Sick, Slyvia

2

     "Good morning Slyvia. Let me check your condition, okay?" That was my doctor. She come here every early in the morning. She became my personal doctor two years by now.

I patiently waiting if there's have any improvement but I waited for nothing. The doctor just left without me knowing my own condition.

Tulad kahapon ay hindi pa din ako nagsasalita. I keep myself silent. Kahit pa nga gusto kong pigilan ang doctor at magtanong ng tungkol sa aking lagay.

The reason why, naiwan na naman akong mag-isa sa aking silid. Nakahiga at natutulala. Hindi ko akalaing ang dating lugar na ayaw kong balik-balikan ay naging tahanan ko na. Sa halos tatlong taon ko ay nanatili akong nagpapagaling sa silid na ito. A room full of memories.

Another day had pass. I'm counting my remaining four days of living. I bitterly smile while looking at every edge of this room. By these day, I am no longer a craving girl because I'm not looking for any longer life.

Habang nasa malayo ang aking isip ay nakarinig ako ng katok. Mommy enter my room with someone whom I don't know. I am not sure because I can't clearly see the image near at the door.

"Via, Sophie is here. She want to visit you." Then my mom look behind her. "Have a seat Sophie. Maiwan ko muna kayo at maghahanda ako ng meryenda mo."

Sophie nod. "Thank you tita."

As Sophie seat beside my bed I feel her existence. I hope I am her. Sa araw-araw na pagbisita ni Sophie ay hindi niya ako binibigo sa masasaya niyang balita't kwento. I don't know where she got those strength to visit me everyday. She's supposed to have her own world.

Kaya ayoko ng may nakakaalam ng sakit ko. Dahil tulad ko ay nakukulong din sila sa pag-aalala at lungkot na dapat ay ako lamang ang makakaranas. Sounds selfish, oo, ayoko lamang namang mas masaktan pa sila sa huli. I can't provide more 'cause I won't stay for long.

She's now holding my hand.

"Via, ahm, Ku-ku-kuya is here. I mean dumating siya dito sa Pilipinas kahapon. He's asking me about you but I don't know what to tell nor where to begin. Kaya magpagaling ka na, you should be the one who let him know about your condition. I'm not in the place para pangunahan ka."

Here we go again. Sa natitirang limang araw ko sa mundo ay pulos si Axl ata ang maririnig ko. Unlike before na halos wala naman akong marinig na balita tungkol sa kanya.

Why now? What's with today?

"Well, as your friend, I am sad for the both of you. Pero nagagalit din ako kay Kuya dahil iniwan ka niya gayong may sakit ka. He is a jerk. A total jerk." Ani Sophie. I see her rolling her eyes.

Even the innocent one can be a baddass. Who tell? Sophie is the best example.

"He's telling me how happy to be back here. Gusto niyang puntahan ka dito plus he keeps on telling me that he's still-" Mom cut her off. Bigla kasing pumasok si Mommy.

I wonder what Axl keep on saying. Again, curiousity kill me.

"Hija, ito na ang tuna sandwich at juice mo."

After giving us the food, I mean giving her a food, Mom left us here alone. Ayoko mang makaramdam ng inggit pero iyon talaga ang nararamdaman ko. I miss eating my mom's cook. I miss eating those favorite food.

I always remind myself about waiting. Kunting panahon nalang at di na ako maiinggit. Hindi na ako masasaktan. Hindi na ako mahihirapan. At hindi na ako magkakasakit. Weird but I'm excited for that to happen.

"As what I'm telling Via, palaging sinasabi ni kuya na tama lang ang naging desisyon niya. Una, dahil sinabi mo daw na hindi mo naman talaga siya mahal. He keeps on telling how good his decision because finally he learn how to handle his emotion. I wonder tuloy kung nagsasabi ba ng totoo si kuya kasi kapag nakatingin ako sayo habang kasama mo siya, isang emosyon lamang ang nakikita ko. The love."

I'm a bit shock. Kelan ko sinabing hindi ko siya mahal? Kung tama ang pagkakaalala ko ay basta na lamang niya akong iniwan with his lame reason kuno. Tapos ako pa pala ang masama sa kwento?

That time, when he leave, I never blame him for what happen. Eventough, because of him I faint. And because of him I failed to hide my sickness. I failed on everything because of him. And now? I heard his sister telling me how good his decision is.

That asshole. How dare him!

"Pangalawa, hindi ka din naman daw niya mahal at minahal. See how jerk my brother? He deny the obvi-." Sophie stop in between.

Paano niya nasasabi ang mga ganoong bagay? We obviously having a good affair back then. I love him more than anything he do. Kahit pa ng iwan niya ako.

I reach Sophie and hold her hand tightly, my chest feels heavy. I can't breathe. I can't!

"Via. Via, OMG! What happen? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Help. Tita! Tito!" Sigaw ni Sophie.

Pero hindi pa nakakarating sina Mommy ay unti-unti ng pumipikit ang aking mga mata. Even my eyes can't hold on. Even my eyes signaling me to give up. As I finally close my eyes, my tear escape.

Welcome back Axl Ace Palmes. My only love.

-사랑, 덴니비에.😚