Against the Odds

Part 3 | Anger

Taking Madison's advice into consideration, I entered the local grocery store after my shift at the cafe down the block. I would usually go straight home after work these days, but maybe Madison was right - I needed some fresh air.

The squeaking of the shopping cart wheels filled the air as I pushed it down the fruit aisle. Seeing the apples, I abruptly stopped, but not before accidentally bumping into the man in front of me.

"Sorry!" His back was to me and it tensed at the sound of my voice, but I continued trying to explain myself. "I guess the apples distracted me or something and I couldn't stop the cart fast enough. I didn't mean to-" I stopped rambling when the man spun around.

I was face-to-face with James.

"Vanessa." His baby blue eyes were wide with surprise. They wandered over my face for a moment before he ran his hand through his black hair. "Can we talk?"

My stomach dropped at the sight of him. I started to feel slightly nauseous just by being near him. I shouldn't have been shocked to see him - we lived in the same neighborhood and grocery shopping was a common practice, for God's sake - but for some reason, I was.

Not wanting to be in such close proximity to him for another second, I turned on my heel and pushed the shopping cart in front of me. I didn't even want to look at him, much less have a conversation with him.

Good thing I hadn't picked up any groceries yet. I put the empty cart back in its place at the front of the store before speed walking down the street, but could hear the sound of fast-approaching footsteps. "Stop! Please! Let me explain."

I picked up speed but it was no match for James as he caught my arm in his grasp and roughly swung me around to meet his gaze.

"Let go of me. I don't want to talk to you." My voice had a hint of warning in it and he let go, his hands held up in a surrendering motion.

"Okay, you don't have to talk to me. Just let me say what I need to. I tried to tell you on the phone, but you didn't answer any of my calls or texts." He sent me an accusatory glance, as if I was the one at fault here.

"There's a reason I didn't answer," I shot back dryly.

"Come on, Vanessa. I already told you that she was the one that kissed me. I didn't start anything!"

"You didn't end anything either!" Some people near us were giving us looks, so I grabbed his forearm and dragged him along with me. We were already in front of a small park, so I walked deeper into it and stood behind a large maple tree. I let go of his arm and spun around to face him. "I know that they might be the ones to start the kisses, but you don't push them away. I saw it with my own eyes when I caught you."

"I don't get what the big deal is. It was just a couple kisses. You're really going to break off what we have because of this? It's not like I slept with them or anything."

I stared at him, appalled. "It's still cheating. Multiple times," I sneered. "And apparently you could use a refresher of the day we broke up. I didn't dump you; you were the one that dumped me because you claimed I was overreacting about the whole situation! Though I should have."

"And I apologized." He put his hands on my shoulders, appearing desperate. "Nessa, I am so sorry that you got hurt. I'll never do anything like this again, I promise. Trust me."

I shrugged his hands off my shoulders and shook my head. His touch didn't have the sense of serenity that it previously possessed. "An apology and empty promise aren't going to cut it this time. And you talking about trust is just absolutely comical." My heart raced and it felt as if there was a wild stampede within me as I peered up into his eyes and said what I had to say. "I could never think clearly near you. I believed that I needed you in my life to be happy. My happiness was completely dependent on you. I even turned down my dream university to follow you to yours. I thought that even if I don't go there, I could fulfill my dream of becoming a teacher at your university. I thought that even if I didn't go there, at least I would have you and I blindly believed that it would be enough and worth it. And what was worse was that you expected me to follow you around. You knew how dependent I was on you. You gave me your attention so I ended up ignoring all your flaws. Well, now I can finally think clearly and know that I don't need you. I never have."

It felt so freeing to be able to say all that. My breathing was laboured as the adrenaline rushed through me at the fact that I finally lifted the weight off my shoulders and dropped it to the ground.

But James kept on going. "Please, give me another chance. You know how much I love you. Please."

I looked him straight in the eyes and said, "Love isn't supposed to drag you down."

And with that, I turned and left him.