Critique Corner

Aurora

Title: Aurora
By: azurescarlet101

Ratings: 8/10

Title

I love how simple yet mysterious yung title mo. Aurora as you have said ang daming meaning and now not just the northern lights nor the disney princess but Aurora the loving mother and the dream traveler ang isang tatatak sa akin pag nabasa ko ang salitang Aurora. The title screams magic and excitement. Well done!

Book Cover

Grabe yung book cover yung relevance niya sa story at nakakakuha talaga ng attention. Good thing din na may phrase na "Find your self in their dreams" like whoah.

Sypnosis

Synopsis is very good, It's like pulling your readers inside the story. Though medyo familiar yung 'dream traveler plot' ng story so ang pinaka aabangan is kung gaano ka unique yung flow.

Characterization

Aurora's character is so good, how you made her views in life made her so brave to decide selflessly for love.

Medyo kulang lang kasi hindi na explain mismo kung sino yung matanda and ano kung kinalaman niya so medyo magiging plot hole siguro yun kaya edit mo na lang, just add infos about him. Pwedeng kasunod dun sa revealing of revelation mga isang paragraph lang kung sino siya.

Dialogue and Deliberation

Zen and his lines are so effective para magpakilig at magpalungkot. And I believe na pag kaya na ng author na magpalabas ng emotion nagiging effective writer ka na rin.

Yung flow din ng story hindi magulo. How you describe little things and little features or your character is really good. That's my note sa first 10 chaps ata.

Yung padulo nga gaya ng sabi ko medyo nagkulang na sa info baka kasi sabi mo nga medyo tinamad ka but I am relieve na tinuloy mo.

Sa dialogue chapter 28, sa medyo dulong part okay sana kung try mo ganito:

"How can I understad---"
"What's the use of my title----" Pag papatuloy ko.

Kung hiwa hiwalay kasi tas walang indication nagmumukhang nagsasalitan sila ng sinasabi where in fact nung inulit ko pag basa line pala lahat yun ni Aurora hehe.

Over all format (Errors and Typos)

I am happy to say na wala ng masyado mali sa spacing, period, commas and such sa format mo.

Wait sa dulong part siguro na excite ka na mag update kaya may mga kulang na one letter minsan.

Yung space lang sa paragraph ng Dream 1 isa lang and super okay na yun, but I guess binago mo sa dream 2 tas sa dream 3 may double space may single space, and so on sa ibang chapter.

Pero madadaan naman sa proof read ang minor errors mo. So consistency lang. But your format for a new writer is surprisingly amazing.

Additional comments, thoughts and recommendation

I love how the story goes on. But the ending really touches my heart. Nakakalungkot but na justify naman lalo na yung decision niya na nagpakita ng big love niya for her husband and daughter.

For a new writer, nakaka impress na nakatapos ka ng story. Kudos! Kasi ngayon or dati lalo na sa mga new authors hirap maka tapos ng story. Napagdaanan ko na rin so cheer up!1

As long as may nagbabasa kahit isa lang yan ituloy mo. Believe in your self because it is always you who you need to satisfy and love. Hindi yung ibang tao.

The whole concept is amazing maybe dagdag lang onti ng details to make the chapters a little bit longer.

Thoughts about the story:

Parang may kulang siguro nga sa details and mga whys ng story, pero swear yung story mo ang sarap sa pakiramdam ng atmosphere habang nagbabasa. It was like a breath of fresh air.1

Grabe revelation sa dulo, I like this story! So so much. 
Medyo kulang sa details but you'll learn, after all there's always room for improvement.

Keep writing!

Keep expressing your heart out through writing. Thanks for sharing your story!