Lie To Me (Frerard)

10: In Which Frank's Dog Causes Gerard To Become A Devout Catholic

Frank reckoned that his life was beyond fucking screwed right now, and no matter what nonsense Mikey Way tried to comfort him with, the feeling of despair and 'oh god, I'm absolutely fucked' just would not go away, or maybe it was just the unforgettable reminder of the fact that Frank had been fucked, but in a far more literal way entirely.

And to put it incredibly ironically, a reminder like that was an absolute pain in the ass.

And really, discomfort sitting down was really not something the sixteen year old had bargained for when he called up some random asshole off Craigslist and hoped for the best, simply in the hopes of having hated it and having some form of reassurance that he wasn't a massive flaming homosexual.

But despite the dodgy guy and the ass pain, it was still the best fuck that Frank Iero had ever had, and really, Frank has a damn lot of fucks, and all of them casual, and none of them like that one. And he just couldn't help but think about how much better it would be with some cute - someone that he cared about and somehow that cared about him, and maybe even someone that would be just a little more gentle than the other guy had been.

Frank just wanted to be told that he was loved while his ass was fucked, and he wanted to be cuddled after, and he wanted to be reassured that he was okay like this, and that it was okay to be the fucking faggot that he really was, and Frank wanted someone to kiss like nothing else mattered, and then suddenly everything made far too much sense and not at all in the way that Frank had wanted it to.

Really, this was nothing more than what was supposed to be the sixteen year old's worst nightmare, but in reality, it was nothing like that at all. This felt like acceptance, and really, it kind of felt okay, and maybe it was just the fact that Frank had managed to make sense of his own head for once.

He just didn't want a girlfriend and he could never have a girlfriend, yet he drowns himself in casual fucks, because he didn't like girls like that, and he never would, and really, it was just a way to get off, a way to pass the time, and a way to make himself look 'cooler', and it had worked, at least until now, when he finally managed to figured things out.

At least until Gerard Way turned up, at least until he made Mikey's brother burn the poptarts and caused Alicia and Lindsey to laugh at him, and really, Frank wanted it all to go back to when he didn't even know who Gerard fucking Way was.

He wanted to go back to Bert and the skate park and he wanted to make things up with that once best friend of his, and maybe he'd talk Gee into getting into bed with him, and then everything would be okay, because he could just lie to himself for a little longer, and Gee was kind of cute, he guessed, but, but now the thought had come to him, it just refused to leave.

Frank didn't want a girlfriend, and yet he wanted someone to kiss, cuddle, fuck, and care about, and some to care about him too. He wanted all of that, and he wanted so much more - he wanted kisses in the dark and sneaking out to smoke in stupid places that they'd get lost in, and he wanted to fuck like last night, and he wanted to come like he did last night.

And for the first time, he'd finally made sense of it, because Frank Iero wanted a boyfriend.

And, still, it wasn't just as 'simple' as that, because he didn't just want a boyfriend, he wanted Gerard Way.

And right now, kind of to punch himself in the face as well.

"Frank, are you even listening to me at all?" Mikey's voice seemed to almost fade back into reality as the sixteen year old felt himself pulled away from his thoughts, bearing what he could only call a mortified expression. "You're not - are you? What are you thinking about? Come on, talk to me."