Living a Double Life (McLennon)

Chapter 8

*John's POV*

I stomped all the way to my house, didn't say hi to Mimi who was sitting in her chair, and went up and slammed the door to my room, locking myself inside. "I wonder where he got all of that information? There's no way I would use him! I mean sure I've talked about being rich and famous but I'd never try to get famous by being his friend, let alone try and get money from him!"

I sat there in frustration.

"I do like Paul, very very much so! And I think he likes me too, well, did... There's no way he likes me now. I knew I shouldn't have hung out with Cyn today. I knew I shouldn't be hanging out with her at all but I did anyway. I should have just messaged Paul and hung out with him and now all because of me, he's upset. The look in his eyes made me want to break down in tears right in front of him."

I started feeling sad just sitting on my bed so I tried to think of a happy memory. I got up and got my guitar and started playing a song. I had changed the music so I could play my guitar to it since I didn't have a piano.

"Wise men say, only fools rush in

But I can't help, falling in love with you"

I sang smoothly and loudly. By the end of the song I started crying and couldn't finish the last chords on my guitar. I heard a faint knock at my door and my Mimi's voice.

"John? Do you think we can have a chat?" She said calmly through the door.

I reached over and unlocked it and twisted the handle so she knew she could come in.

She walked in and sat down on my bed and I put my guitar on the floor, leaned up against my dresser. I was still crying and put my face in my hands.

"John? What's wrong honey? I heard you singing and you sounded lovely." Mimi put her hand on my shoulder.

I sniffled and looked up at her. "I've ruined everything Mimi!" I sobbed out.

"What did you ruin?" She looked confused.

"I told you about me mate Paul, yeah?" I asked her.

"Oh yes that lad that models. What about him?"

"Well I think I ruined our friendship. He thinks I'm using him to get rich and famous." I cried out and put my forehead on her shoulder.

"Oh John," she rubbed the back of my head. "You just have to show him that you aren't, show him that you want to be his friend for him, not because of his popularity or money." She made me sit up right and looked into my eyes.

"As much as you've talked about this boy I know he'll understand. He seems very sweet and caring." She looked at me.

"He saw me with Cynthia today when we walked out of the record shop and to my car. He thinks I saw him on the sidewalk but I didn't and if I did I would have kicked Cynthia out." I cried to her.

"This seems all too much for one little miss-understanding. Is there something else going on?" She rubbed my back.

I looked down at the floor. "We did almost kiss once.. it was when I went to his flat for dinner that one night. We were listening to that new Elvis record I got and Can't Help Falling In Love was playing. But then his dad called us for dinner and nothing has happened since." I rushed all my words out in sobbs.

"John honey you need to calm down. It's okay, yeah? Just tell me one thing okay?" She asked.

"Okay?" I sniffed out.

"Do you like this boy?"

"Mimi I think I do, I've never felt this way about anyone, even Cyn, but I didn't want to tell you or anyone because I don't want to disappoint you." I started tearing up again.