(Un)Happily Ever After {BTSxReader}

7. A Fight

There's thudding footsteps down the stairs of the cellar. You ready yourself for all that's about to happen.

     "When they bust in, y'all need to go, I can handle this."

     "You sure?" Wonpil grimaces, for a good reason at that. You seemed so down earlier... how will you get through this battle?

     You nod, sure of yourself.

     The seven bust through the wooden door of the room, immediately noticing their box of letters open and scattered some.

     "Fuck!" Jimin curses, running his hands through his hair in panic.

"Yeah, fuck is right... bitch," Jaerin says without confidence.

     You send her a look as if saying 'really?'.

     Your friends scurry out the door and leave you with your ex-husbands, who stand with awkwardness.

     "Y/N... did you read the letters..." Yoongi asks, voice trembling with fear.

    You sit down on a chair that used to be in your room. "They have my name on them, do they not?"

     Each man lets out a noise of distress, and you feel the need to comfort them, but then again, you also feel the need to strangle them right then and there.

     "Please, Y/N, it's not what you think-"

     "Do you remember our second group date? The one at the ice rink? Because I do. It was the first time I caught your eyes wandering. I was cold. And you told me I should have dressed heavier, for we were in a room of ice. But when we ran into you guys' high school 'friend', you each offered her your sweaters when she mentioned it was chilly. And that should have been my waking point. But no, I chose to set forth blindly. When she was gone, you each disappeared for a few minutes each. She was pretty and seemed nice. I should have known. But my heart wouldn't let me. Do you remember this? Because I do."

     "We've grown, Y/N, we've matured," Seokjin swears. "We aren't the same."

     "Really, because there's a girl in North Korea who thinks you're madly in love with her."

     "I-I-"Hoseok begins.

     "Love. It's a funny word," you chuckle as you smooth out any wrinkles on your gold dress. "It's a beautiful thing. And it's a thing that can hurt. You want me to believe that you've changed after I've found out your little secret? That's gonna be hard."

     "I swear!" Jungkook cries out all of a sudden, capturing everyone's attention, even yours. He has tears streaming down his sweet, pale cheeks, which have a small hint of pink because of the crying. "We've changed. We love you! I could never lie to you again!" He walks up to you before dropping to his knees. He buries his face in the layers of gold cloth before gripping onto it, his fists balled full of the golden material.

     You place your hand on the crying man's head and pat it gently. That swelling feeling in your heart is back. The one that yearns for each man, especially now that one is crying at your feet.

     "We're sorry. What else can we do."

     "Sorry..." you chuckle bitterly, the word holding a bitter taste to your tongue. "It's easy to say sorry."

     Jimin drops to his knees, similarly to Jungkook, who still sobs into your dress, only he's farther away from you. "I would give anything to receive your forgiveness. Just tell me what is holding back."

     "Here's another question. Do you remember what I said when you asked me if I wanted to know why you guys cheated?"

     Silence.

     "I said 'I already know; I wasn't enough'."

"We were-"

"Whatever your about to say, I don't care." You sniffle as you're remember the moment. The moment that truly shattered your heart. Maybe not for the first time, but it still heart. "Maybe it's selfish of me, petty even..."

"For what?" Namjoon dares to ask.

You don't respond right away. Just think in silence. "I can't look at you without feeling a pain in my chest. The loneliness, the hurt you gave me, it's all still there. I want you to feel it. Feel my pain. The longing. Every feeling that you ever gave to me, the good, the bad, the bittersweet."

"Y/N, is it really as bad as you say it is?" Taehyung asks, genuinely curious. He knows they hurt you, but at the same time, what is-

With a sharp look, his thoughts are cut off. "Taehyung, if I took a sword and plunged it through your heart, then took it away all at once, the sword, your heart, would it hurt? Because let me tell you what I felt, what I feel. It's like... how should I put this..? It's like you grabbed my heart with your bare hands and squeezed it's life out of it, until it beat no more. Until it was a sad, bruised, unusable thing. I'm surprised I even survived. It's giving something life and everything it could ever want, and then taking it all away at once. Because of your own greed. Because of your own selfishness. So yes, it really is as bad as I say." Your heartbeat is in your ears as you speak, and you really try. Really try not to cry, but you're not strong enough to hold back the tears as they roll down your cheeks, the hot streams burning your skin.

"I'm sorry," Hoseok apologizes once more.

"Is that all you can say?"

Again, silence.

"As much as I hate you, I love you." Each man perks up at that, not knowing if that's a good thing. "I hate you so, so much. So much, that I think it's an impossible amount. But here I am. Hating each of you. But what does that mean in terms of love. It means that no matter how much I hate you, you will always own my heart, like it's in a prison that only knows you guys. That only feels you."

"Will sorry ever mean anything to you?" Seokjin asks, and you smile with such grace, such beauty, that if they weren't already crying, they would be now.

You gently push Jungkook off of you carefully. You get up and dust your dress off before walking over to the cellar door and open it. Jungkook gets up and walks over to Jimin with trembling steps and helps him up before they each turn to you, who stands in the doorway. Without turning around, you speak once, and only once more.

"Sorry means as much to me as you all do. And you're dead to me."
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     was this angst? was it... good??

~kam