Your father, his colleagues, your mother's friends. Everyone. But you couldn't cry then. You were too stupefied. You had no idea what was happening. You didn't know that it means you would no longer see her. You would no longer feel her gentle touch, hearing her scolding you, teaching you. You wouldn't be able to see her smiling at you again and telling you that it is going to be okay.

The night after the funeral, your father, Levi, comforted you. He pulled you into a tight embrace, muttering it was not your fault. Only then the two of you cried your hearts out. He kept muttering it would be okay, you two will be okay. But, he lied.

Your father was the closest to you than anyone before. He wasn't as good as your mother when it comes to showing affection, but he always tried his best to make you know he loves you in his own way. But now, you know it is hard for him to even just take a look at you.

Your once warm and happy home is now covered in silence and loneliness. Your father is rarely seen home, he hired someone else to take care of you and to clean the house too. He drowned himself in his jobs. He would only be home to take new and clean clothes, drop the dirty one, gives you money, and go back to his work.

Truthfully, you are capable of living alone, except that you are still too young to have a job now and a part of you are worried about leaving your father. No matter how much he is away from home, you think that leaving would only make him miserable.

You understand why he changed. He lost the love of his life and seeing you who resembled your mother greatly with your (e/c) eyes and (h/c) hair is probably reminding him of her even more. But, deep down, you are missing the old him. Even just for once, you wanted him to give you a hug.

So you keep it all to yourself. No one else but you get hurt that way.

[ Attack Junior High ]

"Hey, (Y/n)!" Armin puts his bento on your table and took a nearby chair to sit. He gave you his usual nice and bright smile, making you smile back at him.

"Hey, Armin. What's your bento for today?" You asked, glancing at his blue bento box.

"Oh, nothing special just some dinner leftover my grandpa made for me." Armin lets out a soft chuckle. "What about you? I don't see any bento with you?"

"Oh, uh..." You reached for your bag and then tried to look for something to eat. Around a minute later, you found a (favorite bread). "I guess, just bread."

"Bread again?" Mikasa and Eren suddenly came from behind. "(Y/n) trade with me." Mikasa pats your shoulder and gave you her bento but you politely declined her kind offer.

"It's alright, Mikasa." You smiled, reassuring the black-haired girl. But Mikasa didn't buy that, she asked you to open your mouth and she shoved a warm gyoza into your mouth.

"Eat. You're getting thinner." Mikasa showed you her frown then she ate your bread. You can only smile at her and mutter a soft thank you.

"I heard your dad just solved another complicated murder case, (Y/n)! That is so amazing!" Eren who had been your father fanboy since he was little beamed at you. He knew your father is one of the top investigators in the country.

"Haha, thank you!" You forced a smile then averted your gaze. Looking down at Mikasa's lunchbox.

"....(Y/n)..." Eren, Mikasa, and Armin are staring at you worriedly. But you quickly put a genuine smile and told them to continue eating once you noticed their worried stare.

After school ended, you were about to go back to your house when suddenly Sasha and Connie invited you to grab something to eat first. You agreed to join them so you two went to the nearest Mcdonald and ordered something. You three even went to the arcade first, totally forgetting that you have homework you need to submit tomorrow morning.

You invited them to study at your home at first but since it was too late already, they sadly declined the offer and went back to their own homes. In the end, you walked alone to your house from the station. It was already 9 pm, you didn't realize at all because for a moment, you had a fun day with your friends.

"I'm home."

You unlocked the door and stepped inside, taking off your shoes and arranging them neatly. Then you noticed your dad's pair of shoes. You cover your mouth, trying to hide your excitement and quickly ran inside.

"Dad, you're back-" before you can even finish your sentence, your father had already packed his stuff and seemed ready to go back to work, leaving you alone.

"Oh, you're back. I have to go again now. Take care." He didn't even take a look at you nor ask you how have you been. He merely said that and walked away, closing the door again, leaving you and the silence. You didn't move at all. You only stood there, holding your school bag.

You then dropped the bag and took a deep breath before wrapping your arms around yourself, so that each hand touches the opposite upper shoulders. Then you move your hands like the wings of a butterfly, you keep tapping your shoulders.

Once you felt calmer, you went to have a warm bath then do your homework in the living room. You turned the TV on as to not make you feel lonely. But instead of focusing on the homework, you kept wondering why you still bother to get good grades. Whether you do good or bad, he doesn't care.

"No, stop. I shouldn't think of that." You slapped yourself and pinched both of your cheeks. "This is for your own future, not for others. You study for yourself." You kept repeating the words like a mantra to yourself.

You were trying to cheer yourself up until a few droplets of tears started wetting your notebook. You touched your cheeks and felt the tears running down. Acting on your impulse, you took your phone and dialed Eren's number.

"What's up (Y/n) it's so lat-- Woah. Are you... Hey, (Y/n) are you crying? What's wrong? Where are you? What happened? Eren- is that (Y/n)?!"

Eren picked up your call and once he noticed your sobs, he was practically yelling out of worry and it seemed like it woke Mikasa up as well. You heard her footsteps and voice coming in. Knowing how much your friends cared warmth your head and you chuckled lightly.

"...I'm sorry to bother you, Eren, Mikasa. No, I'm not crying it just I was cutting onion because I suddenly became hungry from doing my homework. I actually wanted to ask about some of the exercises for you and Mikasa."

"....Cut out the lies, (Y/n)." Mikasa's words were harsh but her tone was a gentle one. "Yeah... (Y/n)... We've been noticing you looking sad in class sometimes." Eren agreed with his adoptive sister.

"We are friends, aren't we? You can tell us your problems, (Y/n). We relied on you too didn't we? So you have to trust us too!"

Hearing their words, you finally found the courage to tell them. You took a few deep breaths and then you softly whispered, "I'll tell you at school, 'kay? Really, I'm sorry for calling so late. Thank you, you two."

"Don't be. Alright, we will wait for you then. Good night, (Y/n)." Eren said before hanging up the phone.

That night, you went to sleep after you finished your homework and cried yourself out.

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