This Love Only Brings You Pain (COMPLETED) ✓

Fourteen

Beatrice's childhood home was bigger than Ava imagined it would be. Then again, she had spent the majority of her life in an orphanage with evil nuns. Ava looked over at the woman beside her, who was clutching at the leather of the seat viciously. The halo bearer shuddered as she remembered the various panic attacks Bea had experienced on their way here.

What had happened to her?

"I can't," the other girl whispered.

"What is it?" Ava panicked, reaching forward to check the woman's pulse. "Do you need to lie down? Should I call Camila for advice, or-"

"No, no," Beatrice whispered. "Please, can we just....lie back there for a bit, together."

"Of course," Ava murmured, grateful that she'd upped her training in the weight lifting department as she hauled Beatrice into arms, surprised at how muscly such a petite person was.

"What?" Beatrice whispered, smiling this time.

"Ermm...it's nothing."

A giggle. "No, tell me. Please?"

Fuck. It was impossible to say no to that puppy dog face.

"It's just.... you are, you know..."

"I'm what?" she teased. "Not your type?"

"No, it's not that," Ava replied, resisting an amused eye roll. "You captivate me unlike no other. Over and over again."

Beatrice went crimson. "Oh."

"Sorry, have I weirded you out?"

"No, it's just..." the nun swallowed. "Can you put me down on the backseat, please?"

Ava did as instructed, laying the girl across the seats. Beatrice finally felt like she could breathe. If it wasn't for the halo bearer's gentle humming or the low music seeping from the radio, she could've believed she was floating on a raft across the British Chanel, back to her home and the sisters she loved so dearly.

But instead, she was parked in a rented Mercedes Benz outside her parents estate in London, her shirt drenched with cold sweat from the panic attacks she'd been a victim to. Instinctively, she tugged on Ava's arm, drawing her from the driver's seat to lie on top of her.

The other woman looked pleasantly surprised, which spurred Beatrice's want to wrap her legs around her hips to bring her closer. It was like Ava could sense what she wished, and also desired to be able to mingle their heartbeats, to phase inside of her so that they could become one.

"Are you feeling better now?" Ava whispered, kissing a few freckles on Bea's milky cheeks.

"Yeah," she whispered. "I don't want to go in. I just want to stay here, forever."

The brunette grinned. "Awwwwww. You're a cutie pie, you know that?"

Beatrice sighed. "I'm serious. They've really fucked me up, Aves. I don't know why they want to see me and I'm starting to not care at all about them."

"We can leave, if you want," the halo bearer suggested. "You can send them a letter saying something came up. No one has to know."

"Too late. My brother's approaching the car."

••••

The house's interior hadn't changed a bit. Beatrice saw all of the same paintings, the antiques her aunt had left her father as inheritance, the same grandfather clock in the corner of the kitchen covered in a layer of dust. Her father sat at the kitchen table, his glasses perched precariously on his nose as he drooled over the daily news. Her mother was sashaying around the place, brewing tea and placing cucumber sandwiches on side plates.

"Mother, father," her brother, Edmond, spoke with barely hidden malice as he entered the kitchen. "She's here. She brought a guest, too."

Bernard lowered his newspaper. "So she is. Good afternoon, Beatrice."

The nun put on a tight lipped smile. "Hi, father. We're just going to drop off our belongings in my old room."

Her room was bare. Just like she remembered, except her desk where she had spent many nights studying was gone. All that was left was the pale grey walls and her single bed. Surprisingly, it didn't hurt as much as she'd expected. Beatrice assumed they'd try and exist without her.

Mindlessly, she placed her duffel bags next to the doorway before kicking off her shoes and stumbling into bed. Ava watched with concern and awkwardness, as if afraid she'd intruded into one of Beatrice's private moments. The nun motioned to the spot next to her, commanding the halo bearer to join her. The halo flashed briefly, as it always did whenever the brunette was excited or nervous.

Beatrice tried not to read too much into things. But she secretly hoped that Ava only glowed for her. It was just an optimistic wish, but all she really wanted these days was for the brunette to look at her with that smile, to touch her in that gentle and yet passionate way, to love her.

But that could never happen.

"What are you thinking about?" Ava murmured softly.

"I'm not sure you want to know," Beatrice replied.

"Do share."

"I think I-" she began, only to be interrupted by a series of curt nods against the open door.

"Dinner is ready," Edmond said, eyeing the pair suspiciously. "Do hurry up, mutt. We wouldn't to keep my father waiting, would we?"

"Please keep an eye on me during dinner," Ava advised. "I think I just might break your brother's nose."