Never have I ever Bevi Fanfiction. COMPLETED-

Chapter six- Therapy

Ben POV
I watched as Devi left and I sighed and went to the bathroom to wash and disinfect my hand.
Stupid Ben! You done it wrong! Stupid! I growled and chucked the bandage across the room.
Devi's not my girlfriend anymore.. The one thing stopping me is gone.. Is this the universes way of telling me how much I deserve to die?!
I run my right hand through my hair and stare at my body in the mirror.
I haven't ate since Friday..
I looked at my eyes and look away.
I stare at my left arm and all the bandages on it.
I take them of and just leave it of.
My left hand has bandages on and my rights to.
I look at my left arm and see some some scars and I look away.
I put my jumper back on and my gloves and make it to school.
My therapy starts today.. I don't wanna go..
I have to..To show them I'm getting better..
I can't believe I let hem figure it out..
Why should that stop me?
I sighed and walked into class trying to calm my thoughts.
My grandad Mike is cool. I hope I'll see him again. I got his phone number and Mum promised I'd see him now. She said if it would help me with my depression then she'd do it.
I chuckled at her remark.
"Pfft I'm not depressed!"
I can't stop thinking that I am.. Poole will just call me attention seeking even though I've pretty much hid my pain for 5 weeks.
I then remembered mine and Devi's fight and fly my chest feel heavy.
We're not together anymore..
Why don't you just die Ben?
I exhaled a shaky breath and rested my head in my arms waiting for class to start. So then school could finish.
I finish cutting my arm up. I'm cutting with a knife I stole from my kitchen.
The blood drips onto the floor and my arms are both shaking..
I closed my eyes and tried to hope nobody wants to see my arms anytime soon.
I stare at the blood dripping and how much my arm aches and smiled.
You deserve this Ben..
I do.. Devi doesn't love me anymore.. She never has. Shes head over heels for Paxton and his good looks.. what have I got?
I bandage up my arm and wait for the bell to ring.
Schools soon over and I make my way to therapy.
Mike drives me and we spoke no words to each other. He's silent and it's driving  me crazy.
I know he's thinking about what happened last night.
"Ben.. What's wrong?", He said as Devi left.
I looked up at him feeling my arm bleed.
"I hate everything. I'm sorry! I just get guilty and..I'm addicted to it.. I went to see if he could beat me up again but he couldn't give me The pain I deserve!", I tried to explain.
He looks at me and hugs me.
"It's ok. Let it out my boy."
I tremble and try my best to stop myself from spilling anything else.
"It started with Paxton.. Hurting me.. Then dad died.. I tried not to give in to his words but it got to much.. After I went round his house and nearly died..", I trailed of a little bit there. "He didn't even care..and after a date with Devi he texted me all sorts of mean things.. I tried to sleep.. It wouldn't leave me alone..", I trembled and he pulled of the hug.
"What wouldn't leave you alone?Him?"
I shook my head and look away form him.
"The devil.. I call it.. It was begging me to.. I-I urm went to the bathroom to wash my face and I just snapped when I saw myself and I smashed the mirror with my right fist...", I slowly trialed of and nervously chuckled.
"What.. Happened next?"
I gulped and looked at the mirror shard and back to him.
"Ooh.. Ben..", he looked at me and I couldn't look him in the eye.
"I'm fine!", I lied and he grabbed my arm causing my body to fill with pain.
"Those are fresh.", He said and I pulled my arm of him. How could he see it by my reaction?!
"N-No! I'm not a cutter!", I said and he looked at me and exhaled.
"Ben.. You can just admit it.. I won't tell you all the bullshit.. I'm your grandad and well I wanna get to know you better that's all.", he said and I hugged him.
"I..I..I can't.", I sobbed and he rubbed my back.
"I want things to go back to before Dad died!", I sobbed and realised how stupid and pathetic that is.
"Can you take your jumper of son?", He asked and I looked at him quizzically but I sighed taking it of.
He stared at my shittly done bandages and the red appearing on them.
"Look I can explain it was from the accident when you nearly hit me with your car.", I lied and he sighed.
"Lie all you want.. But why where you out at night?"
I clenched my fists.
No one must know about my devil thoughts.. Those gripping chilling annoying thoughts.
"I needed some air.", I lied and he seemed to take it.
"Ok but why didn't you see my car?"
"You where driving like a lunatic!! I was merely crossing the road and your driving at like what 60!", I shouted defensively and he sighed.
"Well I'll slow down but still.. You definitely was like walking like you where in a trance or something.. Wait you were trying to get hit where you?"
I flinch and nervously chuckled.
"Pfttt your crazy man!! Ofcourse I wasn't I told you I was walking and I didn't see your car!"
The more the lied spilled and I was sure he could see the truth.
Yes I'm a cutter.. I don't know if I can stop.
He sighed and he left he picked up the mirror piece though and chucked it in a bin.
I gritted my teeth and exhaled.
Shitttt. The truth was so close at coming out.. I'm sure he knows I've been cutting he just ain't saying it. Maybe this is what he wants me to think.
I ran a hand through my hair and walked to my bed to see Devi asleep.
I kissed her forehead and soon fell asleep next to her forgetting to put my hoodie on though.
He pulls his car up and I hop out before he could say anything to me.
I entered the building and looked at my surroundings.
Loads of pottery and the walls where white and it all looked posh.
I walked to the counter and asked the counter lady when's my session.
"Excuse me dear?"
"My therapy session.. When is it?", I asked and she files her nails and stared at me.
