Secret Admirer

Chapter 13

"You say I'm crazy! Cause you don't think I know what you've done!" I sang as loud as I could throughout my house. The house might be big and empty but it's perfect. It has lots of peace and quiet. I've been living here for two and a half years. I don't really even remember what it's like to have a roommate. I know what you're thinking. You live alone and have no friends? No. I am best friends with O2L, Jenn Mcallister, Andrea Russet, Lohanthony, Andrew Lowe, Rebecca Black, etc. I'm not lonely.
"Hello! Anyone home?!"
"Yes. I'm in the kitchen Kian."
"Oh hey."
"Where's Jc?"
"He's grabbing something from the car."
"Okay. What is he grabbing?"
"Oh nothing."
"You're lyin!"
"I'm not! He's grabbing a box that has some stuff we want to give you."
"Okay. What is it?"
"Some old posters, and lamps."
"Okay. Thanks."
I began to stare out into space when Kian shook me.
"You okay?"
"Yea. Just thinking of some old times." I looked down and took in a deep breath.
"Are you sure you're okay? You've never told us about your past. Did something bad happen?"
"No... I don't like to dwell on the past. The past brings back your worst fears."
"Deep. Well don't be sad it's your birthday!" He said smiling and shaking me like crazy.
"I know."
"And besides nothing is bad as long as I'm here." He said laughing.
"Everything is bad when you're here." I said laughing.
"What?!"
"My house is always wrecked when you're here."
"Not true."
"Okay. Just last week my vase broke because you wanted to show of your cartwheel skills."
"That's once."
"Not to mention my fan blade fell off because you decided to throw the pillows in the air. And my door knob came out, my light bulb...."
"Alright I'm a wreck. I'll make it up to you. How about I take you to dinner?"
"You sure about that?"
"Absolutely. You are always hard working. You need a break."
"Okay."
"Tomorrow at 7."
"Happy Birthday!" Yelled Jc carrying a cake.
"You lied."
"Sorry." Kian said laughing.
"Happy Birthday Sabrina."
"Thanks Jc."
They opened the cake and as I was looking at it Kian pushed my head into it. I looked up and Jc had his phone out recording. They started laughing and I looked dead at Kian. I jumped over the counter and he started running. I ran after him and I ran outside but couldn't find him. Finally he jumped out of the bushes but pushed me in the pool. Luckily I was able to grab him and drag him in with me. We popped out of the water and I smacked him. He pulled me under and kissed me. We came above the water and he pushed my hair out of my eyes.
"Happy birthday."
"Thanks."
I swam to the steps and as soon as I got out Kian picked me up and carried me into the pool again.
"Kian!"
We got out and I stood there shivering. Kian wrapped his arm around me and hugged me. I wrapped my arms around him and snuggled my head into his chest.
"Awe look at the happy couple we have here."
"Is Jc recording?"
"Yep."
"Jc!"
"I got everything."
"Whatever." I said.
Jc handed us some towels and we ran inside. I went upstairs and changed into some jeans, and a light blue crop top.
I came out and threw some clothes at Kian.
"Here are some clothes."
"Thanks."
He went in the bathroom. I put my hair in a bun and fixed my makeup. I walked out and went downstairs.
"So what are you doing tonight?" Asked Jc.
"I'm probably just going to lay around and watch Netflix."
"What?! On your birthday?"
"Yea I'm not that big on my birthday."
"No. I refuse that. I'm taking you to dinner tonight. Where something nice." Kian said.
"Okay. What do you want to do now?"
"Well first I have something to give you." Kian said.
"What is it?"
"Just hold your horses."
He went outside and came back with a box. He handed it to me and I slowly opened it. Inside the box was my favorite sweatshirt of Kians.
"But this is your favorite sweatshirt too Kian."
"I know but you're more important than a sweatshirt. I knew how much you loved it."
"But you love it."
"But I love you more. That's not all."
"Kian you don't have to give me anything else."
"Non sense. It's going to have to wait till later though."
"That's fine no present can ever top you. I love you Kian."
"I love you too."
"I am the luckiest person in the world."
"No that's me."
I laughed and pecked his lips.
"Ahem I'm still here." Said Jc.
"Oh yea totally forgot you were here." said Kian.
"Alright now you guys can either stay here or go home, cause I have to go get a dress for tonight."
"Can I come?" Asked Kian.
"No."
"Please."
"Fine but what about Jc?"
"Its fine I have to go get an outfit for tonight too."
