Love and Hate

Morning walk of shame 2

Warning: mature contents below, read at your own risk.
I can't believe I slept with Myles, I wanted my first to be special and not with someone like him and it had to happen when i was drunk.
I was in my room and under the sheet, I didn't want to see anyone.
I try to remember what it was like, i never wanted my first to be like this.

After having another drink, i stood up and I was about to leave Myles and go upstairs but he pulls me to his lap and starts kissing my neck.
"Myles, stop it." I try to stop him because why not.
He didn't stop nibbling on a spot on my neck and I let out a soft moan. That gave him a go ahead and he placed his right palm on my boobs and gave it a soft squeeze.
"Myles, i think we should stop now" i try to reason even though the pleasure was clouding my mind.
"Sit tight little blonde, I won't hurt you. Let my hands and lips do their thing" he leaves my neck for a second and gives me the smirk but this time I don't care about it.
I'll just stop him later, I should be able to do that.

Next thing we are in his room and all of our clothes are on the floor, I'm naked under Myles and he's naked too.
After making out for sometime he lifts my head up and asks "can you give a blowjob"
I nod my head yes and turn him over so I'm straddling him, i kiss from his chin down to his waist and place my hand over his dick. It's hard and big and I'm starting to wonder how far we've gone.
I flick my tongue over his tip and he lets out a groan. I take that as a good sign and I do it again and again.
I place half of his dick in my mouth just to tease him and pull it out again.
"Come on babe, just put it all in" he whines
I feel like I'm in control and smirk, i tease him again and again and when he tried to push my head I slapped his hand.
" say please" i said and batted my eyelashes and put my finger in my mouth and sucked on it.
What a great attempt at trying to be sexy.
"Please"
Well it worked.
I sucked his dick and kept sucking. He pulled out of my mouth and flipped me over.
"You've got mad moves blonde" I'm good.
I giggled like a teenager and watched him spread my legs.
He tried to enter but it was painful and I flinched, he tried again and that was when i let out a whimper.
"Is this your first time?" He asked and searched my eyes for an answer.
I nodded and he kissed my forehead.
"If you want me to stop just say so" i nodded again and then he thrust into me and it felt like my vagina ripped. I could feel him in me and when he started thrusting in and out i wanted him to be in me, just like that.
He kept thrusting and soon he came and fell on the bed next to me, he didn't even bother to give me an orgasm.

Wait a minute, we didn't use protection.
I jumped off my bed and pick my phone and searched about every possible answer i could get to this question.
Can i get pregnant if I don't use protection during sex.
I'm not dumb and I know that it's possible but I just need something to give me a doubt, something to assure me that I wouldn't become a baby mama and not a wife or a mother with a lovely family.
I just can't get pregnant for someone that doesn't have a relationship with me, that's fucked up and I don't want that.
When it dawned on me that only one thing could give me that doubt i curl up like a ball and cry like a baby, a baby that may or may not be carrying a baby. I wish I could go back and stop myself from sleeping with Myles.
All I have to do now is wait for that time of the month.

I just made the biggest mistake of my life.