Mine To Love (manxman)

13-Burst My Bubble

JEREMY

Things had been going good between me and Frankie for the last few weeks. I hadn't told my parents about us yet but that was why I was currently walking through their front door.

"Mom, Dad?" I called out as I stopped to remove my shoes. My Mom had only recently made the no shoes rule since she'd gotten in new flooring.

"In the kitchen sweetie." My Moms voice floated out to the hallway. I followed the scent of fresh coffee and found my mother alone in the kitchen washing dishes.

"Why did Dad buy you a dishwasher if you aren't going to use it?" I came up behind her and placed a kiss on her cheek. My father had bought my mother the dishwasher as an anniversary present two years ago but my mother still insisted on washing everything by hand.

"God gave me two perfectly good hands. I'll use them for as long as he sees fit to let me." She rinsed off her hands before drying them on a towel beside her and turned to face me. "You look good son. I haven't seen you this happy in a long time. Has something happened?"

Before I could reply there was a loud clanging sound from outside and then a yelled curse. I could tell before I reached the back door that it was my father. I found him by his tool shed clutching his arm.

"Dad? What's wrong?" I could feel myself going pale as I took in the large gash in his forearm. The ladder leaning precariously against the side of the shed told its own tale.

"I was trying to fix that damn leak in my shed roof but the stupid ladder slipped. I must have hit against a nail or something on the way down." He tried to turn his arm for a better look at the damage.

"We need to get you to the emergency room. You need stitches and a tetanus shot." My mother told him. I could hear my father groan and I didn't blame him. The shot would likely hurt more than the cut and stitches combined. I'd had my fair share of them as a kid and I shuddered at the memories.

"I'll drive." I offered. It didn't take us long to reach the emergency room and I sat in the waiting area while my father was seen to. My mother had insisted on going in with him and no nurse would stand in her way. The waiting area was claustrophobic at best. An accident had come in while I was waiting and it seemed that the young mans entire family were here waiting for news. I decided to go outside and call Frankie to let him know what was happening.

I was leaning against the side of the building closest to the adjoining health centre scrolling through my contact list. I was about to hit the call button when something made me look up.

There she stood glaring daggers at me. Deb the bitch.

"I hear congratulations are in order." She didn't sound her usual surly self. In fact, the closer I looked at her the more I realised that she looked tired and unwell. She wasn't wearing her usual zillion pounds of make-up either. "You always wanted him, now you have him."

"I didn't make him break up with you Deb. You pushed him away all on your own." I wouldn't be labelled as some kind of home wrecker.

"All I wanted was for him to marry me. I didn't want to do this on my own, but he wouldn't even listen to me. He wouldn't let me tell him about the baby."

If she'd physically hit me I don't think it would have hurt as much as hearing those words. "Baby?" I gasped.

Deb blushed and looked away. She hadn't meant to tell me, I could see that by her expression. Frankie was going to be a daddy and I really was a home wrecker. I was in the way of Frankie being with his child on a full time basis. No way would the bitch let her child anywhere near me, so visits were probably out.

I felt physically sick.

"Are you going to tell him?" I asked her quietly. I was surprised I could still talk.

"I was going to but..."

"But not while I was there." I concluded.

"I wanted us to be a family, Jeremy. I wanted my child to grow up with his or her father. I wanted him to be a part of it all. The doctor's visits, the scans, the birth. I had this vision of the perfect family, he'd be there when the baby kicked for the first time and he'd have his hand on my stomach." I watched a tear escape her eye and trail across her cheek. "I don't want to do this alone. I can't do this alone. I was thinking of maybe going to Florida to live near my parents. They could help me out and I could stay with them until I could find a place of my own."

My throat burned and I silently cursed myself for what I would have to do. I couldn't ask Frankie to choose between me and his child. I knew he wouldn't pick me and I wouldn't blame him for his choice. But I knew Frankie, and he would forever blame himself for having to make that choice in the first place. So I would make that choice for him. I would make it so he'd never have to know, and he'd never look back.

"Give me twenty-four hours. Then tell him. Frankie will stand by you, I know he will." I pushed away from the building before she could even reply and went back inside to find my parents. I had to wait another forty-five minutes before they emerged. My father had been bandaged up and stitched and he was ready to go home where I was sure my mother would fawn over him.

My mother gave me a narrow eyed look. "Is everything alright love?"

I pasted a smile onto my too-stiff face and jangled the car keys. "Everything is fine." Such a lie. Everything was so far from fine that it was another planet in another solar system. "Did someone need a lift home?"

My father gave me a clap on the shoulder with his good hand. "Get me as far away from this place as you can. I never want to go through that again." He gave an exaggerated shudder.

"You should have called me." I scolded. "I would have done it for you."

"I'm not dead yet son. I'll take care of my responsibilities. That's something I taught all of you children."

His words struck a chord and I felt that burn in my throat once more. I hated Deb with everything in me, but she needed Frankie. She was having his child and if he'd known that before  us, then he'd never have chosen me. I was in the way of him having the family he'd often spoken of. He'd wondered if he could be a good father, if the person he loved would want kids. In my flights of fancy back then I'd thought it was his roundabout way of finding out if I wanted kids too. I'd have loved to have raised children with him, but it wasn't meant to be.

"Son?" My fathers voice brought me back from my sombre thoughts and I pushed them away.

"Lets go." Once I brought my parents home I stayed just long enough so that they didn't question me running away. At home I let myself fall apart. I knew I would have to face Frankie soon and I needed to let this out now so I could build up a façade he wouldn't see through. I needed him to believe me when I said those dreaded words.

It's over.