Rise Up: Hamilton Cast Fanfiction

I'm Helpless

The tears seized me. I felt an arm around me, and someone take my hand. I could only choke back another sob. 

Kylie was holding my hand, so tightly as if she was afraid to let go. 

Vanessa was rubbing my back. "It's okay. It's okay." she kept saying, almost like a chant. Either to me or to herself. 

"W-what happened?" I finally managed to say, my voice cracking. Just saying that took so much effort. 

Renee and Pippa shared a look. "We'll tell you later. How are you feeling?" Renee asked, her voice full of concern. Pippa's warm brown eyes met mine. Just her look gave me a little more strength. 

"I'm ok. Did I pull a muscle or somethin-" I stopped myself as the memories of last night like a slap to the face. 

My face said it all. I swallowed the growing lump in my throat and put up an effort not to start crying again. 

I turned to Kylie for the first time. She was still in her dress, but it had looked like she had slept in it. Her beautiful makeup was ruined and so was her elegant braided updo. I reached up and touched my hair, immediately wishing I hadn't. It was stringy, and the braids were long gone. 

"I'll fix it again." Pippa promised. 

"Are you ready to see a doctor? She's waiting." Vanessa asked.

"Y-yes." I whisper. "I'm ok still."

Renee nodded and led them out the room. "Kylie, stay with me. Please?" I needed her. Someone my own age. She nodded and took a seat for what was probably the first time today. Tonight? No idea what time it was. That was scary. 

A young woman entered the room with a wearing a doctor's coat. "I'm Dr. Emmich. Call me Katrina if you wish."

I nodded in response. 

"How do you feel?" she asked.

"Tired. And I like I pulled something in my legs." 

"Ok. You need to rest. But a officer would like to talk to you. A female." she assured. 

"Yes. I'm ok." I answered.

She nodded and was soon replaced by a female officer who sat next to me. 

"What do you remember?" 

"The dance. And then the party."

"Ok, what exactly happened at the party?"

I noticed she wasn't writing anything down but was recording it. 

"I was dancing. And then someone handed me a drink. That's it." 

"Ok thank you." she walked out. 

Kylie handed me sweatshirt and some shorts and directed me to the bathroom in the room. When I came out dressed, I saw Kylie putting the blood stained sheets into a basket and changing new ones. She hated blood, and here she was doing it for me. I own everything to her. 

I looked at Kylie as I slid into fresh sheets. "Tell me what happened. I want to hear it from you. The truth, not the sugarcoat." I said. 

She sighed and held my hand. "I got caught up in dancing with Dalton. I was so distracted that I lost track of you. When it hit me, I panicked. I asked everyone that would talk to me. Finally,  Reese, from dance, said you went upstairs with a boy."

She took a deep breath. "I knew you would never do such thing. I grabbed Jacob and Dalton and raced upstairs and started checking all the rooms. Jacob found you first. You were completely unconsicous on the bed. Your underwear was missing." My face went pale, as it had confirmed my fears. 

I felt a tear slowy crawl down my cheek. 

"It's okay. I'm here. Everyone has your back. We will sort this out."

My tears only answered in respone. 

Kylie got up and sat on the edge of the bed. She hugged me, the first full embrace I had gotten all night. "Repeat after me." 

"W-what?" I stutter, confused. 

"Just do it." she said. I nodded.

"We're going to eat cookies, go to sleep, and everything will be okay."

"We're going to eat cookies, go to sleep, and everything will be okay." I repeated, the words sounding foreign on my lips. 

"Here." she handed me a plate of chocolate chip cookies. I slowly took one and bit into it, but it tasted like sawdust in my mouth.

She hands me a water bottle, opened. I drank at least half of it, not realizing how thirsty I was until now. "What time is it?" I asked.

"It's 2:35 AM" 

"Oh god, I've kept everyone up this long. Where's Jacob? And Lin?" I asked. 

Kylie looked at me. She held my hand so tight, it might've broken my bones. "After we found you, we got you to the hospital. They called Lin and Vanessa. And then Renee and Pippa showed up too. I pretty sure the whole cast knows. And Jacob..." her voice trailed off. 

"What? What happened?" I implored. 

"I rode with you on the ambulance to the hopsital. Jacob didn't come. He got a description from Reese and he's went looking for him. But he hasn't answered anyone. Lin, Vanessa, me, or his family. They're frantic."

I slid off the bed, forgetting all about my situaion. "Where is my phone? I'll call him, tell him I'm okay, oh god, where is he?" I shouted frantic. 

The door opened and Vanessa came in. "You shouldn't be up, Ella."

"Jacob! He's missing! Something could've happened!" I half-screamed.

"Ella, calm down." Pippa came in and sat me down. Renee ushered Kylie out the room. 

I sat down on the bed, against my will. "The police are on it." Vanessa assured me, but it only made me feel more hollow inside. 

Renee's phone rang. "Jazzy wants to see you. She's at home but here." She hands my her phone and I answered the facetime from Jasmine. 

"Ella, hang in there. I know its hard. I'll be with you in the morning. We all will be. Ok girl? You are strong, amazing, and it will get better." Jazzy assured, looking tired with a big bump.

"Hey, if you're at rock bottom, you can only go up from here." I heard Anthony say off to the side, sleepily.

"Hey!" Jasmine chastied. "Don't listen to him, you're are one of the strongest people I know. I'll see you in the morning."

Seeing the support, and hearing Anthony's voice made me smile. 

"I'm okay." I said, facing the the group. "Get some sleep. I feel bad for getting you guys up so late." 

"Are you sure, Ella?" Pippa asked. "Renee made Kylie go home, do you want one of us to stay?"

"I'll stay. I don;t have to wrk tommorow. Lin is home with Seb." Vanessa said.

Renee and Pippa left grudginly, but promised to come tommorrow. 

Vanessa fell asleep quickly, leaving me staring into the dark room. 

"Jacob, come back to me. I need a miracle. Please." I begged into the darkness. "I need you right now." 

Fatigue eventually caught up to me. But my racing mind had one last thought before sleep overtook me. 

I'm so helpless.

Author's Note: For anyone, going through hard times, there is hope. There will always be light the end of the tunnel. You are strong enough to walk towards it. The sun is always there to shine, no matter how many clouds are blocking it.