Belonging to the Bad Boy

Chapter 8

It's a crazy feeling when you can't tell what's real or not. That's how this motorcycle ride with Ranger was going. On one hand it felt like it had been hours since I was forced to get on this bike with him, taken to who knows where against better judgement and will. While on the other hand it felt like it had been mere minutes we had been riding. The wind wrapping me up, blowing away my stress and worries with the breeze, freshening my senses. My arms had found themselves wrapped around Ranger's waist, hugging closely for security that would never have come from him before. Security that I know I didn't need in any situation, yet somewhat craved.

I felt the breeze begin to slow, and the world came into better view. I pulled away from Ranger slightly and felt his body tense. I ignore him, taking in the vast lands before me. There was one, long, off-road trail in front of us, and all around were gargantuan trees almost blocking the sky from view. The smell of flowers tickled my nose, and the sounds of animals became more clear and the motorcycle quietened. It felt like a fairy-tale and a horror movie at the same time. 

Ranger pulls into a small side road, turning the motorcycle off after a minute of riding. All that could be heard was the woods. The animals talking, the trees brushing from the wind and my own breath. No cars, no lights, no people, just us. It wasn't until Ranger stood behind me that I realised that I'd wandered from the motorcycle, wandering into the woodland. "Quiet, right?" Ranger's breath fanned over my shoulder as he spoke, making me realise how close he was.

"Not anymore," I tease, feeling a worrying sense of comfort being this far out with someone I didn't think I trusted. I continued to walk anyway, feeling strange but no sense of real danger. "What're we doing out here?" I whisper, slowly looking around, taking in the beautiful surroundings, the quiet despite there being noise all around. Peace.

"Taking a break from the world," Ranger whispers back, still trailing closely behind me. He doesn't say anything more for what felt like forever, we just drifted slowly into the unknown. I saw birds I had never seen before, all different species of trees, deer roaming freely and flowers producing smells I never knew existed until now. I hear running water and happen upon a small, flowing river.

I take this opportunity to find a large rock and sit, curling my knees to my chest and resting my chin on them. I silently watched the flowing water, marvelling at what laid beneath the waves, what life was separated from us by the water. The sun shone through the thicket, reflecting off of the river. I turn to Ranger, his face illuminated by the rays bouncing off the water, rippling light brightening his eyes. The green was deep, captivating, but there shone a light.

"Who are you?" I whisper, the words slipping from my mouth before I could stop them. I bite my lip and quickly look down. Vulnerability. I didn't have the desire to push him away, to hurt him, to shout, scream or fight. It was not just my vulnerability that made me act this way, but his.

He lifts my chin with his finger and thumb, letting them linger there for a second before dropping his hand again. His minty scent overpowered the flowers and plants around us. I felt wrapped by him, like we had become entirely different people here. "Not the person you know from school," was all he said before turning to face the river again.

Bravery and curiosity engulf me, push me more than anything else. I take my hair-tie and pull all of my hair back into a high ponytail. I felt exposed, but it was a gesture to open up like I had. "Then show me who you really are." My voice was light, barely audible over the water crashing on the rocks of the river, yet he heard me clearly.

His head rose again to meet mine and I saw it clearly. The vulnerability I felt showed in his eyes, but that indistinguishable emotion that I couldn't catch before was clear; care and worry. I tilt my head, a gesture to continue, to tell me everything he couldn't tell anyone else. I wanted to dive into his soul, to save him from himself. I wanted to hold him, show him anything other than the cold he showed all of the time. I wanted to help him, like I figured he was trying to help me.

"There's a lot. Too much." He sighs, never taking his eyes from mine. I study his face, looking at every inch, trying to figure him out. "I am that guy from school, actually. Just, there are times like these when it's different. I feel something different. I come here to think." I nod, staying quiet. I look around again, taking in the surroundings before meeting his gaze. "You were my mission."

I sit, staring for a moment. "Mission?" I whisper aloud, not meaning to voice my thoughts. I didn't understand why he felt he had to change me so badly.

"I couldn't stand watching everyone walk over you, and I felt the anger you felt whenever you saw me, spoke to me. I wanted you to feel the freedom that came with confidence and control." I look back at the river, considering his words.

"Like the control you have?"

"No, your own control. Control over yourself, your emotions, your decisions, your future," he trails off as I feel his gaze travel my body again, reaching my eyes in the end. "Power for yourself."

I smile, somehow understanding what he was trying to say. It's what I told myself after Damon suggested this change. I wanted to be stronger, to have friends, to have the courage to go for the things I want against all odds. I never had that confidence before, and now I trust myself and the decisions I make, knowing they're for my benefit. "I think I understand. Like how my heart told me to trust you today."

A playful smirk plays at his lips, and I realise what I said and that it was aloud and not a thought. "If I remember correctly you 'didn't want to go anywhere with me' and fought me quite a bit." I roll my eyes and gently push his shoulder. As if a natural reaction he strikes up and grabs my wrist. My heart skips a beat and a gasp slips past my lips. Immediately his eyes are apologetic and his grip loosens, but he doesn't let go. I become aware of how close we are, but I don't move.

We sit, staring deep into each other's eyes, almost as if we're trying to see into each others souls. I take a breath and my nose is filled with his mint and my lavender and rose scents mingling between us. His eyes flit downwards then back up to my eyes. I knew what was happening, it was intoxicating. I could not stop it. The crashing of the river, the singing birds, the gentle breeze feeling like it was pushing me closer. I felt my own eyes glance downwards, and as I did his smirk came back. One half of me was fighting, my brain telling me not to trust him, not to trust that playful grin. The other half was begging me to give in, to believe in my heart that was yearning for more.

"Alessandra," I watched my name pass through his lips, my heart melting for the gentle tone in which he addressed me. I felt myself fall closer, and all other logic was quickly being swept away.

"Ranger," I whispered back. I felt his hand tighten slightly around my wrist, his whole body tensing as I said his name. He chewed the inside of his cheek, and I could tell that this was all new to him to. I knew that he had no idea what he was doing, or what was happening. He seemed to be fighting it more so. "I see you," I whisper, locking my eyes with his. Gentleness is all I saw in his face, and in one movement our lips were touching. The movement was fierce, our lips colliding like two cars going far too fast, but the movement that ensued was gentle, almost weary. I let go of the restraint and let my body fall into Ranger's, his arms wrapping around me to catch me. One of my hands fell to his chest as the other gently caressed his jaw.

It felt like hours when it had been seconds, but this time in the best way possible. It felt like time stopped in that moment, that nothing else existed outside of us. I pull away slowly, taking a breath to steady myself from the shock of what just happened. I look at Ranger and frown sadly. He looks angry and confused, yet he continued to hold me tentatively. "We should go," he whispered, helping me off of the rock. As we began to walk back to the motorcycle I sighed heavily, trailing behind as he lead us through the woods. Was that a mistake?