Licans deal. Her soul to live

Raw

As the door unlocked and his stench of smoke filled the house I knew tonight would end bad. And instinct told me to run but i knew that woukd be worsr.just don't give him a reason to hit u. Not that I ever did. Beside the dirty counter he wouldn't notice anything wrong right. That was until I heard. We both noticed the t.v on at the same time.
"Shit, stupid stupid xyria, how did you forget." I cursed under my breath. I knew better . I knew I wasn't allowed to watch t.v . i know the consequences. What was wrong with my head today. Did I enjoy the beatings. Did I like crying. I guess in my daze of waking up and rushing to fix dinner i must have forgotten the t.v. but it was gonna cost me.
I could feel the rage radiating off of him as he walked toward the kitchen."how many fukn times have i told you not to touch my shit " he shouted in my face as he pulled back my hair forcing me to look at him. I could smell the alcohol. It wasn't beer thou. It was heavy smug smelling. It was whiskey. His hot breath was against my face while his veiny eyes pierced into mine. His cigarette was in his other hand pointing at me and I was sure he was going to burn me but instead he released my hair. For that brief moment I thought maybe I was fear. He had released me right? This wasn't a dream? This wasn't my imagination. Relief washed over me. Well reality came back as he walked off he did a quick back hand having me stumble against the kitchen counter. I scream escaped me lips." Immm sorry sir" I stammered as he walked towards his dinner.
My face was already swollen from this slap, it made it 10 times worse. He managed to bruise the same cheek twice in the same day. Points for him.
As he sat down he looked at me. I felt it. I felt his eyes on my face, I felt his glare looking at me. Burning holes in me. Looking up we made eye contact.
" you look so much like her he slurred. " it wasn't an insult but more like an accusation. Like a fact he wanted known. He did this a lot. When he was really out of it he always spoke of her. It was his inner demon. He only liked to acknowledge her alone. It was like i wasn't allowed to remember her or mention her just him.
How did I not notice how drunk he was before. " you look so much like gheer, but like you she had no respecd he growled. with a 'd' instead of a 't'. " no respecd for my things or me, I bring the damn money home, you hear me" he was getting more angry by the minute and I knew this was leading up to something bad.
Moms memory never meant an easy night.
He started up another cigarette and just looked at me like he was planning something, he had this sinister look in his eyes. It was giving me the chills. I decided to finish cleaning the kitchen and wait for him to eat. I still didnt know if the chicken was cooked or not. My nervous were already fried.
He was already so drunk I didnt need anything else piling it on. OK the TV and that was enough for me. My body and hands were still so sore. Just focus on cleaning the time will pass.
The sound of the plate crashing against the floor had me startled. The potatoes were thrown across the floor while the chcken was spread every which way. And i saw it. It was raw on the inside. The piece he bit into was rolled over facing me. It was raw pink gooey chicken. My fear was true. My nightmare was alive
. with a panic stricken face I looked toward him and regretted. The seat screeched as his deranged eyes made their way toward.
"You think u can fukn kill me" he screamed." you think i wouldn't notice your poison" he growled" marching towards me.
I knew that look. Ive seen it before.The way his forehead creased showing all his wrinkles. The way his mouth snarled showing his yellow cigarette stain teeth. I watched in horror as I saw my worst fear come to life . his hands making there way toward his belt. 
"Ppppplease please no" my hoursy voice came out. raising my hands in defense as I backed away crossing the kitchen into the living room.
"I'll fix it. I'll make more I begged." My fear growing as he came closer. Knowing i wouldn't win i tried to run but it was too late. I heard the belt whip in the air as it snapped harshly on my back.
Aghhhhhhhh the scream echoed the living room and was instantly followed by another one. My knees buckled and I fell on the carpet. Reaching my hand over my chest to try to touch my back another whip got both my fingers this time and back.
"Help meeeeee i screamed. I yelped, i shouted. loud as I could . knowing there was no one around.
"Helllllppppp me" i cried as he whipped me again and again.  He was about ten whips in with his leather belt. My fingers had cuts and my shirt was torn thru from the belt. I was now face first on the carpet taking one whip after another
I could here his strangled breathe over me. His grunts rough and strangled. The bastard was getting tired so i took this as an opportunity to crawl away. Placing one bloddy hand on the carpet I tried crawling I barely moved before he noticed..
He had my ankles in his hands and was pulling me back to the kitchen
"Noooooooooo...noooooo. " i screamed and thrashed against him ''Stoppppp
Pleaseeeeee. Nooo." My already broken fingernails were digging into the carpet trying to push forward but he was stronger and I was defeated..crying in pain and screaming fueled him
It kept him going. He finally dropped my legs  harshly banging my knees across the tile. He pulled me back by my hair. Having me bend my already torn up back in an awkward unfortorable position. "You stupid bitch, no one is gonna help you your mine, here forever" he said as he threw my head forward. And let go. "Now clean this shit up " but I couldn't focus. My ears were ringing. My vision was blurry I felt like I was about to pass out. Maybe throw up at the least. I couldn't move I couldn't breath. I couldn't think. Hell I didnt know if I could even walk. He however walked past me to the fridge grabbed a beer and sat on the couch.
I wanted to scream but I didnt want him to come back and finish the job..so I cried sikently instead.holding back as much noise as possible.And i knew one thought that would make me move off this floor. The only thing to keep me going.Tonight I would end it. I would finally just do it. I'd slit my wrist and be free. I couldn't do it it anymore. My body couldn't take it anymore. Not one more beating or whip in this hell hole of a house. Not one more ounce of hate would come from me. If this was my life I no longer wanted it. Let it be given to someone else.Anything would have been better than this and he was right who would help me.
With that thought in mind. I slowly tried to peel my face off the tile. As i lifted my head i saw my smeered blood on the floor. From my fingers from my back . it circled a round me. I pushed my week arms forward and pushed off the floor. Holding in every scream that wanted to come out. Holding in every screech and curse that wanted to be released. I could hear him snoring. He slept like nothing had happened.like he didnt almost beat me to death. He disgusted me . more than anything in the world. I bit my lip to hold  the pain in as I hunched forward towards my room. My back was on fire. Every piece of me burned. I half crawled up the stairs to my room. I was ready. I was ready to no longer feel this pain. I was ready to leave it and all this world behind. I wanted to finally be with mom. I couldn't and wouldn't do it anymore.

Had I only.known what was waiting for me in my room. Rather who was waiting for me. Would I still have gone. Would I have done what I did?