My Rockstar Nextdoor Neighboors.

Chapter 5- Forget, Regret.

Chapter 5- Forget , Regret

**Trigger Warning ***

My eyes flutter open to see the top of my bunk. I slide out and grab some clothes, black shorts, my Sempiternal shirt, and grey Vans. I let my hair fall naturally and decide to take a shower to wash up, I'm not wearing make-up today. Its a day off for the guys. We have to travel all the way to New Mexico.

I walk out to the front and notice, Mike , and Tony sitting at the table talking.

I grab a water and sit down on our plushy couch.

"Ah fuck dude. Do you remember anything last night? I sure don't! " Tony groaned.

"No bro." Mike replied .

Tony doesn't remember. He was drunk when he said he loved me. How could I be so dumb and think someone like him could like someone like me?

I'm a waste of space.

I walked back to the bunks carefully trying not to wake up Vic or cause suspiciousness. I was digging through my bag before I felt something jab my finger. I lift up my jeans and see what it is,

My Savior.

I picked up the razor studying it.

It had been 4 years, do I want to do this?

All I felt was pain, heart break. I needed this.

I climb into my bunk and shut my curtain , silently I dragged the metal across my skin,

Worthless,

Waste Of Space,

No One will ever love you,

Tony hates you,

Everyone hates you.

I cried silently not waking Vic .

***

After cleaning up my mess and putting neosporn on my fresh wounds I put my blade away. I had brought it having a gut feeling I would need it.

I put on my bracelets hissing at the pain.

It felt good ,

It felt good to not feel this heart break, to feel the physical pain ,

Why did I ever stop this?

Sighing I went to the front of the bus seeing the boys watching a movie, I sit next to Vic and far away from Tony.

Vic wraps his arms around me and I snuggle into his chest feeling tired I fall asleep.

***

I woke up and heard Vic and Tony speaking softly,

"Why would she do this to herself Tony?" Vic asked.

"I don't know, I don't know Vic. Is she depressed? What happened last night?"

" I saw you guys talking at the bar, then she just got up and walked out crying,"

"I can't recall anything,"

I stand up and walked to the bunks before turning around glaring at them,

" If you want to talk about me , or my decisions fine. Just make sure next time I'm not in earshot," I turned around and walked out angrily.

I climbed into my bunk and out my headphones in,

When I'm angry I like to listen to heavy music.

I put on Crucify Me on, I put it on shuffle, my list played in,

Crucify Me, Bring Me The Horizon

OhioIsOnFire, Of Mice & Men

Glass Hearts, Of Mice & Men

That's all I could remember before dozing off , feeling heart broken.

-Flash Back-

"Briannnaaa!" Tony giggled.

I opened my balcony door to see one of four of my best friends,

" Hey Tony! Let me grab my phone then we can go to the gig !"

I grabbed my phone and ran outside, my parents said they would be home soon and said I could go,

The guys convinced me to go to their gig, they were starting at Pierce The Veil.

I jumped into the car sitting on Tony's lap , we got to the gig and they played an awesome show,

My phone vibrated and the contact name MOM flashed,

I answered it ,

"Hey mommy!" I giggled.

"Hello darling, I need you home now! T-there is a guy in the house , he has a gun honey please hurry, "

------END OF FLASHBACK---

I woke up in cold sweats screaming, Tony came to my bunk,

" Hey! Hey! What's wrong ? " he asked worried.

"I-i had a dream, o-of that night Tony.. I hate myself so much." I was shaking and crying.

He pulled me into a hug,

I asked him to cuddle with me, and keep me safe. So he did,

I doze off, to him humming the chords to

' When You Can't Sleep At Night '

I was beginning to doze off when Tony said something that took my by surprise.

"I love you Brianna, I wish you were mine. I remember the night at the bar. I remember everything, god I love you. "

I was taken by surprise

Then my eyes fell.

I forgot what it was like to have my best friend,

I regret ever leaving him,

*****A/N***

Not as long.. But I wanted to hold off a bit.

Yeaaaaaahhhhhhhh!

I'm warning everyone now, YOU READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.