Friends with benefits • a/p

Chapter 17

Perrie's POV

"Tell me more about the baby.." - he says. "Do you know the gender?"

"Yeah.. It's a girl.." - I say with a smile.

"A girl?" - a smile appears on his face as he looks at me.

"Yeah, I found out a couple of weeks ago.."

"Perrie.. look.. I shouldn't have I reacted like that a few days ago.. I'm sorry.." - he says taking my hand.

"It's okay.. I understand that.."

"I'm going to take my responsibility as a dad, I'll support you all the way through the pregnancy, and of course, after that. You're not alone in this.." - he says.

"Thank you" - I say and squeeze his hand.

"Do you wanna go out? We can have a walk or something..?"

"Sure, just give me a minute.." - I say and stand up, walking up to my bedroom.

A few days ago, I woke up in my bed, wearing Alex's jacket. The last thing I remembered from the previous night, was me getting inside Alex's car. He then had asked me if I'm cold, and then I had put on his jacket. I didn't even remember how I had fallen asleep. I had a dream of him holding me tightly to his chest, as if he didn't want to let go. I was so surprised and kind of happy when my mum told me about him the next day.

Today he came to my place to apologise for what happened at the wedding. It wasn't fair for me to just accept that, I apologised too. I know it wasn't the right time nor place to have that conversation. We both missed the most of our friends' wedding. And as if it wasn't enough, I had to pass out there. I mean, it's not something I can control, but I still didn't want it to happen. I know that as much as they say it's alright and that I shouldn't worry, it wasn't fair for them.

I wish it wasn't like this. I wish I told him about the baby when I found out. Maybe it wouldn't be like this.

I go back in the living room, after changing into joggers and a crop top. My bump is out, and it looks cute. It's not that big but I can notice it growing every day. And I want to show it off, because I don't want to be insecure about it.

Alex notices me coming in and she stands up. My mum comes in from the kitchen and smiles at us.

"Take care of them" - she tells Alex.

"Will do, don't worry" - he smiles and puts his hand around my waist, leading me towards the door.

"Stay safe kids, bye" - my mum says before she closes the door.

As soon as we get out, we decide to go to the park nearby. I'm just hoping this will all go well. I don't want to push him into our baby's life or anything, but I want him to be there. I want my daughter to have a father by her side. That's something I didn't really have. He said he'd be there for me, but I'm still scared he might change his mind. His reaction a few days ago wasn't like I expected it, I don't know if he's really ready for this. What if one day he changes his mind and just leaves? What if my daughter grows up knowing her dad didn't love her so he left?

"Perrie..?" - he says, making me look up at him.

"Mm?"

"You're being really quiet.. Are you okay?" - he asks.

"I guess.." - I mumble.

"What's bothering you..?"

"How do you know something's bothering me..?"

"Well.. you're being quiet.. it never ends well when you're quiet cause it means you're probably pissed about something.." - he says.

"You know me too well" - I smile, then I sigh before speaking again. "It's just.. I don't know if you're sure about this.. Because this is not a temporary thing, you'll be a father forever. If you can't take that responsibility in a year, or five years, or fifteen years, then don't take it at all now.."