Against the Odds

Part 2 | Grief

A hesitant knock was the first thing I heard that morning. Madison had been attempting to get me to go outside ever since the breakup.

That was two weeks ago.

When she didn't get a response back, she opened the door and peeked inside. She probably knew I was awake anyways.

"I knew you were awake." She was smiling to conceal the worry in her eyes but it didn't get past me. We were best friends after all. I gave her credit for trying though.

"Go away, Madison. I want to sleep." That was a lie. No matter how hard I tried, I haven't gotten a good night's sleep in a while.

The footsteps tentatively made their way to my bed and I raised my head to get a better look at her. She was carrying a tray in her hands. There was a plate of French toast on it and a tall glass of orange juice accompanying it. I tore my gaze away from the meal to focus back at her.

She took a seat at the edge of my bed. "I made French toast, your favourite," she sang as she held the plate in front of me. The usual excitement did not take over my body from seeing the dish though.

"I'm not really hungry, Madison." I grudgingly sat up and leaned back on the headboard, running my hands through the knots in my dark brown curls.

"Come on, you have to try some. I even added my secret ingredient." The plate was brought closer to me as she winked.

I had to crack a smile at that. "Vanilla extract is not a secret ingredient." I ignored the plate and reached for the orange juice instead. I didn't really want the juice either - it all seemed unappetizing to me - but I knew Madison wouldn't stop until I took something.

"At least brush your teeth first," she exclaimed. I didn't have the energy for that right now.

Madison started speaking in a low voice as I placed the glass down on my bedside table. "It's been two weeks, Vanessa. You can't keep beating yourself up over him."

I didn't answer her and just looked down, tears beginning to blur my vision. I didn't want to talk about this. I just wanted to forget what happened, forget what he did to me, forget him.

She scooted closer to me, placing a gentle hand on my knee. "I know you're grieving, but you have the power to choose what to do with that grief."

She couldn't be serious. "Are you kidding me? You think I should already be over him by now? In case you forgot, let me remind you that we were together since we were seventeen years old!" There was no point in trying to explain it to her. She didn't know what I was going through. She didn't know how every time I closed my eyes, I would see his stunning smile behind my eyelids. She didn't know how every time I tried to watch a movie to distract myself from my heart-wrenching present, I would subconsciously try to guess what he would think about the film. It felt like someone had pressed pause on my life while the rest of the world kept going on.

Despite my sudden outburst, Madison remained calm and unfazed, which was a stark contrast from her usual perky personality. "I know you can't forget all those years so quickly. Nor am I telling you to keep your emotions bottled up. You're allowed to cry, scream, ache, do whatever you need to get over this, and no one is going to judge you for it. But don't let this grief consume you." She got up and began to head out, stopping at the door to look back at me. "Just start with baby steps. Maybe finish the delicious French toast I made and leave your room once in a while, okay? It's starting to stink in here." She scrunched up her nose.

The action caused a laugh to escape me. Madison beamed widely at the sound of my laugh, seemingly satisfied - maybe because it was the first laugh I let out since the breakup - and closed the door behind her, leaving me to mull over her words.