Save You Tonight (A Zayn Malik Fanfic)

Chapter 34

Okay, so I wrote this chapter while listening to Sea Of Love by Cat Power on replay and ohhhh my god. This song makes everything so much more emotional for me. So yeah, I think that's going to be the song for this chapter. 

Also, I'm so sorry this took so long for me to upload. I've been really sick and in and out of the hospital for the past week and a half, so I haven't had much time to update. I also went through and fixed some minor details in all of the previous chapters, so that took up a bit of time as well. Plus, I've been kind of putting this story off because I know it's going to be ending soon and that sort of bums me out.

Anyways, I hope you enjoy this chapter. There'll probably only be one or two left after this.

Chapter 34

Zayn's POV

"I don't even know what to do anymore." I said quietly, staring down at my hands, which were folded together in front of me while my elbows rested on my knees. The boys and I were gathered at Niall's and Liam's place for a much needed boy's night.

Ever since Alex lost the baby, things had been different. Its been two weeks and both Alex and I had began to cut off contact with most of the outside world. Neither of us wanted anything to do with anyone except for each other. We both took it harder than anyone would have expected.

"Zayn, things are going to get better." Liam consoled.

"Alex hasn't left the apartment since it happened." I sighed. "I can't say that I blame her. I barely have either."

I felt someone sit next to me. The cuddly-ness and slightly chewed fingernails told me that it was Niall. He wrapped a comforting arm around me, letting me know that he, as well as the others, were there for me.

"She's going to get through it." the Irish boy told me. "And so are you."

"How do you know that, Ni?" I questioned softly, tears forming in my eyes. "We lost a baby. Our fucking child died. It died and now I don't know what to do. How do you come back from that? How do you just move on after you lose a child?"

I was sobbing before I even finished my small rant. It felt like I was speaking more towards myself then to the boys. How would we move on from that? How would Alex and I be able to just continue on with our lives? The worst part of the whole thing was knowing how hurt Alex was from it. She and I were both ecstatic to have a child together, but as hard as it was on me, I knew it was harder for her. She was the one who had it growing inside of her. She was the one who put up with the morning sickness and all the cramps. She put up with all of it without any complaint, only to lose the baby.

Knowing Alex was hurting hurt me the most. It was different then all the times she was hurt by Conner. This time, I wasn't sure how to make it better. I didn't know how to take away her pain.

The boys were all quiet, letting me have a moment to let it all out. Niall rubbed my back and someone grabbed my hand, giving it a squeeze. When I calmed down a bit, a voice from right in front of me spoke up.

"Zayn," the deep, slow voice that I knew belonged to Harry said. "I know this must be hard. I can't even imagine what you and Alex are feeling right now. But you need to be strong. If not for you, then for Alex. She needs you, Zayn. She needs you to be strong for the both of you. I know you can do it. We'll be here for you whenever you need us, but right now, you need to help Alex realize that you're both going to be okay. None of us are going to be able to help her the way you're able to."

"I'm trying," I told him.

"I know you are," Harry said. "but Zayn, you have to try harder."

He was right. I needed to be stronger. I needed to be strong through this for Alex.

"I know," I sighed and Harry gave me a small smile. "I know. It's just hard."

"We're going to be here for you, though, mate." Liam assured me. Louis came over to sit next to me on the side that Niall wasn't currently taking up. He draped an arm over my shoulder, pulling me into his chest and hugging me tightly.

*

I quietly opened the door to my apartment and stepped in, shutting it just as quietly behind me as I kicked my shoes off.

"Zayn?"

I looked up and saw Alex sitting in the couch. Her face was completely clear of makeup like it had been for the past two weeks, which I didn't mind at all. Her black hair was pulled up into a messy bun on top of her head. Her eyes were puffy and the circle under eyes were dark. she was wearing a pair of old leggins that had a couple of tears in them with a random over-size tee that covered a long-sleeved black shirt. It amazed me how beautiful she was, even when she was a mess.

"Hey baby," I greeted softly, sending her a smile. It was nice to see her out of the bedroom, which she very rarely left.

"Did you have fun?" she asked as I walked over to the couch. She made room for me to sit down and wrap my arms around her before resting her head on my chest.

"Yeah, it was nice." I said, grasping her hand in mine and intertwining our fingers. They fit together like pieces of a puzzle. Her hand fit perfectly in mine, and I couldn't help but to think that we were simply meant to be. She had the promise ring I had given her a couple months ago still on her hand, leaving a slight circular indentation in her finger.

 "That's good."

"Yeah," I agreed. We lapsed into a comfortable silence. I played with her fingers, twisting the ring around in circles on her finger for something to do.

"Hey Zayn?" Her voice sounded small, almost sad.

"Yes love?"

"I'm sorry." she whispered, staring down at our intertwined hands.

"For what?"

"Everything." she mumbled, her voice cracking. "I know these past two weeks have been hard on you too. I know this isn't any easier for you than it is for me. I'm sorry I've been so hard to deal with. I-"

"Hey," I stopped her. "you don't have to apologize, alright? This isn't your fault. It's no one's fault. Don't apologize, okay? You can't beat yourself up over this."

"But I should have been more careful." she mumbled her voice back to a whisper.

"There's nothing either of us could've done." I said softly, kissing the top of her head. "But Alex, we can try again. We can keep trying if you want. I don't care what it takes. If you want a baby, I'm going to make sure you have one. "

Alex was quiet for a moment before I heard her quiet voice ask, "Why are you so good to me, Zayn?"

"Because I love you. You're absolutely perfect to me and you deserve nothing but good things. I don't think I'll ever be able to express how much I love you. I love you more than anyone I've ever come across." I told her, wanting to make sure she knew how important she was. "This thing.. I mean, what happened.. I know it's been hard. For the both of us. But we're going to get through it. I'm going to make sure we get through it, because I love you so much, and I can't even bear the thought of losing you."

Alex looked up at me, her bright eyes staring intensely into mine. 

"I love you Zayn." she told me seriously. "I love you so much." With that, her head moved forward and she crashed our lips together. I immediately kissed her back, our mouths moving together in synch. The feeling of her soft lips against mine assured me that everything was going to be okay.