Plenty of times I have started a story, only to leave it in the middle.
Plenty of times I have started at a page, with no idea of what to write.
Plenty of times I have had second thoughts on whether I should really write.
But if I were to stop now...
Think of your favorite food. Try to make it sound as disgusting as possible.
***
N.
N-O.
N-O-O.
N-O-O-D. Wait a second.
That's not what I meant!
N-O-O-D-L. By now you probably know what it is. I'm going to talk to you about this infernal dish that people call noodles.
All inventions have been of some use to mankind in the long run. But, in all honesty, can you tell me one good use of this edible invention? If your answer is going to be something along the lines of “a delicious treat for your taste buds,” or anything like that, please save your breath. I'm not going to believe that, because I, for one, have never developed a liking for that oily, sticky mess made of strings.
Yeah, and let's cut out the lies that are about to spout out of your mouths about noodles being healthy, about how there are healthier alternatives for noodles made of wheat flour and stuff.
Lie buster #1: A majority of people buy instant noodles nowadays. And are you seriously naïve to believe that Maggi’s Atta noodles are actually healthy?
Let's not even get started on the health hazards of Maggi. That brand is basically cheap suicide. 2-minute noodles? More like 2-minute poison.
Lie buster #2: Yes, restaurants do have healthier versions of noodles. But do they get rid of your hunger at two in the morning? Admit it, we've all tried instant noodles at some point in our lives. I have, and that was a mistake.
And besides, it's not like eating pricey noodles outside is worth it, either.
Ever thought of making it at home? My answer to that will be ”Nope, I'm good". Mom made us make it once, in spite of my protests, and the kitchen was a war zone for the next four hours. The result? A tiny pan of noodles, which was definitely not enough to feed a family of five. Oops, my bad, I meant four.
So yes, I do have my reasons to dislike this. If you've got any complaints, threats or hate mails that you would like to send me, do send it to me on ihateyousuckers@gmail.com. I'd really love to hear your views. So sorry for bursting your bubble, noodle-lovers. Not.
***
Oh. My. God.
Who wrote that?
How could anyone bring themselves to write badly about that 'goodness in a plate'? Not me.
I feel like puking now that I've read through it again. I can't-
Whyyyyy? I can't suffer through this TORTURE!
Okay, enough of being a drama queen. I beg forgiveness to every noodle lover out there, including myself for that piece. Writing and Wattpad makes me do crazy things.
Over and back to you, Carrots!
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