Kian gave him a look that seemed a little to odd.
"Where are you going tonight Jc?"
"Uh... I have a date."
"With who?"
"With.. Jenn."
"You have a date with Jenn?"
"Yes I do."
"Huh. I'll have to ask her about it tomorrow."
"Okay."
He and Kian walked outside while I grabbed my purse. I looked out the window and Kian slapped Jc in the back of the head. I walked outside and I hugged Jc.
"Bye."
"Bye." I got in my car and Kian got in the drivers spot. He backed up and we began our drive to the mall.
"So tell me about yourself."
"Well my names Sabrina. I'm dating a total doofus. My best friends are strange. Life's good."
He began laughing.
"So is this boyfriend dashingly handsome?"
"No.... He is perfect."
"Well he sounds like a nice guy."
I began laughing. He grabbed my hand and kissed it. He held my hand as he drove.
"I love you so much."
"I love you more than anything. I'm so lucky to have you."
"I'm even more lucky to have you. I don't know how you do it?" He said.
"Do what?"
"Deal with me. Also how do you win over people's hearts so easily?"
"It's not easy. You have to try and fix the hole in their heart before they can love you." I said.
"You are amazing you know that?"
"Stop. You're so cute."
I played with his fingers as we pulled up to the mall. We got out and dodged a group of girls. We walked into a dress shop and I started to look around. I grabbed a couple dresses and walked over to Kian. He grabbed a dress for me to try on and I headed towards the dressing room. I tried on the first dress which was a red flowing dress. I walked out and showed Kian.
"Nah. I mean it looks beautiful on you but not your style."
"You're right."
I went back into the dressing room and tried on the second dress which was a gold shiny long dress. I shook my head and walked out.
"I don't like it." I said.
"Nope."
I walked into the room and tried on the final dress which Kian gave me. It was a dark blue tight dress with a gold strap that goes around my neck. (I will put a pic in the next chapter.)
I walked out and Kian stared at me.
"You look gorgeous."
"I love it. You have good taste."
"Well I do have a sister who always made me go with her."
I laughed and walked back in the dressing room. I grabbed the other dresses and hung them on the wrack. I took the dress I want and walked to the counter with Kian. I pulled out my wallet but Kian had already given the guy his card.
"Kian. You already have paid enough for me."
"No. I want to buy it."
"I'm not even going to argue with you this time."
"Good you've learned."
The man handed me the dress. He looked at how I was staring at Kian and smiled.
"I was young when I married my wife. We would look at each other just like you two do."
"I am so lucky to her. Thanks."
We walked out and I grabbed his hand. He pulled me close to him and put his arm around me as we walked. We got to the car. He pulled out and we started the drive back to my place. We got to my house and I looked at Kian.
"I love you. Thanks for an amazing birthday."
"It's not over. And I love you. Now go get ready. I'll pick you up at 7 okay?"
"Okay."
I leaned in and he melt half way. Sparks is an understatement when I kiss this boy. It feels more like an explosion in my stomach. I pulled back and pecked his cheek. I grabbed my dress and got out. I went inside and ran upstairs. I took a deep breath in and fell on my bed. Life couldn't get any better. That's when I started to think about my past. I really should tell Kian. He says he loves me but he knows nothing about my past. It's my fault I push the past away. I push people away. I don't want to tell him about my past because it might ruin our relationship or his friendship with them. I ruin everything. I'm the one who ran away from my problems. I'm the one who pushes people away so I won't get hurt. I'm the one who ignores her old friends calls so she won't have to remember the hurt of leaving. It's all me. I began to think of these things as I went into the bathroom and grabbed a razor. I was about to cut when I remembered I'm going to eat with Kian. He'll ask about it. I put it down and started the water for my shower. I got in and did the essentials. I finally got out and did my makeup and hair. I decided to curl my hair and did nice makeup. I put on my dress and some dark blue high heels. I grabbed a gold clutch and threw in my phone and some money. I went down stairs and looked at the clock. 6:50. Wow I'm actually not late for once. I stood by the door as I heard Kians car door shut. I ran up stairs to make an appearance.
"Babe?"
I walked down the stairs and he stared at me. He looked handsome. He wore a nice suit.
"You look even more gorgeous then you already are."
"And might I say you look dashingly handsome."
"Thank you. Now I do believe we have a date to go on."
"We do."
He grabbed my hand and walked me to his car. He opened the door for me and I got in.
"Why thank you."
He ran to his side and got in. He handed me a blind fold.
