The Editor

19.Harry

“Fucking fuck.” Liam mumbles after Emma leaves. I looked at him; his head is in his hands his shoulders slumped. I remembered the last tour, how the stress of it all became too much for him, for all of us really but Liam always took everything harder than the rest of us. He always had to try to be perfect even if it meant breaking himself in the process.

“It won’t be as bad as last time.” I told him quietly. He looked at me.

“I hope you’re right.” He said. The other guys started talking, discussing dates. I got up and left the room, looking for Emma. I took a guess and went into the nearest women’s bathroom and found her leaning on the sink, pale and breathing hard.

“It’s not just morning sickness.” She said when she saw me. She sounded so miserable it physically hurt me.

“Let’s go home.” I said. She walked over and I wrapped an arm around her shoulder. She leaned into me slightly as we walked back to the studio. She hung back while I went to talk to the guys.

“Hey, Emma’s not feeling well. I’m going to take her home, I’ll be back tomorrow.” I said not waiting to hear their replies. I went back to Emma and wrapped my arm around her shoulders again. We hailed a cab and got in.

“Are we going to…?” I trailed off not sure how to finish my sentence.

“Do you feel you’ll regret not going on tour?” her voice was steady even though she was practically curled into a ball with her forehead against the cool window. I thought about it, I didn’t want to tell Emma that I was bored out of my mind, that I wanted something more than art galleries and film festivals. Could touring be that thing? I didn’t know.

“I…yes. If I don’t I will always wonder what would’ve happened if I went on tour one last time.”

“Then go, we can make it work. We have to.” I smiled at her and took her hand and raised it to gently kiss the back of it.

“This is one of the many reasons why I love you.” I said.

“I know.” She said. She suddenly lurched forward and opened the window separating her from the driver. “Pull over.” She said. The driver obliged and Emma opened the door and threw up out of the side of the cab. She finished, closed the door and told the diver to continue. I watched her with equal parts disgust and sympathy.

“This baby better be fucking adorable.” She said, leaning back in her seat and closing her eyes.