Life in the Midst of COVID-19 (Published by Ukiyoto Publishing)

March 2020 (Part 3)

March 19, 2020. This was the day we started facing the catastrophe. It was because my mother was showing her symptoms of her nervous breakdown. My mother experienced nervous breakdown for four times already. She started  having this kind of illness when I was in grade 6. She couldn't sleep for almost three or four days. She kept waking up my father, my younger, or me in the night, midnight, or even dawn. Her nervous breakdown would attack when she's facing big problems and she wouldn't express that to anyone. Another factor was when she felt hopelessness and doubts in some things. It was really hard because she wouldn't sleep even daytime. She kept her eyes open and then told us  such as "I have a big problem. I think God left on my side. I think God is angry on me for I didn't obey his rules perfectly. I am a bad person." One time, I asked her why she didn't go to sleep. She just replied,"If I will sleep, God will no longer shower blessings to me." or "Someone will kill me."

Later, my oldest brother called my father that he would come home so that they could meet my uncle. My uncle pawned his land to my family because he needed the money urgently. He had a serious disease on his liver and he needed to go to a doctor that's why he needed the money.

At first, my father didn't allow my mother to go with him in processing the papers but my mother insisted. She thought that if my father would not allow her to go with him, she would feel that she doesn't belong to the family anymore. So, my father let her go with him even if my father wanted her to rest instead. They went there and signed all the documents of the land together with my brother. It was really successful and my brother bought the secondhand video karaoke from my uncle. I was really happy because before I just imagined that I would sing on a video karaoke with my family. Though I didn't have that golden voice but I believed the fun and bonding with my family was priceless. And finally, that imagination did come true.

Unfortunately, my mother's condition was getting worse the next day. She couldn't sleep and intensely felt nervous. there were a few of people who were present in our house because they helped in carrying the video karaoke from the street to our home but she couldn't entertain them.

Honestly, our home is a little bit far from the street. I think it is 50 meters from the street to our home. Vehicles or cars cannot enter in our place but only motorcycles because the path is so narrow.

We were so grateful because our neighbors helped us in carrying the video karaoke for free. Yes! The bayanihan is still existing in our place.

In continuation, we were so worried about the condition of my mother. So we decided to contact my older brother to go to my mother's doctor and buy the medicine for her. We contacted my brother through cellphone early in the morning. But until late in the morning, we didn't receive any message from him. We couldn't contact him anymore too. My father was really furious because if my mother wouldn't be able to take her medicine, her condition would get worse until she couldn't recognize us anymore and would not be on her mind and would wild just like what happened before. We didn't want to happen that again.

My father left no choice but to contact my older brother. Fortunately, my older brother went to the doctor immediately. When he was there, he met my brother whom my father called firstly. They bought medicine and sent that for us thru a bus. We felt relieve when we knew that they successfully bought the medicine for my mother. We were really blessed because that's the last time that the clinic of my mother's doctor opened. The doctor said that they were not allowed to open their clinics starting from that afternoon due to the implementation of lockdown from the government. He said that my brother were lucky to reach the last minute of the opening of his clinic. Well, we were not lucky but we were blessed by God.

At four o'clock in the afternoon, my father went to town to get the medicine for my mother. When he went to the side of the street to wait the bus, a minute just passed and the bus appeared. It was a perfect timing. Suddenly, there were policemen approached my father and asked his age. That's the time we knew from those policemen about the curfew for senior citizens. The curfew turned more strict than before. According to them, when the clock stroked at exactly three o' clock in the afternoon, no senior citizens were allowed to roam and go outside from their home. The government implemented this for the safety of the people especially the older ones. As what I've heard from the news, senior citizens and the children are prone to the COVID-19. My father is not yet a citizen so he there's no problem about that.

When the night came, it was like a catastrophe for me once again. Late in the evening my father and my younger brother had a terrible misunderstanding. My brother was just asking something to my father and my father shouted to him in response. Perhaps due to the problems he was facing and he was a little bit drunk that's why he did that. My younger brother was just twelve years old and he was really sensitive. My brother cried and wanted to run away from our home. It was dark and cold outside when I tried to chase him. I was really problematic and I felt like I was the filling on a sandwich. My mother was not yet recovered from her nervous break down and right at that moment she was panicking because of my younger brother. My mother and I continued to chase my younger brother. I was so afraid that I might lose him. My panic anxiety attacked. I was shaking while running and I couldn't help but burst in tears while calling his name. I sighed in relief when he stopped from running. My knees were weakening when I hold his hand. I cried while saying, "Please don't go away." I didn't care if we were like a scene from a movie but that just the truth. Later, I thanked God for everything was alright as we head back to our home with my mother.

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BOTTOM LINE

1. During dark times, God will never abandon nor forsake you. He is just always by your side all the time.

2. Catastrophes, chaos, trials, challenges, pains and the like are just part of your life. God just wanted to test your authenticity as a gold that's why He gave those. Another, those things completed the ingredients of your life. Without those, your life will be boring and you'll never grow as an individual.

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Glory to God!