A.N: hey there, just a little word from me! I suffer from this a lot actually, I tend to push myself to limits that are just unacceptable and having someone around really does help. So if you are struggling, please reach out, you can always text me too, i am here for you <3
——back to the story!——
Overwork
verb
exhaust with too much work.
Needless to say, everything was back to normal. The biys working harder than ever to make sure that their next comeback is one for the books.
And of course, Felix was overworking himself.
He still had the...fear....the anxiety that if he didn't work hard enough...they'll drop him. It was safe to say taht his...elimination...left a scar on him, a scar too deep. A reminder taht he was disposable.
The voice had returned.
You're not good enough
You're not worthy enough to be here.
You're here out of pity.
He stopped eating, only having sugary snacks to keep his energy levels up.
He started reading more Korean storybooks and novels.
He kept practicing his lines when he'd go down to practice his dancing.
He kept working out longer and harder.
He stopped sleeping, instead he'd have multiple 30 minute naps.
He started to bruise more easily, where once a fall would only leave a red mark for an hour or two, now it left a full on bruise for a day or two.
His arms and legs had become skinny, dangerously skinny.
And the voices kept on getting...
Louder
Stronger
More prominent
Until al he could think of was those dreaded thoughts he had tried to escape, his harp music wouldn't help anymore. His gaming wouldn't help anymore but he'd still do it.
Usually when he would be feeling like this he'd go to Han or Minho or Seungmin, he'd even go to Changbin but everyone was on edge.
But everyone was on edge.
Han stopped making jokes.
Hyunjin stopped sleeping with others, instead he'd be on the couch. Which worsened Minho's moods.
Changbin started chewing his nails more, a habit he'd pick up only when he was too nervous
Jeongin was more irritable, the maknae had developed an attitude.
Seungmin started to work more and eat less.
It was scary.
Especially Chan. No one had ever seen him so focused before. That's because he wanted to set a new standard, to prove that Stray Kids is something other than "just another band".
Focused, determined Chan was also scary Chan.
Focused, determined Chan was also irritable Chan.
Focused, determined Chan was also moody Chan.
Focused, determined Chan was also quiet Chan.
