September 2020

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September 01. This day was great. I've realized that living in a simple life, I still found happiness. I went to the farm to help my younger brother in harvesting corn. It was so hot and not easy but we still enjoyed. I did mostly the household chores because my parents and my younger brother were really busy. My older brother was right. That teaching was not yet for me since my family me needed me more than I need that job. They're really busy that's why I did the cooking, washing the dishes, feed our four dogs, clean our home and others. It's a blessing to stay here for a while. I got to know more about myself and I improved myself in cooking (not to boast but I am just telling the truth). Sometimes, I just thought that maybe God let me live with my parents so that I could improve myself in cooking. It is because before I really don't kbow how to cook but now I am improving myself. I just smiled someties becaise I also thought that maybe God is preparing for me to be a mother and a wife material. Haha! Crazy as it may sound, right? Anyway, the point here is God turned my weaknesses into my strengths.

Sept. 02. I was really sad today. First my co applicant texted me and asked me if I was being texted or called by the private school where I applied before whether I was hired or not. I told her the truth. That the school only hired two teachers for high school department. After that she didn't reply. I hoped she didn't feel what I felt before when I heard the news. It's so painful.

Next, my mother was experiencing pain in her stomach. It's been how many days how she's suffering about it. But this day it became worst.

God please help her. God please heal my mother. It's very hard to see that she's sufferring. God please heal her. God please heal my mother. Please God. This I pray in Jesus' name. Amen.

Around 8 PM, we decided that we would go to our neighbor to ask help from them. Our neighbor is a faith healer. My mother wouldn't allow at first because they had a little bit misunderstanding with that neighbor of ours. But we had no choice because she was screaming in pain. We ran as fast as we could with my brother. I was out of breath when we were near at their house. I rested for while because it's not easy climbing a mountain. When we went there, we asked for help. We were so happy because they immediately responded even if it was really dark outside and that neighbor of ours was sick. When we reached our home my mother was alright. But still our neighbor helped her massaging her stomach and put a "medical oil" for her. She's alright. Praised the Lord. We're so happy. We talked a lot and laughed. Just like the old times. My kother was healed at the same their relationship with thet neighbor of ours! I've realized that it was still a blessing in disguise and a way that the good relationship with my parents and them would be connected once again.

Sept. 04. I was really angry to my parents for they didn't keep my graduation picture safely. I thought they kept it in a safe place for I spent effort just that picture be kept here in Samboan. I traveled from Cebu City to our hometown to give that picture to them.

It wasn't easy studying in college. I usually went to school without even a single centavo in my pocket. This is one of the reason why I suffered hyper acidity right now. I really liked to eat snacks and foods before but I didn't have money. So I controlled myself not to eat anything. When our instructor told us to have projects, buy books, or have some term papers to be photo copied, I was really problematic since I didn't have money. Praise the Lord! My friends gave me some money so that I can have those term papers. My friend gave me books, too. She also gave me clothes because she felt pity for me. I am poor and I will never lie about that. My parents are farmers. The crops that they produced from the farm are not enough to sustain their consumption everyday. They didn't have income so how can I ask money from them when they have nothing? My older sister has a child. That time her partner was the one who provided is everyday. I was staying on their boarding house. His income was not enough but they tried it to be enough so that I could study in college. My oldest brother helped me in his little way because he is already married and my two brother were studying college that time. So, he could not afford to support me every month since he needed to support my 2 brothers. It was really hard. I needed to walk how many kilometers everyday. Rain or shine I needed to walk since I couldn't afford to buy an umbrella. It was really tough.

Aside from that, I always cried because I didn't like English before. I wasn't good in communicating using English language. I stuttered and I didn't how to speak. I wasn't good in talking in front of many people. That's my greatest fear. I felt nervous and anxious at the same time plus I would experience metal block. I experienced that I got fainted when I wastalking in front. But almost everyday we had reports or presentation so I needed to talk ni front. In addition, I wasn't good in pronouncing words but my major is English. So, my professor asked me one time, "Are you on a right track? Come to think of it!" That hit me. It was painful and embarrassing but I have no choice but to face the truth. It was an "eye opener" for me. I was not angry to him because he just did his responsibility as my professor. He showed care and worry for me at the same time. He might think that if I continue to be like that, My degree would be a waste in the future and he didn't want that to happen. I've tried my best to conquer my fears and get out from my shell. It was really hard and it was not perfect. Though I didn't excel in my academics but praise the Lord, I made it.

When we had our thesis, it was really challenging. It was the peak of struggle for me in studying college. I reached to the point that I lost hope. But everything has an end. Praise the Lord we made it despite everything.

My point here is that they didn't value my hard work and struggles when I saw my graduation picture being ruined. It was painful to see that they didn't give value to it. I was really disappointed to them. I was really angry. I was really furious!

September 05. I was still furious to them. I didn't want to talk to them that's why I remained quiet.

Whenever I would be furious, it would be be better if I would just stay silent so that I wouldn't do bad things anymore. I admit that I am really hot tempered and if I would really, really angry, I would transform into a wild lion!

When afternoon came, I didn't feel furious to them anymore. I wanted to talk to them just like before but because of my pride, I hold back in talking to them. Suddenly, I've read on an article which talked about pride. It said there that, we should learn to set aside our pride. We only live once that's why we should learn to cherish it. We should learn to live in accordance with God's will in our life.

After reading that, I realized many valuable things. I learned to set aside my pride. I immediately talked to them as well as forgave them. Even if I would not talk to them forever, still, those pictures would not go back as the new ones. I also realized that I am living in the 21st century and this century I could consider that the world is technology-driven that's why there's no problem anymore about pictures and stuffs anymore.

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BOTTOM LINE

2. God put you on a tough situation so that you can learn from it. After, you can share those I earnings to other people so that they can learn as well. It is like God used you to serve as an instrument for others.

2. Love and respect your neighbors. Spread the love to them as well as to everyone.

3. Learn to set aside your pride.

4. Learn to forgive just like He forgives you.

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Glory to God!

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