"Put it on. I don't want you to see where we are going."
"Okay..."
I put it on and he grabbed my hand.
The drive was amazing. We sat and talked about life and everything going on. We finally got to the restaurant. He let go of my hand and I heard his door shut. I felt my door open. He grabbed my hand and began to lead me to the restaurant.
"Can I look now?"
"Nope."
We got inside and I felt the air blow against my skin.
"You can take it off now."
I began to take it off. It was dark and I couldn't see anything.
"Surprise!"
Everybody jumped out.
"Oh my gosh. Did you plan this Kian?"
"Yea. But I couldn't have done it without the guys."
I leaned up and kissed Kian. I pulled back and stared him in the eyes.
"You know you are... You are amazing."
"I know." he started laughing.
"I'm gonna go say hey to everyone. You want to go talk to the guys?"
"Yea. I'll meet up with you later."
"Okay love you."
"Love you more."
I pecked his cheek and I began to walk up to Rebecca and Jenn.
"Hey guys. Thanks for coming."
"You were surprised weren't you?"
"Absolutely."
"I'll be back I'm gonna say hi to everyone."
I began walking around saying hello to everyone. There had to have been at least 100 people there.
I was talking to Bethany when I saw none other then Nash, and the rest of the guys.
"Oh my gosh."
"What?" She asked.
"It's my exes."
"What?! Why are they here?"
"Because they are Kians friends."
"Oh no."
I got closer to them but not close enough for them to see my face. I turned around at the bar so they wouldn't see me.
"This party is awesome." Said what sounded like Cam.
"Yea it's for Kians girlfriend." Said Nash.
"Who is she?" Asked Matt.
"Uh I don't know. We need to meet her to make sure she's a keeper. He said she's gorgeous. He said he's never felt more in love before." said Nash.
"Isn't that her?" Said Cam.
Fear began to run through my body. I could feel them getting closer. As they got closer I got up.
"Hey aren't you..." started Nash.
"I'm sorry I have to go."
I started to run away. I didn't turn around I just ran away. I ran towards the back of the club. I stood there taking in breaths. I was fixing my hair when someone slapped my butt.
"Excuse me!"
I turned around and saw some tall muscular guy.
"Hey babe."
"Leave me alone."
I began to walk away when he grabbed my arm.
"Let me go."
"Not till I'm done with you."
He grabbed me and began to pull me away.
"Kian! Kian! Help!"
He covered my mouth and brought me into a room. It had a bed and a couch.
"Take off your clothes."
"No."
"Now!"
"No!"
"Take them off or I will rip them off."
"Kian! Kian!"
"Take them off now!"
He took out a knife and looked at me. I slowly took off my dress.
"Take it all off."
"Kian!"
"Shut up."
He came close to me with a shot that had some green stuff in it that didn't look good.
"Kian! Kian!"
He was about to jab it in me when Kian, Jc, Matt, Nash, and Cam barged in.
"What the fuck are you doing with my girlfriend?!"
"You're girlfriend? No she's mine."
"Kian!"
He tried to jab it in me but I ducked and the guys came at him. I grabbed the shot. The guys began beating him up. Kian got up and came to me.
"Are you okay?"
"Y-yea."
"Come here."
He hugged me and I wrapped my arms around him beginning to cry a little.
I let go and put my dress back on. I sat down with Kian and he held me so close to him.
"I'm so sorry this happened to you Sabrina. This is all my fault."
"It's not your fault."
"Yes it is. If I wouldn't had invited him or had this party this wouldn't have happened to you."
I pushed his face so he was looking me in the eyes. I leaned in and kissed him. I pulled away and looked him in the eyes.
"This isn't your fault. And it didn't happen all the way. I'm fine."
He grabbed my cheek and rubbed his finger over it. He kissed my forehead. I turned to look at the guys and the man was knocked out on the floor.
"Thanks guys for saving me."
"No problem you're like my sister." said Jc.
Nash, Cam, and Matt just stared at me.
"Sabrina?" Asked Matt.
"Hello guys."
You know them?" Asked Kian.
"Yea. Part of my past."
"Why did you ignore our calls?" Asked Matt.
"One because I made a new life. Two I moved on. Three I quite frankly didn't want to talk to you."
He just looked down.
"I'm sorry..." Matt began.
"It's in the past."
"You forgive me?"
"I never said that. I just said it's in the past."
"Sabrina you said you would keep in touch." said Nash.
"Things change. I'm done talking about this."
