Crimes and Punishments

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Twenty

'A special form of misery had begun to oppress him of late. There was nothing poignant, nothing acute about it; but there was a feeling of permanence, of eternity about it; it brought a foretaste of hopeless years of this cold leaden misery, a foretaste of an eternity on a square yard of space.'

John walked into the house and heard everyone in one of the living rooms, laughing while he seethed with anger. He went straight up the stairs and marched straight to the room he was staying in. It was at the end of the hallway and a few doors away from Roisin's bedroom.

He slammed the door shut and took off his jumper. Then, he made himself comfortable in the rocking chair. That bloke was in love with her. Of course he was... Who's not interested in Roisin? She was a goddess who was taken advantage of and had her spirit broken by several men...including John himself.

A tiny part of him wished he'd never met her and that way, maybe she would be happy with either Jonas or Senan. But what about Lukas? What would he have done? Would he still have attempted to rape her...or would have he succeeded?

He no longer wanted to think about that. He needed to do something and in anger, he broke the chair. He stood up and yelled as he knocked it over. Meanwhile, Roisin and Senan came back from the graveyard.

'Hey, did you want to join everyone,' Senan asked and Roisin shook her head.

'No, thanks. I'm actually kinda tired from all the crying, so I'm gonna go to bed.' He nodded with a weak smile. 'Senan, I really am sorry about your mam. I didn't—'

'It's okay, Ro. You didn't know she was suffering during your divorce, just like I didn't know what really happened with you and Conor. We both have our misunderstandings and I forgive you. Now, get some rest, because we have a whole day together, remember?'

'Oh, that's tomorrow,' Roisin asked playfully.

'Yeah, I asked your father about having the whole day off and he asked if it was about you. I said yes and he said he was willing to pay me for driving you around as long as I kept you safe.' They both laughed and hugged. 'Well, goodnight, Rosy.' He walked into the living room as she walked upstairs.

She was about to open her door when she heard a crash from the end of the hallway and quickly walked down to check it out. When she got to the door, she knocked and heard a muffled 'come in'. She opened the door to see John and her grandmother's rocking chair destroyed, because of course they would make him say in Rosaleen's bedroom.

'I hope that was an accident,' she said stoically and John turned his head to her.

'Part of it was,' he muttered. She closed the door behind her.

'Only part of it?' She found it hard to believe that her grandmother's rocking chair in her old bedroom wasn't destroyed because he pushed it over out of anger. 'I know you were following Senan and I, but I didn't make a deal out of it and I'll do you a favour by telling my dad you didn't purposely destroy his mother's rocking chair.'

'It was an accident, alright!? I sat in it and as I thought about what you said to him outside, it pissed me off. I didn't realise it was fragile and I accidentally broke it. I stood up and knocked it over in frustration. I hadn't realised what I had done until I calmed down and I really didn't mean to destroy it. How much does it cost?'

'It's an antique, so a lot,' she sighed. 'And exactly what part of the conversation that you were eavesdropping on, made you this angry?' Her face was still stoic and her voice monotonous. He became frustrated at her tone of voice and the emotionless face. Her coldness towards him...even though he knew he deserved it.