Save You Tonight (A Zayn Malik Fanfic)

Chapter 33

Okay, this chapter may be a little confusing. I'm sorry if it is. Also, its kind of really sad. Well, to me it is. And it skips ahead a couple of months. After the flashback, its been 5 months since the last chapter. Does that evem make sense? Hmm oh well.

Chapter 33

Alex's POV

-Flashback-

I stared down at the small stick in my hand, trying to regulate my breathing. I had never imagined that such a small object could be so life changing. 

Please be negative. I thought to myself as I shook the stick, waiting for it to dry and tell me my results. Come on, come on come on. 

I set the stick on the floor next to me and ran my fingers through my messy black hair. I was currently sitting on the floor in the bathroom of mine and Zayn's apartment, waiting for the small test stick to tell me if I was pregnant or not.

"I can't be pregnant." I muttered into my hands, which my face was now resting in. I couldn't be pregnant. Zayn and I hadn't been together all that long, and this would ruin his career. I had this feeling in my stomach, a bad feeling. Zayn was probably going to leave me when he found out. 

"Be negative." I begged as I picked up the test again, shaking it once more before looking at it. 

Positive.

I could feel my chest tighten more and more every time I read it, but I couldn't stop reading it. I had to make sure I was reading it correctly. I had to make sure it wasn't in my head. However, after two minutes of staring at the small little negative sign, I was pretty sure it was going to change.

I was pregnant and Zayn was going to leave me.

"Babe, I'm home!" Speak of the devil. "Babe?"

I took in a deep, shaky breath, preparing myself for what was about to happen. "I'm in here." I called back, moving to un-lock the bathroom door so that he could come in. The door swung open not even ten seconds later, revealing my soon-to-be ex-boyfriend. 

He stared down at me, his eyes widening in concern. He quickly rushed to my side took me in his arms, pulling me into his lap. "What's wrong, Alex?"

I opened my mouth to answer him, but the words wouldn't come out. Instead, I raised a shaky hand, showing him the test that I was still holding. He stared it, blinking. 

"You're...?"

"Yeah," I nodded, answering his un-finished question. 

"I'm going to be dad?" he asked, his voice holding no emotion. 

"Zayn, I'm sorry." I told him, letting tears that I hadn't even realized I was holding back fall. "I'm so, so sorry. I-""

"I'm going to be a dad?" Zayn asked again, a new emotion in his voice. I nodded, staring down at my lap. Zayn pulled me into his chest, hugging me tightly. "I'm going to be a dad."

"I get it if you want to leave." I mumbled sadly.

"Leave?" he asked, pulling away to look at me. His eyebrows furrowed and he had a slight frown on his face. "Why would I leave?"

"Because I'm pregnant." I sniffled.

Zayn stared at me before his mouth opened and loud laughter came out. "You think I'd leave you because you're pregnant?" 

I stared at him, surprised by his laughter. He noticed my confusion, and quickly stopped.

"Alex, I'm not leaving you. Not ever, okay? I love you more than anything in this world, and I'm going to love this baby. I'm going to take care of you both." he reassured me before pulling me closer to him so that he could kiss me.

-End Flashback-

That was three months ago.

Three months of planning for a baby. Three months of constantly having to pee. Three months of gaining weight. Three months of moodiness that Zayn happily put up with. Three months of daily morning sickness. Three months of forming a close bond with someone I've never officially met, and now I'll never get to.

Just yesterday, everything was fine. Zayn and I were happy, and I was growing a baby inside of me. Just yesterday, Zayn and I were ready to start a family. Just yesterday, everything was going good.

It's amazing how in just twenty four hours, so many things can change.

"We're going to get through this." Zayn whispered in my ear for the hundredth time. "I love you, Alex. Everything's going to be okay."

I wanted to believe him, but I wasn't so sure if he even fully believe it. He was just as much of a mess as I was. All either of us could do was lay in bed. That's all we wanted to do. We laid in each other's arms, comforting one another while we cried. 

"I can't believe she's gone." I mumbled as the tears escaped once again. We didn't know for sure that it was a girl. We both just had a strong feeling. 

"I know, love. I know." Zayn soothed, rubbing circles on my back. 

I had never pictured myself being a mother. I never thought that having a kid would be such a big deal to me, but after I got pregnant, that changed. Once I told Zayn, it was the only thing I could think about. I grew more and more excited every day, and so did Zayn. We both couldn't wait to be parents. 

Maybe if I were still with Conner, losing the baby would feel different, less painful. But I wasn't with Conner, I was with Zayn, and I knew that he and I would be amazing parents. We both loved each other and wanted to be together. We wanted to raise a kid together.

"We can try again," Zayn murmured softly. "If you want, we can try again."

I didn't answer. I really did want to try again. I wanted to have a kid and become a mom. I wanted to start a family with Zayn. But I also didn't want to get pregnant again, only to lose another baby. I didn't want to wake up in a puddle of my own blood again. I didn't want to have to go through all of this again.

I heard Zayn sniffle. I raised my hand up to his cheek, stroking it softly with my thumb. It was my turn to comfort him.

"We're going to be okay, Zayn." I whispered, trying to convince myself just as much as I was trying to convince him. "I love you."