Out of Breath

Chapter 7

"Please, you must take that job. The boys need school clothes, and the house could use some repairs," Ma begs as she paces in front of Terry. Like usual, he is sprawled out on the couch, with one hand tucked into his pants. Ma's wrinkles seem double what they were yesterday, and they look dirty. Having a dirty face is a swamp thing, we all do, but her wrinkles look like cracked, dry mud.

"So, you are saying you want me to go slave away so you can blow my money on clothes for boys who aren't even mine?" He doesn't look at Ma when they talk. His dull eyes stay glued to the TV. His fat rolls hang over the couch. He has gotten fatter since he moved in, but how? We hardly have enough to eat? I pinch my side. I know I have lost weight with him here, because he is like this big fat boar who consumes every available root, leaving nothing left for us, except, there is hardly anything to consume.

Ma twists her apron in her hand. She has that terrified look on her face that Raven has when someone talks to him. "Terry, before we married, you promised you would keep a steady job. You weren't the first man who wanted to marry me just for my property. I trusted you. Now, you have to keep your promise and get a job." The words are quiet as if Ma forced her entire will to say them.

Ma never was timid like this before. She had no problem running the home with an iron fist, yet barrels of love, before Terry came. Now, she is a timid-nothing-of-a-woman with him here. Why does she let him stay?

"How can I trust you? Last time I got a job, you acted like a floozy and threw a big party here. I can't trust you." A cockroach runs over his head. He doesn't seem to notice. The bug's hard-shell moves up and down. A snicker escapes me. It is perfect. The little cockroaches are paying tribute to their giant king roach, Terry. When was the last time he took a bath?

Ma swallows, "This is my home. I can throw a party any time I want." I suspect she is trying to assert herself. I would be proud of her, if her volume wasn't meek and timid. Her actual words are strong, but her deliverance is pathetic, and she looks like she might faint.

Terry flies off the couch so fast you would have thought a fire ant bit his bum.

"This is my house now! The law gave it to me when we wed. I can't trust you. No, I don't reckon I will get a job. But listen, Mack down at the Pantry told me about this school cook job. Why don't you waddle your little hinny down there, and you get a job." His girth towers over Ma. He looks like a black bear ready to strike. The adrenal spikes within me. Is that low life going to hit her? I won't stand for it! I want to protect her, but I don't move. Maybe I am as big as a coward as Ma is.

This shames me.

Ma wraps her arms around her chest. The beast is breathing down her face. Hot heavy breaths. His nostrils flare open, and his eyes are wild. Why isn't she sticking up for herself? Why do I not protect her either? He is frightening at his full stance.

I remember how the dark Skitler had said Ma was pretty. She was pretty before Terry came, but now she looks broken. Terry's veins bulge and pulsate. At least he hasn't hit her, but he might. Raven cowers behind me. I should be the man of this house. I should be protecting my family from scum like Terry.

Ma looks like she wants to say something, but then she turns and scampers out the cabin, much like a dog with a broken tail.

Slam.

The door hits against the frame. "Go get me some pie," Terry snarls at me. I run into the kitchen. Ma's pie is cooling in the window. She made that for dinner. I'm in a dilemma. If I give Terry some pie, Ma's feelings will be hurt that we broke into it. If I don't bring Terry a piece, he might smack me. I look into the other room. He has sprawled back on the couch. He looks liked a beached walrus, with his nasty beard full of goo, and the loud gas he is passing.