"Um now and your late.", She said and I stared st her and rolled my eyes.
She can't say anything because it could "increase negativity", whatever the fuck that means.
I sighed and sat down waiting for my name to be called.
I sat in some uncomfortable plastic chairs and tried not to hurt my newly bleeding arm.
"Ben Gross?", a young woman said and I peeked up and she smiled at me.
"You must be Ben, I'm your therapist Tasha.", she said and goes to shake my hand but I stare at her and she retracts it back.
"So do you want to go into a more comfy room?"
I nodded and followed her through to one of the nice rooms.
I don't get how this shit is supposed to help me with my depression.
I slump down on the couch and she sits across fork me drinking a cold glass of water.
Tasha is a tall skinny woman who has a raven colour hair in a pony tail and black glasses. Her eye colour is brown and she radiates of a very bossy vibe.
"Water?"
I shaked my head and she smiled.
"So from what I've been told, your dads died recently, you've just found it your adopted, and your girlfriend had dumped you. I'm correct right?", She said and I looked down feeling the devil start to whisper.
"Ben. I need you to give me an answer."
"Yes. Your correct.", I snapped and she smiled again infuriating me.
Little miss know it all!
I clench my fist hoping to calm down.
"And you've started self harming.. From what I've heard that and the way you didn't want to shake my hand..", She said in a calm monotone manner. I grit my teeth and move positions.
She smiled again and sips from her glass.
"You get agitated over the smallest thing Gross.", She said and I smiled to her.
"Oh yes Ofcourse I do Tasha.. Not like I have a shit therapist!", I snapped and that stupid smile appears on her face.
"Hmm.. Intresting.. Your a case for sad eyes.. Oh dads dead! Ooh mean dudes bullying me! Get a grip you big sissy! Just accept that no one cares and I'm getting paid to drink vodka and council stupid white people. Especially you.. Your mum was begging my company to therapy you.. Your a sad sack of shit you know that. I'm surprised you haven't even shagged that ex of yours. A little player like yourself.", She said and every word cut into me.
"Oh I know I'm breaking you.. Just admit it you stupid worthless ugly little bastard! Or are you not going to cut yourself more tonight and the next and the next until you finally decide to overdose on your mums meds.. Yes I know she's a druggie now.. Such a shame she—"
"SHUT UP YOU DRUNK BITCH!", I shouted and stood up form the sofa.
"SHUT UP AND GET ME A FUCKING GLASS TO!", I shouted and she trys to grab the bottle but I pull it of her I downed it and felt my throat burn.
"Yes underage drinking! What next.. Wanna bang You skinny bitch?", I said my mind becoming drunk.
"No your like 15.", She said and I mentally slapped myself. She was writing stuff down aswell.
"What do you want to do with your life Ben? Do you wanna die soon? By suicide? OD?"
"Oh.. Y-Your So right!! I So NeEd To FuCkInG OveRDoSE!", I slurred and she smiled and then she tells me one thing.
"You stupid boy.. I'm not even drunk.. Welcome to therapy.", She smiled and I burp and slump on the sofa.
"WHaT Do YoU mEaN?", I slurred and she chucked.
"Tell me your thoughts.", She said and I sighed.
"I wanna die. I miss Devi so bad!", I sobbed and she rolled her eyes.
"Drama Queen.", She sighed and I slammed the bottle on the table.
It Ofcourse smashes.
"I'm no drama Q-Queen!", I slurred and realised my hand had glass in.
I then saw a sharp bit and took it and shoved it in my pocket for later.
She wrote that down aswell.
"Ah! Let me get a doctor for your hand.", she said and I push her on the the sofa.
"No you won't you just stay here. I was never here-hiccup- ok?", I slurred and she frowned.
I then stumbled back to mike and he stared at me mostly confused.
"I don't think I wanna go back there.", I slurred and he nods.
"I don't wanna be anywhere." I sink into my seat and then puke out the window.
"Shit!", I shouted and sobbed into the windowsill.
"I'm so drunk Mike.. I-I don't feel so.. Good..", I slurred and then I feel sick again and luckily get it out my system by pissing myself..
He stared at my hand and pulls a piece of glass out luckily the alcohol numbs the pain..
I go straight to my room and change my trousers. I flop on my bed and try and fall asleep for a little bit.. I failed..
My heads banging and I sit up trying to remember anything.
I hear arguing and I know its mike and mum.
The devil starts to whisper.. Go cut yourself Ben if you know what's good for you!! YOUR CAUSING THIS PAIN!! JUST GROW UP AND KILL YOURSELF ALREADY!!.. I walk into the bathroom and slice deep into my arm.
"Ah shit!", I stop as the pain gets to much.
I then look at my left arm I had just down two new cuts and they where deep..
You should let them drip Ben..
That's what I did..
I let hem drip until I became dizzy..
I leaned on the sink and washed it with water..
I then dis infected it and wrapped a bandage around it.
I'm surprised nobody was knocking on my door but then again I did lock it..
I sighed and looked at myself in the newly installed mirror.
Maybe I should just let them drip..
Nobody cares about me anyway..
I sighed and sat on the floor staring at the blood covered glass shard.
I then chucked it in the bin and made my way to my bed before falling asleep to hopefully never wake up from again..

Author note
HERES ANOTHER CHAPTER!!!
I HAVE ALSO WRITTEN A NEW STORY CALLED THE NEW LEGENDS OF MONKEY ONE SHOTS!!! CHECK IT OUT ON MY ACCOUNT!!
I'm so sorry If I may have infuriated anyone who is actually a therapist.. Don't worry the woman's a fictional character and I have full respect for therapists.
Also Mike is becoming a fav character!!
That and the next chapter will be back to switching POVs
Bye! Stay safe and recycle plastic!!