Against the Odds

Part 6 | Independence

April ended and soon May rolled in. With the start of the new month came another special day.

My birthday.

It wasn't a day I particularly made a huge fuss about, but Madison insisted otherwise. After she had jumped up on my bed to wish me at an ungodly hour, she was adamant that we go out tonight. Thinking she was implying that we go to a club, I agreed to a night to let loose.

I began to get ready at five that evening, since Madison wanted to go early. She handed me a beautiful red long-sleeve skater dress from my closet to wear for the night. I argued that it didn't really scream "club", but she kept stressing that it was perfect.

There was no form of a wish sent to me from James, which was fine with me. It didn't bother me as much as I thought it would.

The second we climbed into her car, a blindfold was wrapped around my eyes. "What are you doing?" I attempted to move her hands away, but she was relentless as ever.

"Don't worry, Nessa. Relax. It's your birthday today, girl! Lighten up. We're going to have a blast tonight." The excitement was evident in her tone and it made me ease up. Though Madison was more on the wild side, I trusted her.

The car started and I felt us accelerating out of the building's parking garage. I relaxed into the cushion seat. The faint music from the radio was on in the background and I focused on that for the entirety of the journey.

When the car came to a complete stop and Madison cut the engine, she opened her door and I heard it close again. I was about to call out to her to see if she was still in the vehicle when the door on my side was opened. "You didn't think I was leaving you in here, did you?" The amusement in her voice made me roll my eyes, but I stopped midway when I realized that the action was harder to do with a blindfold on.

"Why am I blindfolded anyways? I thought we were going to a club or something."

"Trust me, this is so much better than a club." She gripped both my hands in hers and carefully guided me forward. We seemed to have arrived at our destination after a minute because she removed her hands from my own ones and moved them to untie the blindfold instead. "We're here!" She let the blindfold drop.

"Surprise!"

The chorus of screams came from my friends, family, and coworkers, who were all surrounding me. We were all gathered in my close friend's house. There were pastel streamers hanging from the walls and ceiling. Two giant gold balloons were in the corner and were in the shape of a two and a four. The table at the back held food and drinks.

The whole gesture was so thoughtful and unexpected that it had tears pricking my eyes. People began to come up to me to wish me a happy birthday and I couldn't hold back the enormous grin that adorned my face. The fact that I had so many people in my life who cared about me filled me with an overwhelming sense of gratitude.

After about two hours - which were filled with conversations, laughs, and music - I approached Madison again. "Hey, can I borrow your car? I need to go out for a bit."

She gave me a teasing pout. "Ditching the party already?"

"Yeah, I can't stand being near you anymore." Her jaw dropped in offence to my words and I laughed. "No, really. Thank you, for everything." I hoped that she understood the depth behind the words. "I just need to go do something. I'll be back in a little bit. I wouldn't want to miss the rest of this awesome party that you planned."

"Okay, fine." She handed the keys over with a tiny smile and then I was off.

* * *

The sun hung low on the horizon and cast a soft orange glow to the setting around me. I had slipped off my nude heels and they dangled from my hand as I walked barefoot on the grains of sand. I had avoided the beach for a while now.

James and I had our first date here.

We also broke up here.

My mind went back to the day of the breakup. It's been a little over a month since that evening, but I still remember it just as vividly. This time though, there wasn't a devastatingly painful ache in my chest at the memory.

I walked further down the beach and entered the lukewarm lake. I left my heels behind since there weren't many people present here at this time anyways. My dress stopped mid-thigh, so I wasn't worried about it touching the water. Another part of the evening stood out to me now. The elderly woman who was humming by the bus stop. The name of the song popped into my head and I smiled.

Rise Up by Andra Day.

And so I do. I rise to be better than him, stronger than him.

Better and stronger without him.

And I don't do it for him or anyone else, but for myself.

Because despite what I believed all these years, I didn't need him to feel alive.