"But we aren't. You can't just leave us and then see us two and a half years later and expect us to not have questions." said Cam.
"You can ask away but I'm not answering. Goodbye guys."
"Why are you acting this way?!" Asked Matt.
"The past changes you. I'm stronger now. I moved on it's about time you do the same."
"How are we supposed to move on when you just leave us?! I loved you Sabrina! You left me." said Nash.
"I left because I needed a new start. I'm happy now. You didn't need me then you don't need me now. I don't love you anymore. Now if you'll excuse me I would like to go dance with my boyfriend."
"You've defiantly changed Sabrina but not for the good. You're acting like a bitch. Now if that's the new you go ahead leave because I defiantly don't want to be friends with a cold hearted bitch." Said Matt.
I looked down.
"I defiantly don't want to be friends with my ex who cheated on me with a desk lady. Not only to cheat on me but get her pregnant. And I most defiantly don't want to be friends with my other ex who betrayed me and called me a bitch for some hoe. I also don't want to be friends with someone who also betrayed me and left me."
"I'm glad I called you a bitch because I would be stuck with you right now." Said Nash.
I looked down and began to feel the tears. I looked at Kian.
"Now you know my past."
I ran out and toward the exit. People tried to stop me. Everyone stared at me.
"Sabrina!"
I kept running till I caught a taxi. I jumped in and told them my address.
"Please hurry."
He sped to my house. When we got there I threw him the money and I jumped out running to the door. I ran up stairs and to my room locking the door. I change into jeans and Kians sweatshirt. I began to cry as I laid on my bed. I got up and went into the bathroom. I got out my razor and pulled my sleeve back. I pulled up my sleeve high enough to make sure the blood wouldn't get on my sweatshirt. I took in a deep breath and I made the first cut. The feeling stinging at first but feeling soothing afterwards. One for being a slut, one for my past, one for being me, one for them, one for living. I put the razor down and I began to clean up. I wrapped my arm. I pulled my sleeve over my arm.
"Babe!"
I hurried up and went downstairs.
"Sabrina."
He ran up to me and hugged me. He grabbed my arms pulling me close. I sucked in to keep from crying from the pain. He released from the hug and led me to the couch. He held my arms in his hands. I tried to hold in my breath to keep from showing the pain but it didn't work. I pulled my arms back.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing." I said quickly.
He gave me a look and grabbed my arms again.
"Owh!"
I pulled back fast.
"What did you do? Give me your arms."
"No."
"Give me your arms."
He grabbed my arms and pulled up the sleeves revealing the bandage. He peeled back the bandage revealing my cuts.
"Sabrina?"
He began to cry.
"I'm so sorry Sabrina. This is all my fault. If I wouldn't have had that stupid party you wouldn't have cut. Can I se your razors?"
I nodded and I lead him upstairs to the bathroom. I pulled it out and he grabbed it. He handed it back to me and had it ready to cut.
"Cut me."
"What?! No."
"Do it."
"No!"
"Cut me for every time I wasn't there for you."
I began to cry and I threw it in the toilet flushing it.
"I can't Kian I love you."
"If you can't do it to me then why do you do it to you?"
"Because I don't love myself."
"But I do. I love you. I don't want to see you hurting yourself. I love you to the moon and back."
"I love you so much."
He leaned down and kissed my cuts.
"I love you. When you hurt yourself you hurt me. Every time you cut you are going to cut me."
"I can't."
"Then don't cut."
"Okay."
"I love you so much. You are the most gorgeous and wonderful girl in the world." He wrapped them up. He then led me downstairs and there stood everyone.
"What are you guys doing here?"
"We came to see if you were okay. I mean the party's a bust anyway without you." said Jenn.
I laughed. I was about to go down the stairs when Kian stopped me. It's time for that last present.
"Okay."
He grabbed my hand and led me outside. There was a pathway made of rose petals leading to the woods. Hanging from tree to the next was a string of Christmas white lights. We got to this big open area in the woods. Below us was a meadow of flowers. On each tree around us there was a carving in it. I walked up to one. It had a reason why Kian loved me. I looked at another and it had another reason why he loved me. I went back to Kian and he grabbed my hand.
"I love you so much Sabrina. You are my world. You have always been the one to be there for me. I want it to stay that way. You are my beginning, I want you to be my end. I love you so much. My world would stop without you. You understand me like no other. You see the world differently from everyone else. They say young love never lasts but ours is forever." he got down.
"Will you do me the honor of marrying me?"
I looked at him and began to cry.
"Kian....."