This Love Only Brings You Pain (COMPLETED) ✓

Two

Lilith drove the girls over a particularly bumpy patch of the dirt road, causing the sleeping Camila to thump her head against the window. The smaller girl turned to chew her out for her actions, but at the last minute decided against it and simply curled up into a ball in the passenger seat.

Beatrice sighed in relief. The last thing everyone needed right now was for Camila and Lilith to have a petty arguement, what with the turn of events that had occurred in the past few hours. Bea herself was enraged at Vincent; how could he kill Shannon like that? Why would he, of all people, turn against them to side with the likes of Adriel? It simply didn't make any sense.

Even though she'd never admit it nor show any sign of emotion, she was worried. Worried about how Mary was taking the news of their ally's betrayal; concerned about Lilith's health and newfound abilities, anxious for Camila's safety and guilty for having Ava sent into the tomb all alone. Guilt and anxiousness were two of the feelings Beatrice was most familiar with. The sickening sensation had never been this strong before, though; she half thought about demanding that Lilith pull over so that she could throw up in the shrubbery.

After little contemplating, she decided she just wasn't worth it. Beatrice didn't see the point in bothering her fellow sisters with her internalised pain. Whatever was going on in her head, was between her and God. She'd devoted years to him, and wasn't about to back down from her vows, even though they were running away from the Church. Duretti, the new Pope, was bound to send people after them. Like Ava had said, they'd broken into the Vatican. That alone was sure to banish them from holy ground.

"I'm sorry everything turned to shit," Ava murmured from beside her. She spoke with sincerity, which surprised the raven haired nun. Usually, Ava tended to make a joke out of serious situations, but that wasn't the case at this moment in time. "I should have helped you guys more. But my eyes just began burning, it was horrible. Probably Adriel's magic at work."

Beatrice felt a swell of pity for her friend. "It's not your fault that Vincent betrayed us, okay? We were all convinced this was Duretti's doing, but we turned out to be wrong. That isn't on you."

Ava released a shaky breath, wiping away a stray tear. Beatrice wanted to reach out and hold her, but was afraid of doing so. Ever since she had arrived at the Cat's Cradle, Bea had wanted to act on impulses that she had convinced herself were sinful. What would God think of her if he knew that she had feelings for Ava that weren't platonic? What would her fellow sister warriors think?

It was thoughts like these that had refused to let her sleep for weeks, bringing back painful memories of her parents. She wished they could've loved her for who she was, but that wasn't the case. She had tried to change so badly, going on dates with random boys back home in the hope that she'd feel something. But she never had. She recalled the numerous amounts of girlfriends her brother had introduced to the family, each one increasing the want to act on her tendencies.

Beatrice wished she hadn't tried to explain her romantic attraction to girls to her family, because if she had just pretended, they never would've sent her away to Catholic school. But was it really such a bad thing that they'd done? After all, she'd learned to bury these feelings deep within her heart, and she'd met the others. She'd strived for perfection simply so that they'd take her back in with loving arms, but they never had. All because they'd taught her that a part of herself—something she couldn't change— was disgusting. And for years, she'd believed their harsh words were true.

Until she met Ava.

"Beatrice!"

She blinked out of her daze, trying to keep a stoic expression on her face. "Huh? Sorry. What...what were you saying?"