The Breaking Point (Complete)-Shawmila

Help Me

Killing the engine of his car, Shawn closed his eyes and took some deep breaths, he longed for a sense of calmness to embrace his being and allow him some thinking space but all he found was sickening regret and panic.

Slamming his clenched fists down on the centre of the steering wheel he attempted to release some of the emotion that had been consuming him for well over a year.

Camila…

His family…

The mess he'd made of things with Niall...

And Hailey…

Reaching across to the passenger seat he collected the brown paper bag and then threw open the door before exiting his car and heading into the heavy night air.

The forest he was cutting his way through was dense and you could easily find your self lost if you didn't know where you were going, but lucky for Shawn he'd been coming here for years and knew the track like the back of his hand.

After a few close encounters with tree roots Shawn found himself and his precious cargo in one piece and standing just where he needed to be… the small wood cabin owned by his uncle, the place where he had always come when he needed to find peace, and my God, he needed peace tonight.

Finding the key to the front door on his key chain wasn't an easy task in the darkness but he eventually found the one that fit and threw the door open, once inside he slammed it shut on the world before dropping his key chain and the paper bag onto the small sofa and dropping himself heavily onto the floor in front of it, hugging his knees to his chest.

His breathing was ragged as a thousand thoughts tore at his mind and sobs began heaving in his chest but he just hugged his legs tighter

"What have I done?" His words came out in small, short breaths as he lifted his head from its resting place and pushed his hair from his face angrily.

Catching sight of his cut knuckles, he gazed at his wounded hand with a morbid curiosity, the cuts were deep and it hurt to straighten out his fingers. Reaching behind him Shawn found the paper bag and pulled it onto his lap. Opening it he pulled out it's contents- a bottle of whiskey and unscrewing the cap he took a swig before splashing some down on to his wounded hand and willing physical pain to relieve him of his emotional pain.

It worked too, for about 5 seconds as the alcohol seared his bloodied knuckles but as soon as the pain subsided it all came flooding back to him and he felt himself being dragged back under.

Taking another swig of whiskey, Shawn pushed his hair back from his face and cursed its inability to ever stay where he put it.

How had he ended up here… like this?

How had his life taken so many wrong turns in such a short period of time that he'd lost his grasp on everything…including himself. He didn't know who he was anymore, all he knew was he wasn't who everyone else thought he was anymore.

Good old Shawn Mendes- you can always rely on him to do the right thing-WRONG

Shawn Mendes- always makes the right decisions- WRONG

Your parents must be so proud of you- FUCKIN WRONG AGAIN!

Mistakes- both his and other peoples had proved the undoing of his solid character, they'd sent him into a spinning decline and he prayed that tonight he had hit rock bottom because if this wasn't it, he didn't know if he could withstand anymore.