Kakegurui [One-Shots and Scenarios]

[One-Shot #67] Count To Ten

[Uh-oh, Ken is at a dark place again, so that means it's another angst one-shot! :o So, please be informed that certain triggering themes will be present, take this warning to heart.]

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One. . .Two

When I'm alone, my ears ring loud - a faint scream that clouds my hearing. It gets suffocating, it mocks me by it's annoying ring from past voices Telling me that I will be forever alone to rot in the lonesome apartment we use to share. I use to think that people overreact when some breaks up with them, like a silly crush that would soon past, but it seemed that my view was very wrong.

Seeing her everyday was the least of my problems, having to talk to her friends was nothing, but hearing her voice was the death of me. I couldn't believe she would let go of me so easily, ten seconds - ten fucking seconds - she left me alone to pondered about my choices.

Three. . .Four. . .

I always ask myself; what would happen if I were to not exist?

Would the people I care about need me to exist for their security?

Maybe if I would be quiet for one day, would things be the same?

How about I isolate myself from them?

Am I really needed here. . .

How about I distract myself.

Five. . .Six. . .

One.

Slash.

Two.

Slash.

Pain will distract me!

Punish me!

Distract me!

Punish me!

Distract me!

Punish me!

Distract me!

Punish me!

Kill me. . .

I don't want to live in a world where I'm worthless as a human being!

If she didn't want me, who else doesn't want me here?!

Who else doesn't need me to exist. . .

Seven. . .Eight. . .

I'll close my eyes, this will all go away.

She'll come back for me!

Yeah, I'm not that worthless!

Maybe. . .

Oh, I'm just as pitiful - why can't it be so easy to see a simple answer?!

WHEN THEY SAY THAT I AM WORTH MORE - WHY DO I FEEL LIKE IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE?!

If. . .

"Y/N!"

She is here with me.

She didn't leave me.

Why do I have such crazy day dreams?

"It's time for class, better not be late again, dumbass."

It's just how I wanted it, but why do I feel so empty?

Nine. . .

She doesn't need me.

She can live without me.

I am one person after all.

No importance, there are billions of us - I am just one out of that.

Ten. . .

"Y/N, you - I love you!" She exclaimed. "So, can you please talk to me?"

Talk to you?

"About what?" I say.

"What's on your mind." She asked.

"Nothing-" I reply.

"Don't play dumb." She hissed.

I forget my own emotions - feelings - I'm sorry that you had to read this. Maybe another day, another sunny day will appear. But the only thing in the sky is the grey clouds that hold my tears.

"I'm good! Don't worry!" I smile. "Though, can you hold my hand?"

She groaned. "Fine! You dork."

"Yay!" I exclaim.

I counted to ten, but. . .

I haven't let go.

I forget.

That's not a good thing

Is it?

"Come on, Y/N! You're so slow this morning."

I clear my throat. "It's morning."

"Shut up."

I am not okay.

I am okay.

Help me?