Hearts and Headstands

Chapter 19

David's hands shook as he straightened the jars of cocoa butter for the tenth time.

Strong arms wrapped around his waist. "David, if you took a ruler to those and measured their distance, I think you'll find they're perfectly spaced."

Patrick spun him around and David let out a little squeal, then wrapped his arms around Patrick's shoulders. They stared at each other, neither saying anything. Merely being in Patrick's presence had a calming effect, which was something David never thought would be possible without enough pills to tranquilize a horse.

"Are you anxious?"

David nodded.

"I can help you relax." Patrick's hands slid down David's waist as he started walking them back to the storage room.

David dug his heels in. "If we go back there, I'm not going to want to come out because I'll be far too sated to get through opening day, or my anxiety will mix with my clinically devastating attraction for you and I will have a brain aneurism."

Patrick laughed as he reached up and pressed a tender kiss against David's lips.

David moaned. "You're like a Lorazepam."

"That's quite the compliment." Patrick's tone was teasing but David knew he understood what he meant.

It was so good having Patrick with him for opening day. The past twenty-four hours had flown by in a flash, with Patrick having helped David with the final-final touches after his trip to Toronto.

The anxiety returned tenfold.

"Short acting Lorazepam," Patrick said as he rubbed circles on David's back.

David refused to let Patrick know that most of his stress was about the uncertainty of where they stood. Patrick had told David how great the offer was, that David would love the free flat, and that it would be a solid opportunity. That's it. Nothing about a decision or a timeline or anything.

Maybe he had made a decision, and he was waiting to get through the opening first, so David didn't have a complete and utter meltdown when the news came.

How could Patrick stay in Schitt's Creek? He knew how incredible Patrick was at his job - he'd benefited from it first-hand. Keeping him in Schitt's Creek would be a detriment to society, and David couldn't handle that kind of burden or guilt. Roses didn't do guilt.

He kept trying to remind himself to just enjoy the minutes he had with Patrick and he'd be able to remember them later when he would cry in the storeroom between customers when he returned to being a sad, lonely, pathetic man who lived with his sister. And, kinda technically, his parents.

If he had a dollar for every time he thought about closing down the store and offering to go to Toronto with Patrick, he'd have a new designer sweater or two. Deep down, he knew that wouldn't work either. Patrick knew David too well and knew how important it was for David to see Rose Apothecary through and succeed at something.

David pulled Patrick into a tight hug. He willed the tears to remain at bay and he let himself feel the strength and support of Patrick's presence. Whatever happened, they would be okay.

Eventually.

Patrick returned the hug with equal enthusiasm. David knew Patrick was hurting and stressed too.

Love was hard.

The corner of David's mouth quirked up a notch. It was getting easier and easier to think of that word in connection to Patrick. That word used to be a meaningless four-letter thing, but now it carried all of David's hopes and fears.