Maybe, you could stay (I promised you not to write this)

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AN: this one's pretty short. Sorry.

P.s. turned this into a multichap: I Promised You Not to Write This

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Jennie received her text just before work; Can we talk? Later? Same place and time. She'd been reading the same set of words since half past eight in the morning. She should've been at work by now, sitting by Jisoo, going through photos to be included in the new ad they've managed to secure from a very picky client.

"Are you fine?" it's funny how Jennie could feel the worry and warmth through all this static from Jisoo's voice.

"Yeah, I'll make it up to you tomorrow."

"Nah, it's fine Jendeukie... you take as much time as you need to."

Did her voice give her away again?

"I gotta run, Wonwoo's here."

Jennie hears the familiar click and the usual busy tone right after. She slumps into the seat, staring at the steam from the coffee puff out collectively in the air before it disappears. She licks her bottom lip out of habit, out of the building panic inside her.

She was wearing Lisa's favorite dress of hers, the lilac dress she bought off an obscure vintage shop when they were vacationing off Paris. She runs a hand over the fabric that pooled on the seat, smoothing any lumps and anything that seemed to look out of place. She wanted to see Lisa's eyes light up, wanted to see her slow-building smile, her annoying little chuckle, and the way she'd lean in -- crossing her arms on the table top and slowly taking her time to reach out for her hand, right across. Hear her "You look beautiful.", and the way her breath would hitch audibly.

Jennie stares out into the street, tucked in their usual spot. Remembering how they'd spend countless afternoons watching people, back when they had time to spare.

"Hey."

She sounded far away, like she wasn't really there and all Jennie was seeing was a figment of her imagination. Something she conjured out of intense longing.

"Hey... I didn't see you walk in?"

"Yeah, uhhh you were quite preoccupied with the view outside." Lisa answers back gently, her smile askew. "It's uh, it's hot out isn't it?"

Jennie nods, waits.

Lisa takes the seat opposite her a little too gruffly and Jennie knows she had another tiring day from work. Knows her too well, far too well Jennie knows what she'll say next, how she'll say it wasn't anybody's fault and how she'll try to fix things because she wants everybody winning, wants everybody to be happy when she isn't even happy herself. Or at least she thought she knew her that well.

"Have you... have you been well today?"

Jennie smiles, Lisa was never great at hiding hesitance even though she's great at hiding everything else.

"Fine." She catches Lisa's eyes on her dress, sees the recognition and Jennie feels her heart get caught in her throat. "You?"

Tired

"Tired... you... you look lovely."

It isn't what she's hoping. Her eyes dont lit up, she doesn't chuckle, she doesn't reach out. She looks away, she fumbles with her fingers and she tries to smile awkwardly. It breaks Jennie into pieces.

"Yeah, uh... thank you."

"Here, I wanted to ... no, I ... I need you to sign these."

Lisa slides the folder over to her side of the table, and Jennie stares at it like it's something foreign, something that doesn't belong there.

"Lisa..." She starts, just like every other night or day when they're together these days. She sees her wince and knows she'll be cut off right here.

"We've talked about this. We've decided this was for the best, didn't we?"

Jennie doesn't answer, just stares at the papers filed neatly inside the folder.

"Just sign them Jen..."

It's breaking her, and she wants to think it's breaking Lisa too. Wants to think it pains her the same way it's hurting her. That she was secretly dying inside like her ... She takes her cup of coffee and cradles it in her hands, hoping they wouldn't shake as much as she feared they would. She felt cold all over, and the warmth wasn't helping. It was beginning to taste a bit off, staler than it usually was and growing cold. Jennie kept the cup nestled between both hands as she looked out of the cafe windows.

Yup, cold.

She looked back at Lisa, sitting in front of her looking more and more indifferent.

"Is that all?" Jennie whispered.

"Do you really want to get hurt that much?" Lisa whispered back, weariness dripping from each word.

The words stung. More than they should, more than Jennie was supposed to allow them to. She wanted to say no, say she's tired, say she's longing for nothing but her warmth and her hug and her words and her kisses and her, but she doesn't.

"I don't want to make this difficult Jen.."

"Can't we talk about it? We can... we --"

"We've gone past that ... I think. We don't, we don't even talk anymore."

She says it plainly, like there was nothing else but that truth that exists between them and Jennie wanted to scream and throw things at her and hurt her like she's hurting her. Anything, anything right now to get her eyes to look at her with emotion. Empty, that's all Jennie sees and it's killing her. Sucking her in a blackhole where the pull was strong enough to kick her out of her own orbit.

She doesn't know how long she sat there looking at the paper, she figures it must've been quite a while because Lisa reaches out a little too impatiently and places the pen beside her idle hands.

Jennie doesn't know which hurt more; knowing the truth or forcing herself to believe a lie.

Divorce Agreement

She takes the pen and scribbles her signature.

It takes less than two minutes for her to slide it back to Lisa, pick her bag up, look Lisa in the eyes and say the words she wished she had told her everyday.

"I love you."

Lisa looked back and smiled softly, a tinge of sadness in her eyes;

"I loved you too."

xxx



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