Future Teacher Alana

Chapter 1

Future Teacher Alana

"Strangers, not so close friends, a random someone, a silent classmate; they all influence us in a way we don't notice."

HOW we see the world often contributes a lot to becoming someone we want to be, someone we are expected to be and someone we hope we shouldn't be. You see, life always surprises us. We may wake up one day forgetting our favourite song, hating our favourite food, loving the stares of the strangers and walking away from the things we used to love.

I stopped writing on the paper and stared at the ceiling. What line could be the best to continue
the paragraph? I heavily sighed as I pushed my head down to the table. Napapagod na ako. I've been writing since earlier pero hindi ko parin makompleto ang ginagawa kong essay. Bukas na ito ipapasa sa guro namin sa Edukasyong Pagpapakatao na subject pero heto ako at pinipiling isubsob ang mukha ko sa lamesa kaysa sa makipagtitigan sa papel ko.

"Ano ba Alana! Kakain na. Hindi ka parin ba tatayo diyan?" Sigaw ni Mama mula sa kusina. "Mamaya mo na nga gawin iyan. Maghuhugas ka pa ng plato pagkatapos nating kumain. Iyong mga sinampay nga sa labas, hindi mo pa kinukuha. At bakit madumi parin itong kaldero? Hindi ba't sinabi ko sa'yo kanina na hugasan mo ito? Buong araw na nga kayong nasa eskwelahan ng kapatid mo, hanggang ngayon ba naman ay nag-aaral ka parin? At nasaan na ba ang kapatid mo? Kanina ko pa 'yon inutusan na mag-igib ng tubig hanggang ngayon ay hindi pa umuuwi. Siguro naglalaro na naman iyon ng basketbol. Alana! Ano ba? Sinabi nang tumayo ka na diyan!"

I grumbled as I grumpily walked towards the kitchen. I wish I could tell my mother that I actually hated it when someone scolds me especially when I have things to do. Hindi na nga ako makapag-isip ng sagot, dindagdagan pa ni Mama. I wish I could tell her that I understand her being so tired lalo pa at galing siya sa sakahan pero pagod narin ang utak ko kahahanap ng sagot and her silence would be very much appreciated. And I wish I could tell her that I don't freaking know where the hell is my brother who is stubborn enough to not go home despite of the day getting close to dark. Kaya lang hindi ko masabi iyon at mas piniling umupo sa lamesang may nakahanda ng pagkain. Umupo si Mama sa harap ko tsaka ako pinandilatan. I knew it. Kahit pa hindi sabihin sa kanya ang mga iniisip ko, she probabaly had already figured out what I'm thinking just by looking at my face. Or so I thought.

"Anong mukha naman iyan, ha? Kung ayaw ninyong inuutusan, magsabi lang kayo. Hindi iyang sinisimagutan niyo ako. Alam niyo bang pagod na pagod ako galing ng sakahan tapos sinisimangutan niyo ako ng ganyan."

I peeked at her while she continues to rant about some random things. From there, I am positive that she'll talk all the way down to her history to give me - oh, geez! I wish my brother was here - an earful of lessons and learning.

Nagpatuloy kami sa pagkain. Maya-maya niyan, magiging ayos na siya at makikipagtawanan na ulit siya sa amin. I exactly know how this family works. I'm actually getting very used to it. And if I have to be honest, I sometimes get tired. You know, like we really hate it when parents compare us to our sibling or to other children but we also are guilty of doing the same thing. We can't help but to compare our parents to other parents. Like, what the hell? Can't they also be more sensitive? Can't they also treat me to a shopping? Can't they also buy me a brand new phone? And the list goes on. But still we face each other like nothing happened and then this undeclared war starts to grow familiar. But of course, we know better. Parents do it because they are stressed or they wanted us to be better -not a nice way but kind of effective- while we do it out of insecurity. There's a difference, a lame difference.

"UY! Si Alana may bagong sapatos. Papirma."

Ngunit bago pa ako makailag ay natapakan na niya ng maputik niyang tsinelas ang bagong-bago at puting-puti kong sapatos. "Ricoooooooooo!"